


Beyond the Scripts

by herkerina



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Casual Sex, Eventual Romance, Friends With Benefits, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Secret Relationship, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-01-08 20:46:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 48,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12261780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herkerina/pseuds/herkerina
Summary: Celebrities will often show the world a side of them that doesn't quite correspond to their true selves. If one could get past the stories they tell and actually see what happens in their private lives, I wonder what we would find?~ It all starts with a playful dare. ~





	1. The Dare

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, huge author’s note ahead but **please read** because it’s important if you don’t want to be confused at some point of the story. For the sake of this fic, I'm making changes to their backstory, BUT still maintaining it “canon”. Kinda. Basically, in this fic a lot (but not all) of their backstory is made up by themselves just to get more attention from the media and it was specially used in the start of their career as one more tool for their success (mostly Murdoc’s idea). It's "canon" because from everyone else's POV (media, fans, even most of their friends and family), it's all true. Meaning, it looks canon to all of us here. Very, very few people know the actual facts. TRUST ME ON THIS, PEOPLE.
> 
> The core of this story does not revolve around those changes, but they are important too. Some of the smaller changes I'll say right away, along with some other things.
> 
> 1, This fic happens somewhere in between Plastic Beach/The Fall and Humanz, and the band is reunited, living in London (212 Wobble Street).  
> 2, The place they live looks basically the same as the Do Ya Thing video, except it’s more normal-ish and there’s a small porch outside.  
> 3, I won't use the whole "Murdoc pretending to be in Hawaii / his pirate radio station" in the fic even though this is still true here.  
> 4, Russ is his normal size (it was just editing for the music videos). But the fact that he can/does get possessed from phase 1 onwards is still real, along with Del too (but Del won't be in the fic).  
> 5, Just to assure everyone, 2D still has blue hair and black fractured eyes.  
> 6, Murdoc and 2D argue a lot, get angry and all, but 2D doesn’t cower too much even though Murdoc is still an ass. No actual fighting like physically abusing/hurting each other, though. When they’re not fighting, they actually get along very well although they’re too proud to admit they are in fact very good friends. Okay that’s enough, you’ll know more about their dynamic further on.
> 
> Ages: 2D is 33, Murdoc is 45, Noodle is 21 and Russel is 36. But all looking fiiiine.

 

 

 

“Muuurdoc, you have to do it well, _hai?_ Or it doesn’t count!” Noodle said between drunk giggles. “Pffft… Wag your tail and all… B-bark a little!”

 

And there he was, an angry and embarrassed old bassist walking around on all fours, glaring at everyone in the room. The crew had gathered in the living room for some _family time,_ and after eating and _(specially)_ drinking, they settled on a good ol’ _Truth or Dare_ game. It had started about 40 minutes earlier, and the questions and dares were getting funnier and funnier as the buzzed four laughed their asses off. Right now it was Murdoc’s turn, evidently, and he was dared by Russel to act like a dog for two minutes, which included walking around and letting everyone pet and play with him.

 

“Well, at least he’s got the growling spot on” the drummer said, his voice in a higher pitch than usual for laughing so hard while petting the mop of black hair, making the satanist even more furious. He moved on along the circle, now in front of the singer, who was quite literally rolling on the floor hugging his torso with both arms as tears of excitement rolled down his face.

 

2D gathered himself as best as he could, looking at Murdoc sitting in front of him and staring back with the most annoyed expression ever. He sat down, now fully facing him and brought a hand between the both of them, palm facing up.

 

“Give paw!” he said before bursting into a fit of giggles again. He was lost in his own little world when suddenly a strong pain took over his fingers.

 

“AAAaaaaaAAHH JESUS FUCK, MURDOC”

 

“Alright, time’s up.” was the simple reply, as the _former dog_ now moved to sit back on his spot, next to the startled singer.

 

“Did ya fuckin’ BITE me hand?!”

 

“No one said I had to be a _good_ dog, dullard.” he said with a big smirk on his face.

 

“Okay, okay guys, let’s move on. Murdoc, do the honours.” the young guitarist said. He promptly moved forward and spinned the bottle of beer on the floor, which landed pointing to a very oblivious singer who was still massaging his hand, lulling the pain away.

 

“Ha! Perrrrrrfect. Okay, pretty boy. Are ya ready?”

 

“Oh no, from _you?!”_ Black eyes widened in fear of what would be suggested for him to do.

 

“Yeah, _me._ Truth or dare?”

 

“Uh. Dare?--”

 

“--Well chosen.”

 

“NO WAIT! I MEANT TRUTH! TRUTH!”

 

“Nah, too late faceache, you can’t change it!”

 

“Uh actually I think he can.” Russel calmly pointed out.

 

“Shuddup lard arse!” he yelled back before turning to the bluenette with a grin. “Alright… I want ya to… do push-ups until it’s yer turn again.”

 

Stuart stared at him for a few seconds, clearly expecting something a lot worse. Something either painful, extremely embarrassing or sexual. Hell, maybe a combination of these. But simple _push-ups?_ C’mon.

 

“Um. Okay?” he said in confusion while getting into position. It seemed just… too easy. Noodle and Russel merely exchanged looks for a moment before shrugging and moving on. Russel then moved forward, reaching for the bottle.

 

“Aiight, I’ll spin it for you since you’re... busy.”

 

He did so, and the bottle now pointed at Noodle.

 

“Noooooo” she whined and then went back to giggling yet again - clearly having had too much alcohol tonight.

 

“Uh… O-okay Noods…” the singer began, now beginning to struggle to speak because of his push-ups.

 

“How’s yer workout goin’, huh?” the bassist amusedly interrupted, very pleased with watching his mate suffer.

 

“Sh-shut the… fuck up” he replied before directing his attention to the guitarist again. “T-truth or… dare?”

 

She started grinning lazily before saying a single word, looking at all of them. Murdoc merely rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Satan, she’s gonna say it again.”

 

Her grin widened even more. “It’s -- _pffft…_ It’s daaaaare!” and then burst out hysterically for the umpteenth time that night. Sure, it was funny the first couple of times, but she was way too tipsy now and apparently had decided to choose _dare_ every single time now, so everyone just ignored the joke this time.

 

“Okay… P-post sumthing... embarrassing online… and uh, leave it for at least... f-five minutes.”

 

“Ohhhhhhh that’s a nice one, man!” the drummer exclaimed while bringing his own bottle of beer up and taking another long sip.

 

The young woman glared at him, even though she was still smiling somehow, which made for the weirdest expression imaginable, and picked up her phone. “Aww damn… what do I have to post?”

 

“Y-your choice luv, jus’... jus’ has ta be embarrassing.” he breathed out, his thin arms slightly shaking.

 

She thought about it for a bit before raising her eyebrows up and blurting out “Oh!! Oh I know! Hang on, I got this.” She typed for a few seconds, holding back her laughs as if she was pulling a prank on someone else rather than on herself.

 

“There. I just tweeted it.”

 

They all picked up their phones, except for 2D of course, being still, well... busy.

 

“HOLY SHIT! Babygirl, are you sure you want _that_ online?” the drummer asked, trying hard not to crack up while Murdoc simply laughed his ass off.

 

“Wot is it?! Hah… W-wot did… she write?” the blue-haired man asked, now really having a hard time and beginning to sweat, finally starting to understand the punishment that the bassist set upon him.

 

“You’ll see. There’re probably screenshots around Tumblr already.” the satanist replied.

 

“Ohhhh shit I forgot they would do that.” Noodle said, just now realizing that being famous also meant that tons of followers would instantly see and spread any content all over the internet.

 

“F-fine, you… you can delete it then…” the singer decided, and everyone agreed to bend the rules a little. It would be forever registered anyway. She deleted the tweet not even a couple of minutes after posting it and then spinned the bottle on the floor.

 

2D stared at it with such intensity while it spinned, wishing very hard for his dare to come to an end. _‘Please be me, please be me, please be--’_

 

His thoughts were interrupted when it landed on Russ instead. He groaned and collapsed on the floor, only to be immediately nudged by Murdoc. “Na-ah-ah! Until yer next turn~”

 

Only an angry mumble was heard as he shakily repositioned himself and continued, much slower than before.

 

“Russ! What will it be?~”

 

“I’ll stick to truth this time. Don’t wanna do any shit outside again.”

 

“Oookay, let’s see… mmm… Oh I know, something simple.” Her behaviour was clearly changing to a more quieter tone by now, probably going from happy-drunk to sentimental-drunk. “So, if you were marooned on an island for, let’s say, a few months... which one of us would you choose to keep you company?”

 

The shaking singer murmured quietly “Heh, I know who I _w-wouldn’t_ choose…”

 

“Wot wos that, faceache?!”

 

“I didn’ s-say it’s you!” he exclaimed before lowering his head and mumbling “but it is” giggling breathlessly while doing his exercise, before suddenly feeling extremely heavy as Murdoc’s hand laid flat across his back, adding pressure down to make it more difficult for him. He collapsed again, groaning at him.

 

“S-sod off Murdoc, ‘s not fair!”

 

The drummer stared at the two idiots for a few moments before deciding. “Guess that’s easier than I thought. I’d pick Noods, hands down.”

 

“Heeey, wot does that mean?!” came the protest from the singer.

 

“Awww thanks Russ!” she said happily and leaned forward to give him a tight hug.

 

“Alright, alright, move on then ya idiots.” the satanist complained. After ruffling Noodle’s hair a bit, Russel reached forward and spinned the bottle, which landed, thankfully for 2D, on him.

 

“YES! Fuckin’ _finally.”_ he said, lying down on his stomach, face planted on a pillow on the floor.

 

“So, D! What do you choose?”

 

He thought about it for a few seconds, scared to get another bad dare but also excited because most of them were fun to do anyways.

 

“I guess I’ll go with dare again.” He smiled and sat up properly, waiting for what Russel would tell him to do.

 

The big guy eyed him up and down before briefly looking at the bassist, who was evidently proud of the results his dare had on poor 2D. It then clicked for him. Russ smirked at his own idea and then put up a serious face and cleared his throat.

 

“Well, D… your dare will be…” he paused for dramatic effect.

 

Everyone was looking expectantly at Russel, knowing he usually had some of the most funny questions and dares in the group.

 

“... to _make out_ with Murdoc there, _tongue and all,_ for uh… 10 seconds is fine?” he asked the last part while looking at Noodle. Her face brightened up, eyes wide and mouth pulling a big grin. “Ohhh that’s the best one, Russ! Yeah, I think 10 seconds is enough~”

 

The colour on both their faces washed out as they remained unresponsive for a few moments before lunging forward and bursting complaints at the same time.

 

“THAT’S NOT EVEN MY FUCKIN’ DARE YA IDIOT WHY THE HELL DO YA THINK I SH--”

“OH FUCK NO RUSS PLEASE I CAN DO MORE PUSH-UPS I-I CAN DO ANYTHING PLEASE JUS--”

 

Noodle stood up calmly, walking over to the two angry babblers and slapped them both at the back of their heads, effectively quieting them down. “Just man up and do a simple challenge, okay boys? It’s just 10 seconds, give me a break.” she said, before smiling sweetly and walking back to her spot.

 

The pair looked at each other briefly, before sighing and giving in.

 

“Ye’ll have a revenge fer this, Russ” 2D muttered, frowning.

 

“Whatever, man!” he grinned, not really worried, and turned to the guitarist. “This gon’ be precious!”

 

“Fine, let’s get this over with, faceache.”, ignoring when 2D quietly mumbled “shit” under his breath and he leaned forward, but paused looking to his side to the other two “Are ya counting?”.

 

“Yeah, yeah, in our heads.” the drummer said dismissively.

 

The satanist looked at the singer again, those huge black pits staring back at him while biting his lip. They both leaned forward slowly, heartbeats loud while they closed their eyes.

 

As soon as their lips touched, they both felt their chests tigthening, heartbeats thumping even faster. They didn’t see the amused expressions on their mates’ faces. They didn’t hear their howls and laughs. The dare laid forgotten in the back of their minds as soon as they parted lips and their tongues touched.

 

A rough hand moved up to the back of the singer’s head, deepening the kiss while the other grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him close. The kiss grew more and more passionate as they both explored each other’s mouths eagerly, their arms soon wrapping around their necks and waists tighter.

 

Meanwhile, the other two wiped tears from intense laughing and Noodle desperately went to grab her phone to register the moment before time was up. As she was hastily grabbing the phone on the floor, Russel’s grin weakened and he raised one eyebrow in confusion when he looked back at the other two to find them _very_ enthusiastically making out.

 

He knew the 10 seconds had just now gone by, but instead of saying anything he nudged the guitarist with his elbow while she was setting the camera and giggling, and she looked at him. He gestured in Murdoc and 2D’s direction with his head and they quietly observed the two.

 

“Should we tell them it’s over?” he whispered to her.

 

“I… don’t know, I’m kinda curious.” she replied in a quiet voice. “They, uh… they seem very into it.” She took a picture anyway, knowing she apparently didn’t have to hurry at all.

 

The singer and the bassist were grabbing each other tight, breathing hard through their noses and making very quiet little noises at the back of their throats, when they were interrupted by two distinctive voices clearing up their throats exaggeratedly loud.

 

They pulled apart in a hurry, faces completely flushed as they stared at each other and at the two on their side with widened eyes.

 

“Sorry to interrupt the lovebirds but uh, do you still want to continue the game?” Russel smirked at them.

 

“Wha… _FUCK, DENTS._ Got a bit too excited there, huh? Satan…” he yelled at the blushing man while trying to fix his wrinkled shirt - completely unaware of the distinct pink tint over his cheeks.

 

“ARE YA CRAZY? Ya were fuckin’ snogging me as if I was one of yer birds or sumthing!”

 

“I WAS TRYIN’ TA PULL AWAY, dammit! Ya were gripping me hard, ya needy soddin’ bastard!”

 

“NEEDY?! _You_ were the one grabbing me by me waist and pulling me in! If anyone was tryna pull away, that was ME!”

 

“Yeah _right,_ ANYONE could clearly see--”

 

“Actually” the young woman began, making them all stop and look at her. “As spectators… we can securely say you were BOTH veeeery into it.”. Russel simply nodded at her words.

 

“I WAS DEFINITELY NOT FUCKIN’ INTO IT--”

“NO NO NO GUYS YOU GOT THE WRONG ID--”

 

“Okay, enough!” Russel interrupted. “Let’s just leave it like that, aiight? It was a dare, you did it uh, very well, and it’s now over. We don’t need to have a whole discussion about it, so quit ya bitchin, y’all.”

 

“Yeah, I agree. You know, maybe we can call it a night, yeah? Boy, that was fun! We should do this more often.”

 

“Dun’ wanna…” the bluenette mumbled quietly. The bassist stood up, grumbling under his breath as he walked out of the living room without saying another word.

 

“I gotta go. Night, guys” the singer hurriedly said before walking away in the opposite direction of the satanist, eager to avoid any questions from those two about what just happened.

 

“Night~”

 

“Sweet dreams!”

 

 

 

 


	2. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people!  
> Ugh, I know. I took too long to edit and post this chapter, but I'll try to do it more frequently for the following ones.
> 
> I hope you can appreciate this chapter :)

 

 

 

 

A heavy knock on the door woke Stuart up, only to be soon followed by a pounding migraine. He whimpered, reaching for the little plastic bottle of his prescription pills, popping the lid open with his thumb and taking three of them in his hand, eyes squeezed almost shut. 

 

From the hallway, Russel grew impatient from not hearing any responses at all and decided to just go ahead and open the door. He peeked in, watching the bluenette swallowing a bunch of pills without even opening his eyes. “Morning, D.”

 

Thoughts from last night flooded the singer’s mind and he groaned, pulling the blanket over his head in hopes of disappearing from the world and avoiding any social interactions. Russel sighed.

 

“Dude. We have practice now, you forgot?”

 

“Awwww  _ shit…” _ he mumbled from within his poor excuse of a hideout before huffing and pulling the blankets back off. “Sorry Russ, just give me 5, mkay?”

 

“Sure man, just hurry up. We were just waiting for you, y’know?”

 

The singer just waved with his hand, cringing with any and all sounds in the morning, not even wanting to hear his own voice. He pulled himself up, dragging his feet towards the small bathroom in the hallway. After using the loo, washing his face and brushing his teeth, he hurriedly went back to his room to change into his comfy clothes he liked wearing for band practice and then made his way out.

 

Once he walked into the studio, he saw everyone already in their usual spots, all sporting not-rested-enough looks on their faces. Noodle was in even worse shape, gently massaging her temples with her fingers, eyes tightly shut - evidently very hungover.

 

“Hey, sorry guys, I completely forgot” he said, one hand rubbing his arm awkwardly while making his way to set up his keyboard and microphone, avoiding to look in Murdoc’s direction by all means.

 

Noodle peeked one eye open. “It’s alright Toochi.” She smiled kindly at him. A few seconds later though, she continued. “You know, we tried to convince Muds here to go wake you up with a good morning kiss...”. The bluenette, who was standing backwards to everyone else, tensed up. She looked to her side at the moody bassist, grinning. “Didn’t work though...”

 

“SOD OFF, will ya?” Murdoc grunted. “Can we just fuckin’ start this shit already?”

 

~

 

A few minutes into band practice and the atmosphere got much more pleasant for everyone; it always seemed to work wonders for them. Music was not just their careers after all, but their lives. When they were working together to craft amazing melodies like this, all worries, tension and animosities dissipated for as long as they played.

 

Working together came so naturally for them too, as if each one was an irreplaceable piece of a puzzle that matched together perfectly despite their differences.

 

“Damn, that was a really good one, y’all!” the drummer proudly commented as another song came to an end.

 

“Which one do you wanna play next, guys?” the guitarist asked, a big smile on her face.

 

“Kids With Guns.” Murdoc said simply. They all agreed and got started. Truth here is that he secretly loved the way 2D’s voice sounded in this song, specially during the chorus - although he didn’t like to admit this not even to himself, let alone to other people.

 

During the song, he couldn’t help but allow his eyes to trail over the tall figure in front of him. Even though he couldn’t see his face, he knew exactly how it looked whenever the man was singing. His furrowed eyebrows, his parted lips, the way his facial expression conveyed the emotions of every lyrics he sang. He had always admired him in this way, although he knew -  _ or thought he knew _ \- it was only in a professional way, as if he merely recognised the qualities an ideal frontman should have.

 

The song eventually came to an end, followed by another, and another, until a couple of hours later when they decided it had been a very productive rehearsal and called it a day. They were putting away their instruments and sloppily tidying up the studio over the habitual chit-chat. Everyone was talking, even though 2D and Murdoc were a bit quieter than usual and they all knew why.

 

“I’m gonna go have sum breakfast, guys. Didn’t have any this morning.” the singer commented while making his way to the door.

 

“Breakfast? It’s almost 2pm D, we gon’ order some food for a late lunch now.” Russel replied.

 

He whined at this, having been completely unaware of the time. He wasn’t just hungry, he was also looking for an excuse to get out of the room as soon as possible. “Oh. Fine, I’ll jus’ have coffee then.”

 

“Okay man, we’ll call you when food is here.”

 

After nodding in response, he made his way to the kitchen and poured himself some leftover coffee and reheated it in the microwave for a bit. He took the mug in both hands, cozily warming up his fingers and turned around, only to yelp in surprise when he was suddenly face to face with the person he least wanted to see right now - and stumbled back against the cabinet, almost losing the grip on his mug. Lucky for him, he only spilled a little bit on the dirty floor; no major accidents.

 

The bassist looked at him from head to toe with a look of disgust and chose to ignore him completely, walking up to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of beer. The singer was not very pleased with the look on the other’s face, but also thought it’d be best to just leave it be.

 

Awkward silence settled in, both men avoiding any unnecessary interactions. It was starting to be too much for 2D. He sipped his coffee and turned around to make his way out of the kitchen, figuring he’d feel more comfortable finishing his beverage in the living room instead. Just as he began walking the other way, something caught his attention and he looked to the side to see Murdoc quickly turning his head to the other part of the kitchen, turning his back to him and looking apparently very interested in the pattern of tiles on the wall.  _ ‘Was he… staring at me?’ _ he thought, only to brush it off seconds later and continue his way out.

 

They remained away from each other for the next 40 minutes or so, until their food finally arrived and Noodle called everyone to have lunch.

 

~

 

About 15 minutes in, Russel was sick of the obvious tension between the two. He almost preferred the usual fighting over complete silence. Almost.

 

“Aiight, that’s enough. Can you two stop whatever it is that’s happening between you?”

 

“God, I was about to say something too.” Noodle said mostly to herself, leaning back on the couch as she did so.

 

“There’s nothing fuckin’ happening, ya dumb fuck.”

 

The young woman rolled her eyes at the response. “There’s obviously _ something, _ Murdoc. You’re just ignoring each other! Not even arguing, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“Well, I just figured it’s best to not get the dullard’s hopes up by acknowledging him, ya know.”

 

The singer nearly choked on his food. “WOT? The fuck are ya talkin’ ‘bout  _ ‘hopes up’?” _

 

“They aaaaalways come back fer more. And jus’ like all of ‘em, ya loved it.”

 

“I did NOT. Yer fuckin’ horrible at it, by the way. It wos disgustin’.”

 

This seemed to really set him off. Murdoc set the bottle of beer back on the table, glaring at him.

 

_ “Excuse me?!  _ Are ya callin’ ME disgusting? Ye fuckin’ idiot, yer gonna regret sa--”

 

Before he could lunge at the bluenette, both Russel and Noodle jumped forward to hold him as he squirmed in anger, yelling at the frightened singer who was now slowly scooting further away from his reach.

 

“Stop it, Murdoc, or you’ll regret this!” the guitarist said.

 

“He deserves it!” he yelled back, still trying to set free from them, even though it was clearly useless to even try.

 

“You started it! Now I won’t say it again.  _ Stop.” _

 

He gritted his teeth, but slowly stopped struggling and sat back down, hands tightly curled in fists. Noodle gave him one last warning look to make sure he wouldn’t try again as soon as they let him go. He let out a frustrated sigh and relaxed a little, his body language showing that yes, he was pissed off, but not about to attack anyone anymore.

 

Everyone gradually went back to eating lunch in silence for a few minutes until Russel spoke.

 

“You two, please make sure you’re not throwing a fit or clawing at each other’s throats on Tuesday at the photo shoot. I don’t want us to make a scene and be anti-professional, ya dig?”

 

“Shit, I forgot about the photo shoot.” the singer complained, his hand rubbing his face and moving up to run his fingers through his hair. He knew there would be one soon, but in his mind he was pretty sure it would be more than a week from now.

 

“You forget everything, man.”

 

“Sorry.” It was true, anyway. He forgot about the rehearsal that morning as well, so there wasn’t much he could say in his defense. Thankfully he’s not a solo artist, otherwise his manager would practically be a babysitter to him.

 

The bassist decided not to respond to Russel. He knew very well that there’d be a photo shoot in four days. It has been haunting him since the night before, after that damned game they played. He knew he would have to muster all his focus so that he would still look amazing in the photos, as usual. But it did bother him that he would have to take group shots and probably be close to the singer in a few of them, which is the part he was dreading the most.

 

After their lunch ended, they all parted ways and the satanist grabbed yet another bottle of beer and went to his room. Half the bottle was emptied even before he got inside and he knew he would need something stronger to try and control the stupid reactions his body was having. Ever since that morning when they were at the studio and he had to hear the lame jokes about him and the dullard from his band mates, he had been getting these other...  _ symptoms  _ besides the usual anger. His heart beats would go slightly faster, barely noticeable but still bothersome, and he’d feel a bit hotter as well. He fought the need to remove his shirt during the rehearsal despite it being extremely common for him to do so. He also fought the images from the night before at the mention of the blue-haired man, which only got worse when he actually got into the studio - his hair, he noticed, was disheveled just like it was yesterday after they parted.

 

Now, lying sprawled on his bed, empty bottle of beer forgotten on the floor while another, stronger booze was burning down his throat, Murdoc was again being plagued by the events that took place the night before. Although he really didn’t want to admit it, part of him knew that while the dare was happening, he was, in fact, enjoying it. He enjoyed the softness of those lips, the taste of his mouth and how smooth his skin was under his touch. The texture of his hair, the quiet but alluring sounds he was making.

 

And there he was, thinking about it again. Angry and confused, he chose to finish his drink faster and enter a state of mind in which he could erase all thoughts and memories from his conscience. Fuck meditating, when you can have a fuckton of alcohol to do the job, right?

 

He proceeded to down his poison of choice in hopes of blacking out until morning comes.

 

~

 

It was early afternoon on the following day when Russel was in the kitchen cleaning up some of the dirty dishes from lunch while 2D tried helping him as best as he could by putting some stuff away. Noodle had left to have lunch with a friend of hers and Murdoc was nowhere to be found, so it ended up being just the two of them.

 

“Yo D, can you dry some of these? There’s no more space in the rack anymore and I’m washing stuff from two days ago here.”

 

“Sure.” he said, while moving away from the cabinets to stand next to Russel by the sink.

 

“So what’s the deal with you and Murdoc this time? Still mad about the dare thing?”

 

“Well, yanno how Muds is.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I didn’t know it would last that long though, know what ‘m sayin’?”

 

“Ugh. I don’ know Russ, that dare thing was jus’... weird. I’m… I’m okay  _ now _ I guess, but knowin’ Muds, he’ll be angrier for longer than I will.”

 

“I know, yeah. But still, sorry if it caused more trouble than it should have. It wasn’t my intention, y’know?”

 

The singer smiled at Russel. “Heh, I know Russ, don’ worry. It’ll be fine.”

 

The pair became silent for the next 10 minutes or so, working together to make the kitchen look somewhat less gross. At some point, 2D stopped drying up the dishes and went back to organizing the rest. He picked up the unused veggies from the counter to store them back in the fridge, only to pause as soon as he found some room for them in one of the shelves. 

 

He had a puzzled expression on his face while looking inside. “Um… Russ?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why is there a sock inside the fridge?”

 

“A  _ what?” _

 

“A sock.”

 

“Inside…--?”

 

“--Inside the fridge, yeah.”

 

“The hell if I know! Take it outta there!”

 

“‘M not touchin’ it!”

 

“D, I’m busy here! You can’t just leave it there!”

 

“But it’s not mine!”

 

“Well it’s not mine either. Probably not Noodle’s either, so it must be Murdoc’s.” he said. “Don’t know why I’m not surprised.” he muttered that last part to himself.

 

“Then he’s the one who should take it!”

 

“Well, he’s not  _ here, _ and we can’t leave it th--”

 

As if on cue, he was cut off by the sound of the front door slamming open and then shut, followed by footsteps approaching the kitchen. The two of them looked in the direction of the kitchen door and soon enough, a piss-drunk Murdoc appeared tightly clutching a bottle of what appeared to be rum in his hand.

 

“The fffffuck are ya lot starin’ at?” he said while wobbling in his feet.

 

“Tch. Of course you’d be shitfaced like that.” Russel said.

 

“Excuuuuuse me? Who the hell do ya think ya are, huh? Y… Ya piece of… sssshit!”

 

“Oh no one really, just the fucking one tryna to, I dunno, keep this fucking house from crumbling into a mess of disgusting trash and…”

 

“... and stuff like socks inside the fridge.” 2D completed, earning a completely confused expression from Murdoc.

 

“I--  _ hic, _ I dunno wot yer sayin’ but I sssstill don’ like it so… so fuck off, faceache!”

 

With a deep sigh, the singer reluctantly took a step in his direction, his arm extended towards him. “Muds. Can ya give me that bottle?”

 

“Yer not takin’ my rum, fuck off!” he yelled and tried making his way around the bluenette, which proved to be incredibly more complicated than it should, due to how highly intoxicated he was. He hit the side of his hip against the corner of the table, lost his balance and ended up on the floor. A loud crash sounded through the kitchen, the bottle now shattered to pieces and the small amount of rum that was still left inside was now beginning to mix with what appeared to be blood.

 

Both 2D and Russel rushed to his side, yelling due to both anger and concern. Upon inspection, they noted he had cuts on the palms of both hands for having landed them right over the shards of glass on the floor. The cuts didn’t seem too deep, thankfully, but they still needed care.

 

“Alright. I don’ wanna deal with this. D, you patch him up while I clean this mess.” 2D wanted to protest but he knew it wouldn’t work anyways. When Russel decided the way things would get done, there was no negotiating - except if the other person is Noodle, of course - so he stood up and went to grab their first aid kit. Luckily, they also had an extra one in the kitchen besides the one in one of the bathrooms, so the singer quickly found it and went to wash his hands before making his way back to Murdoc’s side, kneeling down where Russel had just finished swiping.

 

“I don’ fuckin’ need help from any of ya sods!” the bassist screamed, trying to stand up but flinching when he put his hand down on the floor as a support. “FUCK!”

 

“Shut the fuck up you old bastard!” the drummer replied while picking up the biggest pieces of glass scattered all over.

 

Without saying anything, 2D reached for one of Murdoc’s arms, and the satanist flinched away from his touch.

 

“Don’ ya fuckin’ touch me, idiot!”

 

“Muds. I’m tryna help. I need ta take care of those cuts.”

 

“I don’ need ya ffffer that! I can do it on my own jus’ FINE.”

 

“No, ya can’t. Not without usin’ yer hands.”

 

“Yes I ca--”

 

“SHUDDUP!” the singer yelled at him, finally causing him to stop squirming. “Extend yer arms.”

 

Reluctantly, the bassist extended both arms while mumbling something that no one could hear, and 2D inspected the cuts and removed a couple of glass shards from his hands before getting a clean cloth and gently applying some pressure over the cuts to stop the bleeding, making Murdoc hiss in response.

 

“Didn’t think you’d feel any pain with so much alcohol in your blood.” the drummer said, and ignored the glare he received from the satanist. “Well, I’m mostly done here. That’s enough ‘Murdoc’ for me today, so I’m goin’ back to my room. Good luck there, D.”

 

“Thanks, Russ.”

 

“Hey! Don’ ya two talk ‘bout me like I’m some fuckin’ problem ya need  _ luck _ ta deal with!”

 

“Then shuddup and stop complainin’ ‘bout me takin’ care of ya.” 2D replied, and upon noticing how Murdoc finally began to relax a little, Russel decided it was okay to leave. 

 

The two remained silent while 2D effectively cleaned the wounds and gently applied an ointment to the cuts. It was nice, Murdoc thought, being treated so kindly like this. It was rare for this to happen for him, mostly because he wouldn’t let anyone care for him that way and always tried to patch up his own wounds by himself. It was his first time actually hurting both hands and therefore his first time having someone else do this for him.

 

“Yer good at this.” He let those words escape his lips instinctively before he managed to stop them.

 

Black eyes stared at him in surprise for a few moments before the singer’s face softened and he smiled at him. “Thanks. Learned with me mom.”

 

“Hum.” he said, trying hard to ignore how his heart skipped a beat just by looking at that expression on his mate’s face. He hated the reaction he got and he hated how aware he was it.

 

“Kay. I’ll jus, uh…” 2D said, shuffling around the first aid box. “Ah, here.” He pulled some gauze and started wrapping it around one of his hands. “I’ll cover these and then yer good.”

 

Murdoc couldn’t say anything anymore. He observed those hands expertly taking care of him, the warmth from his touch. But most of all, he observed how close they were. His eyes travelled from the singer’s hands up to his face and he noticed how his forehead wrinkled just slightly from being so concentrated at his task. He noticed how his blue hair partly covered his eyes, specially on that angle.

 

He suddenly jumped when he noticed his eyes shifted very subtly and even though he couldn’t distinguish his pupils, he  _ knew _ 2D was looking up at him now.

 

“Wot?” 2D asked him, still holding one of his hands even though he had just finished with them.

 

“Uh, nothin’, I jus.” he paused for a moment, and part of him really wanted to extend this moment just a bit more. The other part of him wanted to stand up and get as far away from the idiot as he could. “Can I get a fag?” he asked almost without thinking.

 

2D was confused at his behaviour. He wasn’t usually this polite to the point of actually  _ asking _ for something instead of demanding it. 

 

“Sure. Oh, I mean, are ya sure? Ya shouldn’t bend yer hand now.”

 

“Oh. Right.”

 

“Um. Unless I… Well, I can light it up fer ya.” he said, reaching for the lighter and the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He took one of them.

 

“Uh, Muds?”

 

This seemed to pull him out of some trance. “Huh?”

 

“Jus’... Open yer mouth a bit.”

 

“Oh.”

 

2D extended his arm and placed the fag between his parted lips. It was kind of unnecessary, actually. Murdoc could hold a cigarette in between his index and middle finger without bending his hand, but this thought didn’t cross their minds. 

 

The singer could feel a tightness on his chest as he remembered how he kissed those same lips two nights before and how weird this entire situation was. The tension between them was so obvious, you could almost physically feel it. After lighting it up, the bassist brought his bandaged hand up, took a deep drag and held the cigarette, just now realizing he could actually hold it just fine.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Sure, Muds.”

 

The bluenette stood up, helping Murdoc up as well, and turned around to put the first aid kit away while still talking to the satanist.

“Um, uh, so ya should be fine now. Lemme know if it starts bleedin’ again. Oh, and tell me if yer skin gets all warm around the cuts or swollen, yanno, those things. Jus’ gotta make sure they don’ get infected. I think ye’ll be fine tomorrow tho.”

 

When he turned around once again, he found himself alone in the kitchen, met with nothing but silence.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading! Please leave comments and feedback so that I can improve.
> 
> By the way, this is my second fic! If you haven’t already, you’re welcomed to check out my other 2doc fic, I Wanna See You. Thank you!


	3. The Photo Shoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments, kudos and views!!

 

 

 

 

“Alright gentlemen,” a tall young man with brown hair and green eyes looked at the three men walking into the photography studio, and then at the young woman next to them with a smile gracing his lips as he continues “... and miss Noodle”. Her overprotective fathers all eyed him up and down, not enjoying the special attention he was giving their guitarist. She smiled back at him, only making them all more tense.

 

“Please follow me. We’re gonna get you guys ready for the first batch of pictures. Amy, the photographer in charge, will begin with the individual pictures, if you don’t mind. She’ll start with whoever is ready first, okay?” He said, while leading the way from the reception area to the dressing rooms.

 

“Yeah, yeah. You, uh… Yer Roger, right?”

 

 _“Robson,_ Mr. Niccals.”

 

“Whatever. Got any booze in the dressing room?”

 

“Uh, well, we usually offer tea, coffee and water… Nothing alcoholic, sir.”

 

“Well, make it happen, will ya?”

 

Noodle swiftly interrupted. “Please ignore Murdoc here. You don’t have to get him any alcohol, we’re fine with coffee and tea.” She said kindly, before changing her expression entirely when looking at the bassist again, shooting daggers at him. “ _Right,_ Murdoc?”

 

“I never agr--”

 

It was now Russel’s turn to jump in. “Listen, man. What did I tell you guys the other day?” he asked, but continued after a short pause, not giving him the chance to retort. “ _Be. Professional._ Got it? For the band. You can have your damned booze when we leave.”

 

Murdoc’s mismatched eyes darted from Russel to Noodle a few times, then landing on the now anxious assistant photographer, before scoffing and walking inside the dressing room, mumbling something with the words “shitty place”. He knew he should’ve brought his own flask.

 

Noodle sighed. She was used to putting up with his shit, yes, but it didn’t make it any less exhausting. Her eyes went back to the man beside them and she smiled politely. “I apologise in behalf of Murdoc. Please ignore his poor behaviour, Mr. Robson.”

 

“Please, just call me Robson. And don’t worry, I know Mr. Niccals can be, uh, very peculiar.” he replied. “Anyway, as you can see, these are the dressing rooms. When you’re all ready, I’ll be just here down the hall.” he smiled back at everyone as he finished speaking, before bowing slightly and moving along the hallway.

 

~

 

The pictures were coming out better than they were expecting. Their outfits changed a couple of times, from casual to chic, all of them being handpicked to match their individual styles while also maintaining a harmony between themselves. It was now turn for the fancy-ish clothing, everyone wearing black or dark gray colours paired with metallic champagne.

 

Noodle was stealing the scene with her high-waisted metallic shorts and her long-sleeved black crop top and flat, knee-length black boots. To complete the look, peach-tinted sunglasses and matte black nail polish. The boys were very stylish too, in their own unique ways. Russel was very charming with a champagne-coloured button-up shirt - which had a few top buttons undone - and a graphite vest on top decorated with a fancy copper chain, dark gray coat and matching pants and shoes.

 

In contrast to him, Murdoc had a whole different look. His dark gray button-up shirt was purposefully disheveled, half of it unbuttoned, while some others were buttoned wrong. Pair that with dark gray pants and cuban-heeled boots, a crown and golden pinky fingernails and that was definitely a sight to be seen. Last but not least, 2D was wearing a graphite tank top with a metallic champagne-tinted tie and black shoes, black faux leather pants with a coppery belt and same-coloured fingernails.

 

After they were all done taking the individual pictures, they started on the group ones. Amy, the black-haired, hazel-eyed photographer, was directing the poses for each one of them, while taking multiple shots and giving tons of compliments for encouragement. She paused for a moment after some time, switching the camera lenses and adjusting a few settings while she spoke.

 

“Alright, you guys are doing great. I’d say we’re close to being done, I just have a few more ideas for poses that I’d like to try out. Are we ready for the next one?”

 

They all agreed, walking back to the center of the studio as the photographer directed the positions for each one of them.

 

“Okay, for the next one, I wanna try uh, Russ--” she looked up from her notepad to the drummer. “Could you stand on the left side, body facing that way? Let’s see then… 2D. Stand next to him. You guys stay back to back, okay?”

 

She waited for them to settle, before looking to the bassist. “Nice. Murdoc, stand next to 2D, facing him… And then Noodle, you stand next to Murdoc, and the two of you will be back to back, just like Russel and 2D, is that okay?”

 

“No, it’s not okay.” the satanist replied. He had been going in the direction of the group but stopped in his tracks when he realized he’d have to be so close to the singer.

 

Noodle sent him an angry stare, warning him. _“Murdoc…”_

 

“Um, pardon me Mr. Niccals, what is the problem?” Amy asked, concerned.

 

 _“The problem,_ Miss Amy, is that I don’ wanna be next to that _soddin’ idiot.”_

 

2D looked at him, annoyed but also hurt at those words. Even though they had a nice moment days ago when 2D took care of Murdoc, the bassist had decided to get angry at him all over again as soon as he sobered up back then, like a damn rollercoaster. “Well I dun’ wanna stand next ta ya either, but I’m _professional!”_

 

“Ha! Professional my arse. Fuck that, I’m not doin’ it.”

 

Russel was experiencing exactly what he wanted to avoid when he warned them about the photo shoot yesterday, but he didn’t have the strength to argue anymore. He stood in his place, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, just hoping for this to come to an end soon.

 

The guitarist, on the other hand, didn’t want to let this poor behaviour slide. She placed her hands on her hips, glaring at the two, but specially at Murdoc.

 

“You _are_ doing it. You’re going to do it _just like Amy said,_ hai?”

 

“Uh, miss Noodle, it’s okay, we can skip this one, no prob--” the photographer tried suggesting.

 

“No. You thought about those poses for a reason. You are the creative mind behind this and you know what is going to look nice. We trust your judgement.” she said while looking at her, before turning to the pair once again. “And we _will_ do this one as well. _Agreed?”_

 

Before they could answer, she stepped closer to Murdoc and continued in a tone that was quiet enough that only her band mates would hear. “Also, I’d like to let you guys know that I have a very interesting picture on my phone that I took while you were doing that dare…”

 

The pair froze. “W-wait, what do ya mean pict--”

 

“You know _exactly_ what I mean. Don’t worry, no one has seen it so far. But if you don’t behave like normal people, I’ll show it to the entire studio.”

 

“Yer bluffin’.” the bassist said, even though he was not feeling very confident about his own statement.

 

“Oh, am I? You wanna try me?”

 

Her eyes were on fire. Clearly, she’d had enough bullshit these two past days and her patience should not be tested any further.

 

Both men shaked their heads hesitantly, to which she replied “Good.” and moved back to her place. Murdoc mumbled something about his role as a band leader apparently not being relevant anymore, which everyone ignored. The others all went to their positions as described earlier by Amy. Russel, his body facing left, then 2D with his body facing right. Murdoc, facing left, and finally Noodle, facing right. All standing very close together.

 

“Well… Okay. So, the idea here was that you guys would stay in those places, but as usual you’re free to play around with each other, touching, pulling, leaning on shoulders, anything. Just best mates having fun, got it?”

 

 _Best mates._ It was too awkward now to imagine them all getting along so well (specially after that awkward moment merely seconds ago), but in essence, yes, they were in fact really very close to each other. Relationship-wise and, now, distance-wise too. 2D couldn’t help but think about how close his whole body was from Murdoc, their faces so near, they could feel each other’s breaths.

 

The poses started a bit stiff at first, the gang not really knowing what to do after the little embarrassing situation they just had experienced. But soon enough, they started relaxing a little, and Amy’s encouragements helped them pose with more ease.

 

Both Murdoc and 2D tried as best as they could to not interact which each other, which proved to be quite hard. After some time, the singer reluctantly lifted his arm and hooked a finger on one of Murdoc’s belt loops. It should’ve been playful, just for the sake of the photo shoot. But no, it was just plain _weird._ Oddly enough though, the bassist didn’t protest as he was expected to, specially after throwing a fit about standing next to 2D.

 

They stared at each other in complete silence, frowning but unmoving, until suddenly a loud noise echoed through the building and the lights went off, leaving them in complete darkness. Exclamations of annoyance and hurried instructions were heard as the staff tried to find their ways around and find out what had caused the blackout.

 

But the pair remained there, in that same pose, looking in the same direction even though they couldn’t see their eyes anymore. Somehow, they knew the other was still holding their gaze. Murdoc lifted his hand and grabbed 2D’s tie, lightly tugging at it, and their breaths mingled between them as they leaned in slowly. The moment when the side of their noses slightly touched, they gripped each other tighter, both wanting this so bad but afraid of giving in again, afraid of what this might mean for them. Having been forced to kiss because of a dare is one thing; consciously and _soberly_ deciding to do it is an _entirely different_ situation. Seconds passed by with them like this, their mouths less than 1 inch apart while a battle played inside their minds as they tried to decide if they should do what they subconsciously desired to.

 

And then, their lips finally touched. Very delicately at first, freezing in place for just an instant, checking to see if the other would pull away. When neither did, they pressed harder, parting their lips to slide their tongues together, moving in a very slow, lustful way, tasting every corner of each other’s mouths.

 

Sadly, the secretive kiss came to an abrupt end mere seconds later when all of a sudden the lights came back on and the pair parted hastily. Fortunately for them, everyone in the room had to adjust their eyes to the sudden brightness in the studio for the first few seconds, giving them just enough time to move apart without looking suspicious.

 

Together with the light, also came realization on what they’ve just done. It wasn’t planned, again, but it just happened. Again. _‘What the hell is going on?’. 'What did I do?'._ These thoughts kept repeating over and over in their heads as their widened eyes avoided each other at all costs.

 

After an exaggerated apology from Amy and the rest of the staff, the photoshoot continued for about 15 more minutes of group shots until it was declared a very productive day. Everyone checked the raw images on Amy’s camera and surely there were some really amazing pieces in there.

 

Satisfied with the results, the crew thanked them for their work and after changing back into their normal clothes, left the studio to go back home. The ride home was uncomfortable, but in a different way. 2D and Murdoc were too confused to express anger at each other, so they preferred the traditional avoidance instead.

 

But most of all, their minds couldn’t help but wander back to that brief, secret kiss.

 

 

 

 


	4. The Pub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's one more chapter, yaaayyyyyyyy :)
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading! btw, your comments make me so happy, you have no idea. <3

 

 

 

 

Three days have passed since the photo shoot. Things were relatively okay with everyone in the band, the atmosphere certainly lighter although not perfect either. The singer and the bassist went from complete avoidance to very limited conversation which, by their standards, was already an improvement. Throughout these last days, they would catch each other’s stares as well as be caught staring, to their dismay. They didn’t want to, but as soon as they stopped trying to actively ignore the other, their eyes would naturally find their way to their mate like a magnet.

 

By the looks of it, even though they were dared to make out that night, it seems like the real dare was to try not to allow it to happen again. Apparently, it was proving to be harder than they would’ve thought.

 

With that in mind, and with a growing need for distracting himself, 2D decided to suggest something to the group while the crew was having some chinese take-out for lunch.

 

“So, I wos thinkin’...”

 

The satanist looked up, instinctively wanting to make some sassy remark but then remembering he wanted to have less interactions with the man. He went back to eating his meal, frustrated that he let such a good opportunity to make fun of the singer slip through his fingers like that.

 

“I think we could go out tonight. Yanno, to a pub or sumthin’. It’s been a while since last time we did that all togetha.” he suggested. _‘Plus, I really need a bird’_ he added in his head.

 

“Yeah man, I’m down for that!” the drummer agreed. He wasn’t extremely into nights out of any kind, but even he was missing doing that with his friends.

 

“Hell yeah! I’ve been wanting to do that with you guys for so long. You have let me down, you know.” Noodle added. She was 21 years old already, so it's been a few years since she's turned legal age and she really wished they would be doing that more often. She would go out drinking and dancing with other friends every now and then, but she wanted to do it with her band mates more than anyone else.

 

“We’ll make it up to ya tonight then, Noods.” the bassist grinned. He too really needed to go out and find a few hot women to get his mind off _other things._ But he was a little surprised at himself for not being the one to suggest that, or at least for not simply going out on his own. Was he losing his way or something?

 

They went on talking about the plans for the evening, naming a few choices of places to go and remembering past occasions when they did this together and all the shit they’ve been through, as well as the good times they shared.  

 

When the night came, the group headed to a pub not too far away from their home called _The Lagoon._ It was perfectly in-between everything. Not too big, not too small. Not too cheap, not too fancy either. But it was certainly a very special place known for its very good music and its carefully handpicked artsy decoration. It also had a VIP area, which was specially good for them. Not that they didn’t like hanging out with everyone else - quite the contrary, actually. But if things got too frantic, it was nice to know they had a private place to go to. As they knew all too well, some fans could be a little… extreme.

 

Upon arriving there, they were greeted with everything they hoped for. Incredible music and atmosphere, beautiful cheerful people, great food and plenty of booze. They had called the owner in advance (she was a friend of theirs, after all) and reserved the VIP area for them, just in case. Instead of going straight there though, they chose to be in the common area, where they really intended to be for most of the night.

 

Of course, they were soon spotted by a couple of fans, who ended up drawing the attention of a lot more people. After a solid 20 minutes of taking pictures with them, the frenzy started dying down. The fans had their pictures already on social media, and the other customers were either not into their music or didn’t know them at all.

 

They moved to the bar to get a few drinks, first and foremost. They were having fun, talking and laughing, all four of them. 2D and Murdoc were actively participating and even engaging in some conversation, but they kept their distance, sitting as far away from each other as they could without being too weird.

 

“Um, hey.” A lovely voice called 2D, who turned around to see a gorgeous woman, probably around 25, smiling at him and lightly biting her lip. She was tall, slightly curvy and had light blonde hair and deep, dark brown eyes. Her very tight, blue dress fitted her very well and showed off a beautifully-made tattoo on her shoulder: flowers and birds in an intricate, stylized dot-work drawing.

 

He admired her figure, a smirk naturally spreading across his lips as he replied.

 

“‘Ello, darlin’. Wot’s yer name?”

 

“Emilia.”

 

“Lovely name. I dun’ think we met earlier, did we?”

 

“Oh. No, not really. I saw a bunch of people freakin’ out around the four of you but sorry, I guess I don’t--” she started saying, a little bit embarrassed she didn’t know them.

 

“Don’ worry, luv. Ya don’ hafta know us. I’m Stuart, by the way. Nice ta meet ya.” he said while delicately taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on top of it. She blushed at the gesture. Did people really still do that? It was sweet anyway.

 

They moved a little to the side and engaged in conversation for a few minutes and soon enough she was leaning onto him, touching his arm, smiling and giggling at the things he said. He wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her closer, in between his legs, sweet talking the hell out of her.

 

The bassist, on the other hand, got instantly pissed of as soon as that woman approached 2D. He observed the two every few minutes, trying to get himself to ignore the two even though he was actually attempting to listen to their conversation. Still, a few minutes in, two women approached him at the same time. Two brunettes, one with short hair and light green eyes, the other with long hair in a ponytail and hazel eyes. He grinned at them and was soon distracted, one arm around each waist.

 

Russel and Noodle, at some point, decided to get closer to the live band that was playing in the other section of the pub that was a bit more crowded. They were very talented, so it was really enjoyable to watch them as both of them sipped from their beers and swayed to the music.

 

The night went on like this, with both 2D and Murdoc making out with their respective women, but secretly getting jealous and annoyed with one another. Every time they saw the other, they would get more annoyed and start grabbing and making out harder with the women around them. Eventually, Murdoc went a bit too far in trying to prove whatever it was he was trying to prove, and the women around him got angry, shoving his hands away and ditching him.

 

2D, on the other hand, kept breaking the kiss and stealing glances to the other side of the bar where Murdoc was, and as soon as the commotion happened, he was looking at the scene yet again. Emilia, of course, noticed the behaviour and was not very pleased.

 

“Okay, that’s it for me! Like, I don’t know what the fuck you two are doing, but I _don’t_ wanna be part of some weird _competition_ or whatever this is.”

 

“No wait, Emily, that’s not--”

 

“ _Emilia._ And fuck off.” she spat and walked away from him.

 

He let out a frustrated sigh and turned to face the bar again, ordering more booze. He couldn’t help but notice out of the corner of his eyes that Murdoc was staring at him and probably enjoying to see what had just happened. He chose to ignore and drink his sorrows away, since distracting his thoughts with a bird didn’t seem to be an option.

 

A while later, the live music came to an end and the singer thanked everyone, introduced their band and a playlist started smoothly after.

 

“Oh that was awesome! Those guys are pretty good!” Noodle exclaimed happily, turning to Russel as both of them slowly walked away from the crowd that was still surrounding the small stage.

 

“Yeah damn, that was wicked!” he replied. “Too bad those two morons missed it.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

The drummer nodded and continued “Nahh ya know what, they seemed to be having a damn good time anyway” he said while laughing softly.

 

“Hai. They’re probably heading home with those girls by now. Wanna stay here longer though?”

 

“Yeah yeah, I guess we can stay a bit longer before heading out. Drinks on me now, babygirl.”

 

“Ohh I that’s good to-- _Oh damn.”_ she stopped walking midway, her expression changing from happiness to something between confusion and worry.

 

“Wha--?” Russel began, but followed her stare to find the bar where they were before. They were expecting to either see the making out sessions still happening, or to not find them there at all anymore. Instead, they were met with a very gloom-looking pair as 2D and Murdoc still sat far from each other but now with no women around and were apparently drowning their sorrows in alcohol. Judging by the state they were at, they were beyond the amount the alcohol they would usually handle.

 

“Shit. Guess we’re goin’ home then.” Russel said, now back to walking in their direction again. Noodle agreed and followed behind, approaching Murdoc while Russel was already talking to 2D. It was a bit of a struggle but they managed to get everyone to a taxi and go back safely home. To some extent, at least. The road was a bit bumpy and the driver had to pull over a few times so that they could shamefully puke over the sidewalk - mostly 2D, as Murdoc could hold his liquor better.

 

After finally arriving, Russ helped 2D to his bedroom safely, removing his shoes and leaving a bucket and a glass of water next to his bed, along with some pills. He then went to see if Noodle needed any help with the satanist and soon heard his angry mumbles and the guitarist’s tired replies coming from the kitchen.

 

“Murdoc, put. that. bottle. _down._ You’ve had way too much already.”

 

“Will ya… fffffuckin’ shuddup? I didn’ have nearly enough.” He was clutching an unopened bottle of beer and trying to push Noodle away while she tried reaching for it. The drummer sighed, approaching Murdoc from behind and grabbing the bottle before he could registered that he was even there.

 

“He… Hey!! Give it back! I need that, ya sorry arse--”

 

“Nope. Not gonna happen. Dude, what’s your problem today, huh? I know you’re a drunk fucker by definition but I also know you well enough to see you’re pushing it beyond your limits this time. What the fuck is your problem?”

 

“Ya know fuckin’ nothin’! I can handle it, ya fffffffat piece of--!”

 

“Murdoc.” Noodle interrupted in a warning tone, as she has been doing quite a lot lately. “Calm down, hai?” She waited a few seconds but there was no reply from the swaying bassist apart from his furrowed eyebrows. “So. You said you _needed_ this” she continued, lifting her chin to motion to the bottle of beer in Russel’s hand. “Why? What happened?”

 

It took him a few moments to process her question. “Nothin’... happened. I jus’... need it, okay?” his voice a lot quieter now.

 

“You had quite a lot already. Why more?”

 

“For fuck’s sake, _fine,_ I’ll not drink anymore today, alrrright? Happy?”

 

“No, I’m not _happy._ I’m worried. Is it... because of those girls at the pub?”

 

“Fuck them bitches! Don’ need them. I’m… I’m fffine. Now if y’all nosy idiots will s’cuse me, I’m gonna go ta my room.”

 

“Hold on.” the drummer intervened. “Before you go, just gotta let yo ass know I won’t be here for most of the day tomorrow. I’m gonna visit a friend that just moved to Portsmouth. I’m gon’ go down there in the morning and be back by the end of the day, aiight?”

 

“And why the _fuck_ should I care, huh?”

 

 _“Because,_ I don’t want Noods here to be stressed out all day about handling a dumbass hungover muthafucka tryna kill our singer or something. So I’m warning ya, if I come back to find out that any shit happened to him while I was gone, your nose is gon’ look even more fucked up after I _actually_ break it. Not _fictional_ this time. Ya dig?”

 

Murdoc scoffed at that and added “Yeah, yeah, don’ worry. Not gonna touch the precious fragile dullard, _mother.”_

 

“You better remember that tomorrow.”

 

He just waved him away, mumbling something quietly and leaving the kitchen to go to his room. Even though he was desperately craving alcohol before, all he wanted now was to pass out in his bed and try to push away the images of the bluenette eagerly kissing that _‘stupid girl’_ at the pub. And most of all, he wanted to ignore how deep inside, he wanted to be making out with him even more than he wanted to with those two women earlier in the evening.

 

Back at the kitchen, Noodle sighed, tired. “I’m probably going to have to go out tomorrow too. Groceries and some errands. Didn’t want to say anything to him because I’ll try to leave without them realizing.”

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s best that Murdoc doesn’t know they’re alone here. Just… gimme a call if you need anything, aiight?”

 

The young guitarist smiled. “Don’t worry Russ. You go have a good time with your friend. It’ll be alright.”

 

 

 

 


	5. The Hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! So much going onnnnn
> 
> Btw, I LOVE reading your comments so don't shy away if you wanna say something <3

 

 

 

Next morning around 10:15, Noodle was getting ready to leave the house. Russel had left early and should be on his way to Portsmouth by then. So her plan was to leave and get everything done before the other two were awake, which usually happened from noon to early afternoon. She mentally scolded herself for not being able to leave sooner, but her own hangover slowed things down this morning, even for her who usually woke up before 8.

 

She put on her jacket, put her phone and wallet inside her backpack and headed to the kitchen to grab some fruit to eat on her way. Part of her plan included buying some greasy food on her way back to help with everyone’s inevitable hangover situation, but she needed something in her stomach until then.

 

Getting into the kitchen, she was surprised to find a mop of blue hair from the man who was currently leaning heavily over the table, clutching his head and groaning.

 

“Oh. Toochi, good morning. Didn’t expect to see you up this early, are you okay?” 

 

“Mmm… Morning, Noods. I… ‘m not feelin’ very good.” he said quietly while turning his head slightly, peeking with one eye to look at her.

 

She pulled a chair and sat down next to him, worried about her big brother. He was almost but not quite like a father to her after helping raise her for so many years, even though he wasn’t actually responsible enough for her to think of him as her dad. That role was left mostly to Russel, and even Murdoc in his own weird, protective ways. 2D was like an older brother while she was growing up, and now that she was an adult, she couldn’t help but think about how their roles seem to be switched now, her being more like a big sister to him. Protecting and taking care of him became part of her life, just as she was doing right now.

 

“What is it? Migraine? Or just a hangover?”

 

“Took me pills already… jus’ hungover now I guess… dun’ worry.”

 

She threaded her delicate fingers in his hair, her thumb running small circles over his forehead as she spoke. “Listen… I was planning to go out to get some things done before you guys woke up. Russ is not here today, he’s visiting a friend. We didn’t want to leave you and Murdoc alone like this.”

 

“Dun’ worry Noods, ‘s fine…”

 

“Are you sure? I mean, I could go later but then Muds might be awake.”

 

“Nah, ‘s okay… Really.”

 

The guitarist looked at him for a few seconds, feeling bad for him being in such a bad shape right now. “Well… Maybe it’s just the hangover then. So uh, you should go back to your room and lie down until I’m back. And drink water, you’re dehydrated. If anything happens, call me okay? I’ll try to hurry.”

 

He laughed weakly in response. “Yer worryin’ too much Noods. Go on, I’ll get betta soon.”

 

She hesitated for a few moments before deciding that now was still the best moment to leave the house. When the moody and hungover bassist wakes up, she’ll want to be around, just in case.

 

“Alright then. I’ll be leaving now. Seriously, go to your room. I’ll bring some greasy food for us when I come back. Have some rest, Toochi.” She leaned in to give him a quick kiss to the top of his head before grabbing her backpack from the floor and heading out.

 

The singer listened to the sound of the car engine as Noodle drove away. Ironically enough, right after silence settled in and he was about to gather his strength to stand up, he heard footsteps approaching. Seconds later, a cranky bassist was walking into the kitchen uncharacteristically early.

 

2D tried to make himself as invisible as possible, not really willing to bet on his luck with Murdoc today, specially in his condition. After a small delay, the other noticed him, of course. Mismatched eyes looked him up and down before he turned his head and walked to the cupboard, pouring himself some black coffee. “Ya look like shit.”

 

“I know. Mornin’ to ya too.”

 

A grumble was the only reply. Well, at least he was not angry as he would sometimes be after a night of drowning in alcohol like yesterday. Still, the bluenette figured he should try to stay a safe distance away from him, and went back to the incredibly tough task of standing up. He succeeded in it, at least. Maybe a bit too fast though, as he immediately swayed from a sudden dizziness and his knees gave in. He hastily tried to grab the back of the chair as support, but he knocked it over and saw the cold, dirty tiles of the kitchen floor rapidly shortening the distance between them and his face.

 

Until a dark blur moved in front of him and he was met with a warm body instead of a cold, hard surface.

 

“Dammit, Dents, wot the fuck?” the bassist said, his arms wrapped around his torso while he knelt down on the floor with the singer laying limply over him.

 

“Mmm… sorry…” came the very quiet voice.

 

“The fuck’s wrong with ya, huh?” he asked while adjusting their position a bit better so that he could hold him while sitting upright, at least.

 

“Dunno, ‘m… weak…” he began, but ended in a faint groan while his eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Did ya eat anything since ya woke up?” he asked while he moved his hair away from his neck and pressed two fingers to the side, feeling his pulse.

 

“No… don’ wanna… ‘m kinda mm… sick...”

 

“Yer heart’s beatin’ kinda fast. Maybe it was just a blood pressure drop. Ya probably emptied the hell outta yer stomach last night and got dehydrated from all that booze. Of course, ya also had ta go and try ta stand up real fast, ya moron. ‘s okay, ye’ll be fine.”

 

He brushed some hair away from his face, which was now slightly sweating. “Here, hold on.” he said, before pulling him over to the side to rest his back against the wall. Upon confirming he was securely sitting up, he got up and went to grab a towel, which he dampened with cold water from the sink. He checked the drawers and ended up finding an old nut bar, and took those back to the blue-haired man along with a glass of water.

 

He gave him the water, encouraging him to take a sip, which he did. He then lightly rubbed the wet towel over his face, ears and neck, which turned out to be wonderfully soothing.

 

“Here. Think ya can take a bite at least?” He offered the nut bar, and the singer nodded. Murdoc then opened the package and handed it over to him, who grabbed it despite the frown on his face and took a small bite out of it, chewing very slowly.

 

“If yer feelin’ a bit better, I can help takin’ yer weak arse upstairs. Ya should lie down and rest, yanno.”

 

He swallowed his bite, breathing in and out deep. “Yeah… I think so.”

 

“Alright then.”

 

Murdoc kneeled down by his side, hooking the singer’s arm over his shoulder while he wrapped his own arm around his waist, carefully helping him stand up and go up the stairs. They walked slowly, the singer letting out shallow breaths, closing his eyes for most of the way. Thankfully the door to his room was open, so the bassist walked in with him and gently sat him down on his bed. 2D lied down over the sheets, his eyes closed even though he was still awake.

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

Murdoc left the room, only to come back a couple of minutes later with a poorly made sandwich and another glass of water, which he placed on top of the bedside table, not bothering to bring a plate or even a napkin.

 

“Ya should eat. Gotta put somethin’ in yer stomach to get some of yer strength back, even though ya don’ usually have much anyway. And drink water. As much as ya can handle.”

 

The singer opened one eye to look at him, confused at the unusual behaviour.

 

“Why… are ya takin’ care of me?”

 

Murdoc widened his eyes slightly, as if he just came to realize everything that he was doing. “Uh. That uh, well ya patched me up the other day, so… So now ‘m not in debt with yer arse anymore. Plus, I dunno where Noods is, so that leaves me to it.”

 

“She jus’ left… before ya came in.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“M-hm.”

 

A few moments passed by and the satanist was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do with himself anymore. 

 

“Well then, I--”

 

“Thanks, Muds.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“For takin’ care of me. Thanks.” he smiled at him weakly.

 

“Yeah. Jus’ don’ get used ta it, ya hear? ‘m not yer fuckin’ nanny.”

 

His smile widened a bit and the bassist got flustered at the sight, now really hoping to get out of the room and hide in his own private space. “Anyway, I’ll be goin’ then.”

 

He turned around and took a couple of steps towards the door when he heard a weak “Wait.” Looking back questioningly, 2D continued. “I, um… I know yer not me nanny but… can ya stay a bit? I jus’ don’ like bein’ alone when I’m sick. ‘s kinda sad…”

 

2D was pretty sure he would say ‘no’ and he was ready for that, but he couldn’t help but give it a try. Murdoc was also certain he himself would say no, even though for some reason the words that came out of his mouth were quite different.

 

“Yer not  _ sick, _ yer jus’ weak.” He sighed. “But  _ fine.  _ Jus’ a bit though.”

 

He walked back, ignoring the smile in the other’s face as he came closer to the bed.

 

“Move yer arse then.”

 

The bluenette scooted over, giving him some room while the other man sat down on folded legs right by his side, facing the headboard. They made light conversation about anything that would come to mind, although they had an unspoken agreement about choosing not to acknowledge that second kiss and it was working out perfectly for them even if the tension was clearly there. 

 

So they talked about other things, like how 2D’s mom would sit next to him when he was sick and care for him for hours. Murdoc avoided bringing up his own family considering he clearly never had experienced all this warmth as a child. He would suffer alone whenever he got sick and had to learn how to take care of himself or else no one would.

 

2D was aware that his past situation was not a nice one and he knew the satanist didn’t like talking about it too much, so he didn’t extend the topic for too long either. They changed the subject to their band mates, since the singer didn’t know much about the drummer’s whereabouts except that he was visiting some friend somewhere.

 

“Well I dunno much either. He said an old mate of his jus’ moved to… Southampton, I think. Or Brighton. Ah fuckit, some seaside place.”

 

“Hmm a bit far, eh? Farther than Crawley at least. Heh, I should go back there one of these days.”

 

“Ya think Crawley is  _far?_  Damned ol’ Stoke is far, idiot. Anyway, are ya plannin’ ta go there anytime soon?”

 

“To Stoke?” His furrowed eyebrows complemented the confused expression.

 

“No ya brainache, to  _ Crawley.” _

 

“Ah. Well yeah, maybe. When we have some free time. I’d like ta spend a few days there though, yanno.”

 

“M-hm.”

 

The bluenette then reached over and grabbed the sandwich, taking a small bite. It took him a little while, but he swallowed and was met with expectant eyes. 

 

“‘s good. A bit dry, tho.” He answered before taking another, now bigger, bite.

 

Murdoc took some offense to his comment, although he knew he wasn’t good at anything remotely related to cooking.

 

“Well drink some water then!”

 

He laughed lightly. “Not how it works, Muds.”

 

The bassist stared at him, one eyebrow raised up as 2D happily ate his sandwich.

 

“Yer feelin’ better already, aren’t ya?”

 

He tried to hold back a smile, and without swallowing the chunk he was still chewing, he answer - his mouth full of bread. “Maaaybe.” he replied before stuffing his mouth again with the last piece of the sandwich.

 

It was now Murdoc’s turn to smile, the reaction happening before he even realized it. He leaned in just a bit and placed his palm over his forehead, checking his temperature just in case all of this was something else. “Yeah, yer… fine.” It surprised him for a moment when the singer’s cheeks were now suddenly tinted pink right after his touch. The bassist’s gaze travelled around the other’s face and was eventually drawn to his throat as his Adam’s apple moved slightly when 2D swallowed the rest of his snack.

 

Silence settled in and Murdoc moved his hand to the side to brush some hair away from his face, his fingertips delicately caressing his skin in the process. Eventually, they found each other’s eyes and they both had an urge to close the distance completely.

 

They thought about how amazing it felt to kiss each other those two times, even if both happened a bit too fast for their liking. It left them wanting, though. Lust was building up so strongly inside them that they couldn’t pretend they didn’t want it, anymore. They had hesitantly accepted the desire in their minds, even if the surprise and confusion were still present.

 

But desire doesn’t always mean acting upon it. The intensity of the situation was more than enough to bring them back to reality. The first to give up on his desire was Murdoc, quickly averting his eyes and withdrawing his hand as if skin was burning his fingertips. 

 

2D noticed the abrupt change too, closing his parted lips and swallowing hard. More than anything, he was surprised that if Murdoc had decided to kiss him right then and there, he would not have protested  _ at all. _ Of course, they kissed twice already, but he had excuses for them. The first was just a dare, and he ignored how excited they both were at that time. The second was just an accident somehow, and he didn’t want to think about the meaning of it too much.

 

“Uh… good thing yer... okay. Just uh, jus’ rest, will ya? And drink yer water.” He said, shifting a bit on the bed and getting ready to get up and leave.

 

“Um. Yeah. I will. Thanks, Muds.”

 

“Don’ mention it. I’ll uh, I’ll be goin’ now. Gotta do some stuff.”

 

“S-sure.”

 

The satanist stood up and left, closing the door behind him and going back to his room. 

 

The rest of the day went by mostly uneventful. After Noodle came back, she rushed upstairs to find 2D sleeping heavily and Murdoc locked inside his room. She went to organize some things before setting the burgers, fries and milkshakes over the coffee table in the living room. Surprisingly, both of them came out of their rooms to have lunch together and on the surface, everything seemed fine. 

 

Early that evening, Russel came home exhausted, but glad once he found out nothing bad had happened. He had an early dinner with his friend before taking the train back, so all he wanted to do now was take a nice, hot shower and go to bed.

 

The house was silent as each of the four band members were in their respective rooms, minding their own businesses. Later on, when night came and persistent thoughts wouldn’t go away no matter how hard they tried, a singer and a bassist gave in to inner fantasies. Together, even if they were rooms apart.

 

 

 

 


	6. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a flashback this time! So this is one of the chapters that are going to explain the stuff I mentioned before the first chapter.  
> And then chapter 7 will continue the story from where it paused on 5!
> 
> Thanks for the comments, people! They keep me going :)  
> <3

 

 

 

 

**27th February, 1998.**

 

“I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing ta this.” Stuart says, his fingers running through strands of hair.

 

“Ye’d be crazy if ya didn’t. C’mon, ya know it’s a genius idea.” Murdoc replied, finishing his third bottle of beer. “And I tell ya what, when we’re rich and famous, I certainly will not have ta stop at the third bottle for havin’ no fuckin’ money left.”

 

He raised an eyebrow in response. “Yeah, I really don’ think ya need more than that actually.”

 

They were both sitting at the far corner table of a cheap-looking diner, talking about future plans while drinking beer. In between them laid a mess of dirty napkins and bits of sauces from burgers and fries they’ve had before, which no one from the poorly-paid staff bothered to clean up.

 

“Oh shuddup! I’m sure yer gonna want ta indulge in something when yer rich too. What would it be, huh? If not booze, what? Drugs? Birds? Hell, I’m in for a lot of those, too.”

 

“‘m not desperate, yanno? ‘Sides, I’ve got Paula.” He mentioned this last part with not that much of a confidence.

 

The satanist stared at him in silence before saying. “Yanno wot… ‘m just gonna go ahead and say it. I don’ think ya two lot are even in love anyway.”

 

Black eyes widened at that. “Wot makes ya fuckin’ say that?”

 

“Well I know ya for a few good months now and I think it’s enough time to realize the uh, _dynamic_ between ya two. I bet ya don’ even shag anymore.”

 

“Wot?! Of course we do!” he replied angrily, slamming his fist over the dirty diner table. He hoped for a better impact, although he didn’t apply that much force to it.

 

“Yer a bit too defensive, I’d say. ‘S alright, I won’t judge.” Still, a subtle smirk contradicted his words. “‘m just sayin’, I don’t think this thing will last, yanno. Jus’ bein’ honest here.”

 

It took Stuart a few seconds of thinking about this, his previous anger being replaced with something else - like worry. “Um… we still had that condition, rememba? I said before that if I ever joined yer band, she’d come with me too. It’s… still on.”

 

“Please don’ tell me yer not breakin’ up with her jus’ ‘cause of this stupid promise ya made.”

 

He furrowed his eyebrows at this. Damn, Murdoc was becoming too good at reading him in such little time. It almost felt like they were friends for years, even though they didn’t know that much about each other yet. He sighed, looking down at his dirty plate and poking a couple of soggy french fries leftovers with his fork.

 

“Ok, fine. I… I’m not sure how I feel ‘bout her anymore. Things got weird after...” he paused, looking back at Murdoc. “Well, since the _not-so-accident_ accident.”

 

“Whaddya mean by that?”

 

“My eyes are fuckin’ ridiculous, I told ya that many times already. I lost my two front teeth and have no money ta fix it. I’m embarrassed ta even go out of me house. Pair that with my…” he gestured to the top of his head, waving his hand randomly. “... _unexplainably_ blue hair and ‘m jus’... a soddin’ freak.”

 

“Hey, the blue hair was there before, so don’ go blamin’ that one on me!”

 

Stuart chose to ignore him. “I think she’s not even attracted ta me anymore and just stayed with me outta _pity._ She probably felt bad during that week I was in a coma, yanno, worried and all. And when I woke up… I remember her frightened eyes when she looked at me.” he said, getting lost in his memories for a few seconds before sighing. “I don’ blame her, though. Two pitch-black bloody eyeballs staring back like… like a fuckin’ _demon_ or somethin--”

 

“Okay, stop that! I… _fuck”_ the satanist interrupted. Just in time, a bored waitress came back to finally clean up their table and ask if they wanted anything else. Having no money for more, they asked for the bill and she went away.

 

“Now, listen ta me. I know ya think ‘m jus’ sayin’ this ta take the blame outta me or something. It’s _not_ that. I know what I did and I told ya I’m sorry already, alright? And I fuckin’ suck at apologizing so please jus’...” he gestured something incomprehensible with his hand before giving up, sighing and running his hand through his hair. “What I mean is… I really _do_ think you look uh… kinda... good-looking. Yanno, fer a bloke.”

 

Stuart rolled his eyes at this and got even more annoyed that doing so didn’t have the same effect anymore. However, Murdoc _did_ know him well enough already. After spending so much time pestering the singer these past months and getting countless eyerolls from him, he learned to recognize the other details of his facial expression that gave it away.

 

“And if I may add… I know I’m suspicious ta say it, but ya got a very rock ‘n roll kinda look, yanno? People will love that, believe me.”

 

“I don’ need _fake_ people ta love me. Not a celebrity kind of love. Fuck, I jus’... I want _one_ person ta love me.”

 

“That’s cute… even though I really feel like puking now.”

 

“Oh jus’ fuckin sto--”

 

“--Is that person Paula, tho?”

 

He paused again, thinking about the question. Every time he got asked about her, he had to think this through and it bothered him that he didn’t have the answer right away.

 

“I… don’ know, actually. ‘M not sure if I still want her like that… But I loved her so much before and it’s jus’... weird that ‘m not feeling the same thing anymore, yanno? Could be jus’ a phase I guess. But I still want ta give it one more try. Sides, I dunno, maybe the band can help us have somethin’ else together.”

 

“Jus’ don’ fuckin’ use the band as a couple therapy, alright? It’s not meant for that shit.”

 

“I know, Muds. That’s not wh--”

 

“Wait, wait... wot did ya jus’ call me?”

 

They stared at each other now and the bluenette was a bit embarrassed when he realized what he had just said.

 

“Uh… I think I called ya Muds.”

 

 _“Muds,_ huh? Yanno wot? I kinda like it, actually.”

 

“Ya do?”

 

“Yeah. I guess I gotta give ya a nickname too, then.”

 

“Ya already call me Stu.”

 

“No, another one. Hold on, it’s comin’.” he said while looking at his face and carefully squinting his eyes, making the other a lot more uncomfortable now.

 

“Ha, I know! Are ya ready?” he said, triumphantly.

 

“Not sure if I’ll eva be, but go on.”

 

“2D.”

 

“2D?”

 

“Two. Dee. Yes. Yanno why? It’s brilliant, really. 2. D. From two. Dents… On yer face! Got it?” he said with the biggest smile on his face.

 

Stuart on the other hand, was not that happy about it.

 

“Are ya fuckin’ _serious?_ I jus’ said fuckin’ _five minutes ago_ that I hate me eyes and then ya go ahead and think of a nickname to make fun of them? Yer a fuckin’ piece of shit, that’s wot ya are.” he spat out the words, getting his wallet and throwing some crumpled bills over the table while standing up.

 

“No no no, wait!” Murdoc said, getting a hold of his wrist, which the singer instantly pulled back, breaking free from him.

 

“Let go of me! Forget I eva said yes to yer stupid ideas.” he turned around and started heading to the door.

 

Murdoc was frustrated at such a big turnpoint. After so much dedication put into annoying Stuart for months to get to convince him to start a band together, he got the yes only for it to turn back to a definite no, all in one evening. No, he couldn’t let this opportunity slide like this. He grabbed some money - basically all he had left, although he decided to keep some of it and hurry out of the diner before the lazy waitress came back and found the amount was not enough.

 

He ran outside and instinctively tried finding the characteristic blue hair amongst the people outside. The streets were not too crowded, but not completely empty either, so he looked around, confused that he didn’t spot the blue mop right away. _‘Wait, he’s embarrassed by it’_ he remembered.

 

His eyes went back to scanning the people on the streets, but now with another set of features in mind. Soon enough, he spotted a tall, skinny figure in a hoodie just one block away and ran in his direction.

 

When he was getting close enough, Stuart turned to look behind him, clearly having heard the loud footsteps of the other man chasing him down.

 

“The fuck do ya want? I told ya ta forget all of this!” he yelled at him, never stopping in his tracks. It didn’t work though, as the bassist caught up with him and, when he noticed an alley to his left, he decided to take their matters somewhere just a little more private, taking a hold of the other’s arm and pulling him in.

 

The satanist was shoved away and yelled at, as expected, but he did manage to convince him to eventually just ‘give him another chance’ and ‘just listen to him’. Anyone walking by would undoubtedly assume it was a couple’s fight judging by the ambiguous things they were saying to each other, so they decided to not interfere too much, even though some people stayed at a somewhat close range, just in case it got serious, which wasn’t clear if it would or if they just got it all wrong.

 

“Alright. Hey. _I’m sorry,_ okay? Fuck, I’ve never been one ta apologize and yer makin’ me say it all the time now.”

 

“‘Cause ya fuckin’ ruined my life and now yer _mockin’_ me for it!”

 

He felt another pang of guilt for it. It really did make him feel awful for having done that and he hated the fact that he cared about hurting someone else, even if it was not his intention to do so. “That’s-- Ah, please don’ say that. Ya know I didn’t want those things ta happen the way they did.”

 

“Bollocks! Ya jus’ wish I was okay with them! Ya like the way I look cause ya think it’ll sell well in yer stupid made-up story.” he said, crossing his arms in front of him, his black eyes getting teary.

 

“I… Fuck, listen. I admit this is partly true--”

 

“I f-fuckin’ _knew_ it was!” he said, choking a bit on his words.

 

“Wait, I said _partly._ I also honestly mean wot I said before, uh… ‘bout me thinkin’ ya got a rrrreally pretty face. Bein' honest here. And please stop makin’ me say that, it’s too gay.”

 

He scoffed at the compliment. “I'm not askin’ for it, so don’ bother.” This wasn't the first day Murdoc decided to tell him his opinion on his looks, and he was gradually starting to believe the satanist’s words, even if he didn't agree with them. “Maybe I _was_ handsome before. _Maybe._ Not now. Definitely not now.”

“Are ya honestly makin’ me say it again?”

 

“Ya don’ have to say _anythin’_ again.”

 

Murdoc let out a long sigh and then took a step in his direction. The other noticed this, but decided to wait and see what his intentions were.

 

“Listen… Stu. I won’t call ya 2D if ya don’ want me to. I jus’ thought it was kinda cool, yanno? It’s a cool name for a frontman, we would have ta come up with a new one anyway. ‘Stu’ is nice, but maybe _too nice,_ yanno? But it’s fine, it’s fine. Jus’ please don’ give up on our plans. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s gonna be grrrreat! _We’re_ gonna be great. Ya have an amazing voice, I told ya that before when I first met ya, at Uncle Norm’s… When ya demonstrated that keyboard for me and started singing and all, I jus’ _knew._ I mean, I should’ve checked yer schedule ta be sure ya wouldn’t be there when--”

 

“Ya shouldn’t have even done that _at all,_ Muds. Fuck, I dunno why ‘m still callin’ ya ‘Muds’.”

 

The bassist grinned at him. “Well, maybe ‘cause deep down, ya like hangin’ out with me, huh? And might I add, I think ya believe in our future band. Am I right or am I right? Whaddya say?” his smile widened a bit more before adding “Stu?”.

 

The singer’s mouth twitched slightly, as if holding back a smile too. He took a deep breath and averted his gaze, looking down at his feet instead. It took him quite a while this time, but Murdoc decided to not pressure him, for a change. It was a delicate moment in a difficult decision, after all.

 

“I… I dunno.”

 

“Okay, I'll tell ya wot. Jus’ give it a try for a while. If ya try it and it's not yer cup o’ tea, ya can jus’ leave and we'll replace ya with someone not that great but good enough and as a reward for _tryin’,_ I can even get ya free tickets every now and then when I'm rich and famous!”

 

The bluenette couldn't help but smile at all the silliness. Truth is, he really liked being around Murdoc and he loved music anyways… So why the heck not?

 

“Alright” he began before looking at him again. “Let’s do this. And... ya can call me the shortened version of it. It kinda sounds nice. But  _2D,_ okay? Not Two Dents. 2D.”

  


~

  


**13th July, 1998.**

 

“... So to sum it up, dear Rrrrrrussel Hobbs, we’re gonna have an amazing band with incredibly talented people, as ye’ve seen in that demo we sent ya. And of course, yer skills will add perfectly ta it too. But that’s still, yanno, sorta _easy ta find._ Many great artists out there, I’m sure ya know that. Not easy ta break through ‘s wot ‘m sayin’. So we gotta do _somethin’_ to stand out. Somethin’ no one has eva done before. Bein’ the mastermind behind this, I thought we could create an extraordinary story - and I say extraordinary in the very original sense of the word, mind ya - so anyway, this _extraordinary_ story will draw the media’s attention to us. Adding a bit of spice to our signature dish, if ya know what I mean, _hwa hwa hwa._ It will help us uh, propel or somethin’. And then we’ll _remain_ famous because we’re fuckin’ talented as fuck and that’s wot matters, really.”

 

“It actually sounds a lot smarter the way ya jus’ sold this idea to him now.” the singer added, while Russel was still speechless after Murdoc had told him to ‘trust him’ and ‘hear him until he was done’. Which he confusedly did and was now a bit dazed after the intense monologue that had just happened.

 

“Of course it’s smart, wot’re ya talkin’ ‘bout?”  


“It didn’t sound that smart when ya were jus’ rambling ‘bout making shit up jus’ ta be famous. Could’ve taken me less time to accept it if ya had described it like ya jus’ did.”

 

“It took ya long ‘cause yer dumb.”

 

“‘M not dumb, sod off!”

 

“Yer gonna have ta pretend ya are, anyway.”

 

“Yeah ‘m not sure if I wanna do that.”

 

“Whaddya mean yer not sure? Ya agreed ta it, ya idiot!”

 

“I agreed to the band and… and the idea of that backstory thing, but--”

 

“Then jus’ fuckin’ do it, dammit! _Pretty and dumb,_ it makes sense and it will sell.”

 

He chose to ignore the small compliment and continued. “It’s a stupid stereotype and no one will think it’s funny.”

 

Russel, after observing their dynamic during all of this, suddenly broke out laughing, effectively causing their silly argument to stop and the both of them to turn and look at him.

 

“Damn, you guys are _weird!_ But you know what? I kinda dig it.”

 

“Ya… ‘dig’ it?” Murdoc asked, hopeful but confused.

 

“Yeah! I mean, I listened to your sound from the tape. I think it’s the bomb, for real! And I think the made-up story could help us, yeah.”

 

“Does that mean yer in?” 2D asked him.

 

“Hell yeah I’m in! Just a question though, where’s the guitarist? I’m sure I heard some guitar on that sample y’all sent me.”

 

“Oh, she uh… She couldn’t come.” the singer replied.

 

“Ya mean she didn’t fuckin’ _want_ to.” Murdoc corrected while looking at 2D who just looked annoyed, before turning back to Russel again. “Her name’s Paula and she’s 2D’s girlfriend.”

 

“Ah that’s cool, I mean. It was just out of curiosity, aiight? So, when do we start making some sound?”

 

“Well, we need a place first. I’m browsing some options but it might take a while cause it has ta be fuckin’ cheap as hell. I’ll let ya know.”

 

“Sounds good. What about all that backstory shit? I mean, my backstory is kinda uncommon already. My good friend Del, best rapper I’ve known and nicest person too, he _connects_ with me, as you know already. I’m sure it was an added bonus in my case.”

 

“Sure as hell it was! Possessed white-eyed bloke with insane drumming skills that summons a rapper? That makes our lives so much easier in so many ways, I gotta praise Satan!”

 

“Heh. I bet. Two for one. So I’m guessing this doesn’t leave too much story to add in my case, huh.” he said, laughing softly.

 

“We’re gonna say I kidnapped ya.”

 

“Say wha-?!”

 

 

 

 

 


	7. The White Flag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait! Truth be told, I kinda felt a bit discouraged to continue this fic for not liking it as much as I did in the beginning. This is not my favourite chapter so I paused here and tried rewriting it in a completely different way, only to eventually go back to the original version, making some changes and deciding to post it today.
> 
> I don't wanna leave this incomplete so I'll finish this one way or another. I actually have a lot of other chapters fully written (like, half of chapter 8 and then full five chapters or so after that). I'll do my best, I promise!
> 
> I hope you like this more than I do lol

 

 

 

 

 

A full week has passed since the day Murdoc took care of 2D, and the mood around their house was, as far as they knew, great. Everyone was getting along well, for the most part. Murdoc still engaged in minor arguments with everyone and was his usual cranky self, but nothing that required interventions from others - which, in itself, was progress already. 

 

Even though in the surface things were okay, it doesn’t mean they’re not  _ very  _ different for the singer and the bassist. A lot of tension had been growing between them. Mostly, well, sexual. Nothing else actually happened, but they were very much on the verge of it. Admiring each other secretly and sometimes not so secretly. As in, blatantly staring at one another. 

 

They would praise each other when their band mates couldn’t quite hear them. Nothing too explicit, though still unusual for them - like saying the other looked really good in the pictures of their photo shoot or giving the other compliments in a recent interview during the past week.

 

Whenever they touched one another for some reason, they would make sure the touch would linger for a bit longer than necessary or that the placing of the touch would be just a tad unconventional for mere mates.

 

During one past dinner that week, they were sitting by the kitchen table across from each other when Murdoc’s leg accidentally brushed the inside of 2D’s leg. Eyes met momentarily, only to avert their gazes seconds later. All kinds of dirty thoughts were rushing through their minds whenever those kinds of things happened, but they wouldn’t say anything about any of this.

 

Amazingly enough, Russel and Noodle were both oblivious to all of it. It was like a secret communication for them, as if every stare meant  _ ‘I want you’  _ and every biting of lips meant  _ ‘Fuck, me too’. _

 

Still, neither of them were taking a step further beyond the playful flirting. In part, because they were not sure if they actually wanted to make this any more real than it was, but also because they weren’t quite sure if the other was just joking back or if both actually meant it.

 

 

~

 

 

Today was a chilly day. Not too cold, but the evening breeze would make one shiver when it hit their bare skin. 2D was outside, lighting up a smoke while standing in their small porch when the front door opened behind him. Murdoc froze for a second upon seeing the bluenette, but closed the door behind him anyway and walked up to his side, pulling a cigarette of his own and placing it between his lips. His hands went searching in his pockets, double-checking all of them but never finding what he was looking for.

 

The singer held his lighter in his direction and he gladly took it from his hands.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Sure.”

 

They smoked in silence at first, just two friends side by side leaning over the railing watching the empty street ahead of them. Tension was present again. It didn’t make them uncomfortable despite it being so easy for them to feel overly self-aware around each other lately. They wanted to be close to one another even if it made them anxious.

 

2D looked over to his side at the shirtless satanist who really didn’t seem to mind the coldness of the breeze at all. “Aren’t ya cold?”

 

“Nah. It takes more than that for me to start feelin’ cold.”

 

“Even with this wind?”

 

“Yeah. I’m always warm, this is nothin’ for me.” He grinned, proud of himself.

 

The singer raised an eyebrow at that. “That’s bollocks.”

 

Murdoc turned to look at him again, grabbing his wrist and placing the palm of his hand against his very warm neck. Upon feeling the heat under his skin, there was no denying that Murdoc was being serious. When he noticed the surprise in the bluenette’s face, Murdoc grinned wider than before.

 

“Still think it’s bollocks now?”

 

He shook his head slightly. “Damn Muds, yer  _ hot.” _ As soon as the words left his lips though, the other meaning behind it became very obvious for both of them and the singer blushed furiously while quickly removing his hand from the other’s neck and facing the streets.

 

“Why thank you!” His smirk impossibly wide now.

 

“Shuddup.”

 

After mere seconds of silence, they both burst out laughing, finding the situation amusing in many ways. Things were different between them and it felt nice to actually enjoy spending time with one another. As the laughter died down, 2D looked at him again only to find Murdoc staring back. Their eyes travelled around the other’s face, taking in every angle, every curve, lingering over lips. They were drawn to each other hard, and as time passed it was getting progressively harder to hold back.

 

Still, they stopped. 

 

Lame excuses were said about having to be somewhere else, having vague things to take care of. The bassist’s cigarette butt laid forgotten on the floor as he was walking back towards the front door while the singer finished his last drag.

 

For some reason though, this time Murdoc paused in his tracks, gritting his teeth. His hand around the door knob, gripping it hard. He turned his head and saw the bluenette with his back turned to him, blowing off smoke and putting out his own fag. It was a beautiful sight. The sun had set not too long ago and the stunning colours of the sky made him look so alluring and the satanist knew there was no use fighting his urges anymore. He  _ didn’t want  _ to do this. But at the same time, he wanted this way too much.

 

He strode back in his direction with purpose, a calloused hand taking a hold of his shirt and pushing 2D hard against the wall next to the front door before pressing his own body against his. He ignored the surprised yelp and moved his hand to the other’s face, running a thumb over his lips, eyes glued to them. 

 

“Why the hell am I fuckin’ attracted to ya like this?” he asked in a quiet voice. It was a genuine question. He really couldn’t make sense of this and it pissed him off. The surprise was washed from the singer’s features, being quickly replaced with want. 

 

“I’m asking meself the same thing.” 

 

That was more than enough for Murdoc and he closed the distance, kissing him hard for just a few seconds before 2D broke away for just a bit. 

 

“We shouldn’t be doin’ this, Muds” he whispered, even though he leaned in again for more as soon as the words escaped his lips, deepening the kiss and pulling him closer. 

 

Murdoc parted briefly, muttering a “Yeah I know” before running his thumb one more time over those fascinating wet lips, parting them more. 

 

They laid soft, short kisses against each other’s lips, nipping and teasing. 

 

“Y-yeah we should stop” 2D mutters, leaning in to lightly bite Murdoc’s bottom lip and kiss him again. 

 

“Mm-hmm… ‘s not good for th’ band.” Murdoc points out, before contradictorily kissing him again. 

 

It doesn’t last long, and 2D breaks the kiss but doesn’t move away, whispering against his lips. “Yeah, ‘s wrong, right?”.

 

The thought of them breaking some unspoken rule only made their attraction a lot more intense and Murdoc groaned in response, slamming his mouth against his in a very needy and deep kiss. Their bodies pressed against one another tight, arms wrapping around waists and necks in desperate need. 2D’s fingers found their way into strands of black hair and he tugged at them, gripping the back of his head and pulling him impossibly closer while the other hand raked the tips of his fingernails over his back.

 

Murdoc’s hand sneakily went under 2D’s shirt, his body heat successfully warming him up as he caressed his sides, his stomach and back before moving further down, into his jeans and gripping his ass roughly, pulling his hips and pressing their hardening cocks together.

 

The singer moaned into the kiss, moving one of his hands down as well to grab his ass just the same and pull him more, revelling in the feeling of their erections touching even if through the layers of their tight jeans.

 

They kept on kissing deep, their tongues tasting each other hungrily, low grunts and moans escaping them. More than a week had gone by with them holding it in, not sure if they should actually act upon their urges and it was so torturing, the feeling had exploded just now. They were clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it, making out while they ground their cocks together.

 

A good few minutes later, they heard footsteps fast approaching from the inside and they broke apart just in time as the front door swung open and Noodle stepped outside. Not knowing how to hide their very obvious erections, Murdoc turned his back to the door, leaning against the railing right before she appeared while 2D stood awkwardly behind a tall-enough vase. 

 

“Uh what… are you guys doing?” 

 

Murdoc just twisted his upper torso to look behind his shoulder to her and both him and 2D answered at the same time.

 

“Jus’ talkin’.”

“Smokin’.” 

 

A short pause, and then Murdoc corrected.

 

“Smokin’ and talkin’.” To which 2D just added an unnecessary “Yeah”.

 

She studied them for a few moments, disheveled hairs and T-shirt hadn’t gone unnoticed by her.

 

The guitarist sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Okay, were you two fighting?”

 

Again, both answered at the same time. While Murdoc thought this would be a good enough explanation for the messy state they were in, 2D just wanted to avoid getting Noodle mad at them. 

 

“Yeah well he deserv--”

“No, not at all--”

 

_ ‘Shit’  _ the bassist thought and tried correcting it again. “Well, nothin’ too serious, luv. We’re good now, that’s why the idiot said that.”

 

She looked over at the singer again, seeking a confirmation to try and decide if this really was okay or not.

 

“Y-yeah, we’re okay Noods, don’ worry. Promise.”

 

She still studied them for a few more moments before deciding that despite this being clearly weird, it sounded safe enough to just let this go. Even though it was becoming progressively uncommon for them to argue at all, whenever they did, 2D would sometimes try to hide it in hopes of not ruining the mood for the other band mates. It seemed like a reasonable explanation for their unsynchronized answers and overall awkwardness and frankly, she didn’t want to get too involved again.

 

“Well, dinner’s ready. You coming?”

 

“Sure, luv.”

 

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute.”

 

The guitarist then nodded and went back inside, not bothering to close the door. 2D began leading the way inside with Murdoc just behind him when he suddenly felt a hand grabbing him by the waist. He froze for a second, feeling a hot breath close to his ear as a wet tongue tentatively licked all around it.

 

He yelped in surprise and Murdoc simply went around him and got inside as if nothing had happened - clearly enjoying the opportunity to tease him in a different way.

 

 

~

 

 

After dinner, the crew settled in the living room to watch a movie together. Murdoc made sure to sit next to 2D on the couch, sharing a blanket and pretty much taking all the space for the two of them. 

 

As Russel was coming in bringing a couple of bowls of popcorn, he started speaking. 

 

“So we doin’ this again.” A gentle smile on his lips. 

 

“What do you mean?” Noodle asked him.

 

“I mean,  _ this.” _ Gesturing with his hand to all of them. “Doin’ stuff together.” 

 

“Yep!” she replied while crouching down and searching everywhere for the remote.

 

The drummer sat down on his armchair to Murdoc and 2D’s right, pulling up a blanket for himself. “It’s nice. It lifts up the moods around here.” He said, glancing at the two men at the couch at the mention of the event.

 

“The hell are ya lookin’ at?” Murdoc snapped.

 

“Nothin’ man, just wondering if, y’know, the two of you got over that little fuss you created that other night.”

 

“Wot are ya talkin’ ‘bout?” 2D asked him.

 

“Ya know what I’m talking about, man.”

 

_ “We’re fine.” _ Murdoc replied, annoyed and not really wanting to have this subject brought up again.

 

“As long as it doesn’t end in yellin’ like  _ last time, _ I’m cool.” the drummer replied.

 

“Ya want some yellin’ now, fat arse?”

 

“Okay that’s enough! That’s not the plan for tonight. It’s supposed to be  _ fun. _ Hai?” Noodle asked, looking at Murdoc.

 

“Waddya starin’ at me for?  _ He _ brought this up!” he replied, his hand pointing to Russel’s direction. “Anyway, fuck that! Are we watchin’ this or not?”

 

“Yes, we are. I invited you all to do it, didn’t I?” Noodle replied while stuffing her arms in between the cushions and finally finding the remote - among other disgusting things she chose to ignore.  She sat on a pillow on the floor, leaning her back against the couch’s armrest, roughly in between Murdoc and Russel.

 

“So why don’ we jus’ fuckin’ get on with this and start watchin’ the soddin’ movie instead of chattin’, huh?” Murdoc replied, a little annoyed even though everyone could tell he was enjoying having some family time too. He failed to notice the smile on the singer’s face as he said that.

 

 

~

 

 

Halfway through the movie, 2D and Murdoc were sitting very close, their shoulders and thighs fully touching, when the satanist then folded his right leg up, his foot planted on the couch and drawing his knee closer to his torso. He rested his elbow over his knee, effectively creating a visual barrier and shielding most of 2D from the other two’s view.

 

The singer was very hypnotized by the movie until his trance was broken by the touch of a warm hand over his thigh, lightly squeezing it under the blanket. He let out something between a gasp and a yelp, and the others looked in his direction quizzically.

 

“Yo, you okay D? That’s not even a scary scene.”

 

“Uh, um y-yeah, I jus’ thought… somethin’ would happen, yanno…” he stuttered out while grabbing Murdoc’s wrist and shoving it away from him, embarrassed at the situation. The bassist managed to keep a straight face through all of this, and didn’t protest the refusal apart from a minor twitch of his eyebrows. He was annoyed for being rejected but wasn’t going to insist. After all, according to one of the main rules in Satanism, he should not make sexual advances unless he was given consent - which he thought he had, but clearly had it all wrong.

 

About 5 minutes later however, the bluenette wouldn’t stop squirming in his seat and had completely lost focus on the movie. His mind kept wandering back to that firm hand and how good it had felt even if just for a few seconds of it. He let out a frustrated sigh and hesitantly seeked the other man’s hand, grabbing it and pulling it back to his own lap, making it slide over the inside of his thigh again. 

 

The bassist didn’t move much except for a small smirk revealing his pointy teeth. He squeezed his thigh and 2D relaxed under his touch, sighing in relief as he slid a bit down the couch to enjoy the very pleasant feeling.

 

His hand slowly travelled up, brushing his fingernails over his crotch through his jeans, teasing the bluenette who curled his fingers tight around edge of the couch. God, that felt so freaking good… but way too slow for the singer’s liking. He grabbed Murdoc’s wrist again, urging him to go up, up, until he reached the very prominent tent.

 

2D breathed out quietly with satisfaction as Murdoc’s hand started slowly rubbing him over his jeans, softly for the first couple of minutes before going a bit harder, wrapping his fingers around his cock as best as he could through the thick fabric.

 

The movie was supposed to be one of 2D’s favourites. It had everything he appreciated in a good zombie flick and it had pretty good reviews from both critics and audience. Despite all of that, he wasn’t giving a damn about it right now, all of his attention being entirely focused on those skilled fingers around his aching cock. 

 

To be fair though, a growing portion of his focus was also being dedicated to not making a single sound. And boy, was that a challenge. Murdoc knew he was struggling with that and it just made everything even more entertaining for him. He was determined to give him a fucking amazing handjob, and proceeded to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans, to which the bluenette made a weak protest trying to hold his hand but not really wanting to stop him. He was mostly worried about being found out but was desperate for it to continue as well.

 

After successfully freeing 2D’s twitching cock, Murdoc ran the tips of his fingers very slowly from the base until the tip, before running his thumb over the precum and smearing it all over his cock. He began to pick up the pace slowly and the singer had to gather all of his strength to not give out any signs of what was happening under the blanket, his knuckles white from gripping the couch hard.

 

A few minutes later, Murdoc could tell he was pretty close, so he carefully glanced at the other two in the room to analyse the surroundings. Upon finding that they were both very focused on the - thankfully loud - action scene happening on the screen, he scooted a bit closer to 2D and, while vigorously pumping his cock, leaned close to his ear to quickly whisper “Go on, pretty boy” and giving his ear lobe a light nip.

 

He couldn’t take it anymore and felt himself thrusting into the satanist’s hand, resting his head against the couch, eyes closed and his own hand tightly clasping his mouth shut as he came,  _ hard. _ Murdoc kept rubbing him as he rode his orgasm until it was over, finally retreating his hand from under the blankets to reveal it completely covered in cum.

 

2D opened his eyes, immediately widening them at the sight. The bassist smirked back at him and went to wipe it on the singer’s shirt, making him jump up in response. 

 

“Hey,  _ wot da fuck _ Murdoc?!” he hissed at him while trying to put some distance between them.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake Murdoc!” Noodle said, annoyed at the commotion but thankfully having no clue what had just happened. Russel merely sighed but didn’t say anything, trying to just focus on the movie. 

 

“It’s his fault!” he hissed back, although he had a hard time trying not to smirk with this whole situation.

 

“Just shut up and watch the movie, kay?”

 

He returned his attention back to the movie, his expression skillfully blank as if nothing had happened while an angry (but also pleasantly satisfied) bluenette excused himself to go to the washroom, trying to hide the mess on his shirt on his way.

  
  


Things were starting to get interesting.

 

 

 

 


	8. The Jump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, a few days ago I posted the previous chapter and told you guys that I'm not suuuper into this story anymore. Part of the reason is also because I had an idea for another 2doc fic which I'm more excited about - but if I start it, I won't finish this one and I don't wanna do that. I always get sad when I read a story I really like and the author is clearly never going to update again. I understand them very well now. It's VERY hard to write something you're not super inspired about, as some of you might know. But I read your comments and I realized that even if I'm not super into it, some people are. So again, guys, I'll do my best for you.
> 
> As I mentioned before, I have a lot of chapters already written. This is one of the chapters that were almost entirely ready. As a gift to those people who still read this and also (specially) those who commented on the last chapter, I decided to finish and post the next chapter way sooner than usual.
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
>  
> 
> <3

 

 

 

 

 

Colourful lights were shining over all of them, the artificial fog adding to the amazing visuals that were carefully put together by the staff. Fans were screaming and singing along, their voices hoarse but filled with excitement to see them live, performing all of their favourite songs. As usual, the band was delivering a five-star show, all of them giving 110%.

 

They were beyond exhausted as it was reaching the end, but their faces had the biggest and most sincere smiles - typical of those who love what they do. And they absolutely did. As much as they would sometimes work on other hobbies or meaningless gigs, they couldn’t see themselves in a non-music-related career for the rest of their lives.

 

It was one of the reasons they all fit so well together. They were at opposite extremes from each other in basically everything. As if they were North, South, East, West. Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn. _Murdoc, 2D, Noodle, Russel._ Almost like those comparisons, they are not complete without one another.

 

They were all in complete synchrony as they finished their last song and thanked the fans before getting out of the stage. Even more in sync was Murdoc and 2D, but for different reasons added to the shared passion for music. It had been a couple of weeks since they started really giving in to their desires and ever since then, they were secretly escaping whatever it was that they were doing at the moment to make out as horny teenagers in hallways, alleys or bathroom stalls.

 

Being secretive only made it even more exciting. They were having almost as much fun sneaking and pretending there was nothing happening than they were with all the kissing, biting, groping and grinding. _Almost._

 

The expectation for their next _escapade_ was consuming a good part of their thoughts during the concert and they couldn’t wait to be alone for at least a little bit. As they exited the stages, stealing glances at each other, they noticed Noodle and Russel going one way and began walking the opposite direction instead, quickening their pace to try and not get noticed.

 

“Yo, where da fuck are you goin’? Dressing room’s _this_ way.”

 

They both froze and turned around to look at Russ who was all tired and sweaty, his drumsticks still in his hands while the crew was carrying his drumset to the back. Murdoc glanced over at 2D before responding.

 

“Fuck dullard, should’ve known ya wouldn’t know the way”

 

“Wot?? But I--”

 

“--Shuddup and let’s jus’ follow Russ here. At least _he_ knows.”

 

The drummer then replied “Well it’s not that hard, ‘s just a fucking hallway, but anyway.” He then shrugged and turned around, expecting the other two to follow him which, unfortunately for them, they did.

 

“So Murdoc, I know you don’t usually care ‘bout personal hygiene too much but please take a quick shower before the after party, aiight?”

 

“Why do ya care?” he replied, a bored look on his face.

 

“Cause I got a damn nose, that’s why.”

 

“Fuck off. I take care of it jus’ fine. Ladies never complain.”

 

“If you say so, man.”

 

 

~

 

 

As desperate as the two were, they were forced to stick to their schedule and get ready for the after party. Which meant, they had to leave their secret meeting for some other time. Until then, they had many guests to interact with and many other things to do to hopefully distract them well enough.

 

Two hours into the party, they were barely seeing each other. Each one of the four was surrounded by people in different groups all scattered around the club that was hosting the private event. Producers, agents, fellow artists, all the staff, some friends from outside the music industry and also other guests from the entertainment industry.

 

2D was drinking and talking to a small group of people - mostly artists he knew, but also a couple of people he never saw before. One of them, a very attractive woman, was very openly flirting with him the entire time. Normally, he would be very into her, seeing as she was just his type. At some point he realized how different his own behaviour was from usual, and it definitely made him surprised. Sure, he’d been having a lot of fun with Murdoc, but they weren’t actually dating and had never said a single thing about being exclusive. So why wasn’t he taking this opportunity right now?

 

Still, he figured, there was no use doing it just for the sake of doing it. If he didn’t feel like pursuing someone, why force it, right? And speaking of the devil, that’s when he saw, from the corner of his eye, the bassist leaning at the bar not too far from where he was standing, surrounded by three very beautiful women. Unlike the singer though, Murdoc seemed to be flirting back. He wasn’t kissing or touching any of them, but it was still painful for 2D to watch it.

 

As if Murdoc could hear his thoughts, right at that moment he looked in his direction and their eyes connected. The annoyance was clear in 2D’s black eyes, and as soon as the eye contact happened, he broke it, excusing himself from the group of people he was talking to and striding off to who knows where.

 

The satanist was quick to notice this. He looked at each of the women around him. “Now if you’ll excuse me ladies, I got a ummm, thing to take care of.”

 

“Aww does it have to be now?” one of them asked. “Something we can… _help_ you with, Murdoc?” another asked quite suggestively and all of them giggled.

 

“Sorry ladies, but I rrrrreally have to. It’s been lovely though.” he smirked at them but ignored their pouts as he turned and walked away, looking for a flash of blue hair in the crowd.

 

It wasn’t as easy as he expected, though. He looked everywhere inside the club, swiftly avoiding other people who would try to stop him to engage in conversation, and still, no sign of the pretty distinctive bluenette. That is, until he decided to go look outside the club, just in case.

 

He went for the side door, one that lead to an alleyway and there he was - leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette. A lamp post was shining a deep yellow light on an otherwise very dark alley, and the difference in hues almost made the singer unrecognizable as the deep blue of his hair was not evident at all right now.

 

“2D?”. The frontman shot his head up upon hearing his name being called, apparently being pulled out of a complicated chain of thoughts. The bassist continued. “Wot’re ya doin’ here mate?”

 

“Jus’ havin’ a fag, why?” he tried sounding as casual as he could, although he wasn’t sure if he had accomplished that or not. The truth is, he was in deep thought about what he had seen and how much it had affected him.

 

 _‘We’re not even exclusive’_ he had deliberated. _‘Why did that bother me?’._ Worst of all, he didn’t even see him touching the women. There were smirks, sweet talking, and the women were surely clinging to him and touching his hair. But he wasn’t actually doing anything physical back to them the way he usually would. It was common to see the satanist putting up quite a show, making out with multiple women at the same time; kissing one while touching and grabbing others, and eventually stumbling out of the party with all of them.

 

None of that had happened so far, but 2D was feeling as if he had been cheated on, despite him knowing they were not in a serious relationship at all. Just fooling around, having some occasional fun. Period.

 

“I dunno, ‘s jus’... Ye alright?”

 

He hesitated a second too long before answering. “Yeah. Why are ya askin’ me that?”

 

“Well I jus’ saw ya before an’... Hell, I dunno, ya jus’ seemed not… good. I saw ya leavin’ so I came ta find ya.”

 

“Well ya found me. And I’m okay. Jus’ smokin’.”

 

They went into a short silence, things seemingly different between them. Judging by their situation lately, at this moment they _would_ be desperately making out. Murdoc thought about this and sure enough, he remembered how much they both wanted this just a few hours ago. Taking a step in his direction, the bassist smiled at him. “Can we share it then?” he said while motioning to the cigarette in his hand.

 

“Don’t ya want one? I have more.”

 

“Nah, jus’ half is fine fer now.”

 

2D took one more drag before handing it to Murdoc, who took it and did the same. He blew off the smoke slowly, his eyes closed as the relief washed through him. He wasn’t in need for one right now, but it certainly did him good.

 

The singer watched him, nervous, still thinking about what had happened inside the club and still trying to play it cool when he started speaking again.

 

“So, gettin’ lucky with those birds, I see? They were pretty hot. Are ya bringin’ them all home or jus’ one? Gotta be hard t’choose.” he chuckled, trying to maintain his eyes on the bassist but he couldn’t do it for too long. As soon as the words left his lips, he averted his gaze and stuffed his hands inside his pockets in a way of trying to hide his need to play with his fingers. It would be a dead giveaway on how nervous he was and Murdoc would be able to tell in a heartbeat.

 

Murdoc did notice his nervousness anyway, though. Specially when he tried bringing up this subject as if it hadn’t affected him at all.

 

Choosing to dodge the question, Murdoc responded to only part of it.

 

“They sure were.” he said, bringing the cigarette once more to his lips.

 

2D looked back at him when he did, his expression blank. The bassist didn’t give him much of an answer to work with, so it was tough coming up with what to say next.

 

“U-um. Can I have it?” he finally asked, gesturing to the cigarette.

 

Instead of giving it back though, Murdoc took one more long drag and looked around before stepping closer to the bluenette. And closer, and closer, until the bluenette had his back against the wall and their bodies were pressed together tightly. Murdoc’s free hand reached for the other’s cheek and their mouths clashed together, a low grunt escaping them both as soon as they made contact. 2D wrapped both arms around the bassist’s neck and pulled him, deepening the kiss. Finally, after so many hours of waiting, they were alone and free to do what they’ve been wanting to, at least to some extent.

 

But then the image of Murdoc surrounded by women made itself into 2D’s mind again and he furrowed his eyebrows and slowed down the kiss before cautiously breaking the contact, arms still wrapped around his neck but slowly retracting.

 

“Um, we -- we should stop, Muds. Someone could--”

 

“Wot? Yer never worried ‘bout that. If someone comes, we jus’ pretend w--” he began, while still pulling him close with his arms around the singer’s waist.

 

“--Muds. Um… Sorry but aren’t ya goin’ ta bring those birds home? Y’know, it seemed like it was goin’ well, so.” he said, again trying his best to act like he was okay with everything. Not just for Murdoc, but for himself. Maybe if he faked being cool about all of this, he could start actually being cool about it.

 

The bassist studied him for a few seconds, searching for something in his eyes. He was a little confused about this too, specially because he noticed how he himself was not so excited about those women as usual. He had even forgotten about them before 2D brought them up.

 

But he wasn’t too worried over the fact that 2D felt more appealing to him than anyone else now. In his mind, the rational explanation was that he was thrilled about his _new toy,_ let’s say. It didn’t mean anything, except that it’s still very unfamiliar and intriguing for him, so he felt like exploring _him_ as much as he could.

 

He had the same behaviour with other things too, such as music, for instance. He listened to many different artists and bands, obviously, but whenever he came across one that he had never heard before and quite liked their songs... Well, he just couldn’t listen to anything else for a while. Not even his favourites. He consumed that brand new sound for some time until it cooled down and eventually he was able to listen to _everything_ again - old and new.

 

“It’s okay. I decided which one t’bring home already” he said, pausing his actions and looking at him to see how he would react.

 

“O-oh. Okay, um. We should head back inside then.” he replied, letting go of the satanist completely.

 

“Y’wanna know which?”

 

“Oh I don’t really remember them too well anyway, so--” he said while trying to casually get away from him.

 

“The blue-haired one.”

 

The singer’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his black eyes staring back into mismatched ones. “Blue…?”

 

Smirking and sliding his hand underneath his shirt, Murdoc pressed tight against him one more time, taking him by surprise and kissing him eagerly. 2D didn’t have that much time to process what was going on but when those hands provided such delicious touches, making his knees weaken and his jeans get rather _tight,_ he forgot he was even worried to begin with. He whimpered and wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him back and biting his bottom lip.

 

Just as they were about to get really into it, a loud noise from the door being yanked open made them jump and put some distance between them.

 

“Oh _there_ you are. What are you two even doing outside?” Noodle stepped out, looking a bit tipsy.

 

Murdoc didn’t reply; instead, he mumbled something about Noodle having the worst possible timing in the world.

 

“Sharing a fag, luv. We were jus’ goin’ back inside now.” 2D smiled and started making his way towards her, Murdoc following behind.

 

“You’re missing the best part! We were dancing just now. I even convinced Russ to dance with me! It was priceless!” she said, laughing happily. “But that was like, half an hour ago I guess. I couldn’t find him anymore, or any of you. I don’t wanna dance alone guys, _please,_ it’s so fun when you do it too!”

 

“Sorry darlin’, I save my sexy moves for concerts and uh, _private shows,_ if ya know what I’m sayin’... _hwa hwa hwah”_

 

“I’ll dance with ya Noods.” the singer replied, causing Murdoc to stop laughing and get annoyed at them both.

 

Some grumbles and talking later, they were all back inside, and Murdoc decided to go grab one more beer while watching the two dance. At some point of the night, he ended up being dragged to the dance floor too. Despite his horrible mood, he was actually a very good dancer and certainly impressed a lot of people, which made him proud and therefore made him have fun even if he wanted to deny it.

 

A while later, 2D and Murdoc were heading to their table while Noodle wanted to continue dancing. The two of them sat down and Russel showed up not too long after that, looking like a mess; wrinkled shirt, lipstick stains around his mouth, neck and shirt collar. They looked at him, not quite expecting to see him in this state as he was usually very discreet with his personal life.

 

“Damn Russ, who did that to ya?” 2D said, giggling at him. The drummer seemed a bit oblivious to his own appearance right now, as he looked a little surprised at the question. Only then he actually realized how... _evident_ it was.

 

“Oh sorry, I uh… I just met dis girl and… _dayum.”_ he said while trying to clean up a bit.

 

“Got lucky huh? Where?” the bassist jumped in.

 

“Uh... parking lot. Her car.”

 

“Musta been quite a bird. Ya usually wait till yer home, Russ.” 2D provoked him playfully.

 

“You know what, she really is.”

 

“Ohhhh someone’s in love. Wot, are ya gonna soddin’ _propose_ ta her now?”

 

"Shut it, Murdoc." Russel replied, and then his eyes wandered to the dance floor where he saw Noodle dancing next to a guy and a girl. “Wait, isn’t that dude--?” Russel began, but Murdoc interrupted. “Fuck, is that the bloke from the photography studio? Robert or somethin’.”

 

“And that girl is the photographer, yeah?”

 

“Wot the hell, did she invite the whole studio or somethin’?” he asked, pretty annoyed at the thought of Noodle with someone.

 

The singer sighed, noticing his anger building up. He felt like protecting Noodle too, but he knew some things were not in their power anymore. “She’s a grown up now Muds. And if she’s anythin’ like any of us, neither the bloke nor the bird would be her first.” 2D pointed out, only to be caught in an angry stare by the bassist.

 

 _“I know,_ faceache, I jus’ don’ wanna _think_ ‘bout it. Dammit.”

 

“Well, I’m going to the washroom then.” Russel excused himself and left. Murdoc immediately scooted closer to 2D, leaning in and speaking to him in a quieter tone, so that other people around them would not listen.

 

“Hey. Let’s go home now.” he said hurriedly, picking up his jacket and finishing his beer.

 

“Wot, now? Without them?”

 

“Of course _without them,_ it’s the perfect excuse now. See, if anyone brings people home, we would never fit everyone in a taxi anyway. And it would be weird if the two of us _don’_ bring any birds with us, right? So I was thinkin’, we go now while they’re not lookin’, and we jus’ text them on our way back sayin’ we shared a cab with some hotties and shit.” he explained.

 

“Huh. So ya thought ‘bout everythin’ already.”

 

“Of course I did. Ya wouldn’t do it, so I had to.” he said while poking his forehead and smirking back at him. He then dropped his hand, his eyes now travelling over the singer’s body. He leaned in a bit and whispered close to his ear. “And I’m tired of forcing myself not to touch ya, yanno.”

 

2D could feel his face blushing and he bit his bottom lip. Without any need for further encouragement, the bluenette gulped down his beer before standing up and grabbing his stuff, along with another bottle of… whatever that was.

 

They hurried out through the side door and made it to the front of the street where a taxi soon pulled over and as soon as they got in, Murdoc texted Noodle. _“Got some birds. Shared a cab w 2D. Tell Russel.”_. On their ride back, they tried their best to stay away from each other, deciding to just share the alcohol, taking swigs from a bottle and urging the driver to go faster.

 

 

~

 

 

Once home, as soon as the door closed, they were on each other like magnets coming together with full force. They made out hungrily against the back of the door, hands finally feeling every inch of each other’s bodies. Every time this happened, their need for one another would progressively increase, as if no matter how many times they kissed and tossed each other off, it was never enough.

 

And truth is, even though they’ve been doing this for two weeks already, that was as far as they had gone. It was unlike them to go this slow with someone else, but this was definitely a different case. They weren’t just someone they would fuck and then never see them again. On the contrary - they would still see each other every single day, live in the same house, work together, travel together, do almost everything together. It wasn’t the same thing for sure, and somehow they decided that making out and giving each other a few handjobs wasn’t _really_ a big deal.

 

But something was different this time. Maybe this was not enough anymore. Or maybe it was the amount of alcohol they had tonight. Maybe something else, or all of the above. Eventually, they stumbled to Murdoc’s bedroom and when they stepped inside, the singer pushed him against the wall and attacked his neck, sloppily kissing and biting his skin while his hand went straight to his crotch, where he began rubbing over his jeans.

 

“Hmmm I sure like it when yer like this.” Murdoc’s hands went to grope his ass while he tilted his head to the side to give him more access.

 

“Mmmm... like wot?” he asked between kisses, now tugging at Murdoc’s shirt and hastily pulling it over his head before going back to work on his neck while slowly moving down his chest.

 

The bassist emitted a low moan as his hands went to tug at the blue locks. “Like… hnn… like…” He couldn’t even remember what it was that he wanted to say in the first place. Not when those soft lips were making a delicious journey down his chest and was now landing delicate bites and kisses over his stomach.

 

He paused just above his jeans, looking up at him and standing up again. His hands went around the bassist’s torso and he pulled him closer only to then shove him towards the bed. The startled man came to his senses when he was lying on his bed with the bluenette hovering over him just before he attacked his mouth again, this time fumbling with his belt at the same time.

 

He managed to pull the other’s pants down and as soon as he did he stopped kissing Murdoc and positioned himself with his face right in front of his fully erect cock.

 

“W-waddya doin’ Dents?”

 

Pulled out of a trance, the singer looked up and didn’t reply. Not with words, anyway. He wrapped his fingers around his length, stroking him a few times before directing the tip to his lips. He didn’t really know what to do, to be honest. He had only been on the receiving end of a blowjob before and now all he wished was that he had paid more attention to the techniques whenever some hot girl was sucking him off instead of just relishing in the wonderful feeling of it.

 

They made it seem so easy, he thought. Ho hoped he would be able to reproduce it now and make Murdoc feel good.

 

Whoa, _hold on._ Was he _really_ about to give _Murdoc_ a _blowjob?_ When had he even decided this? He couldn’t make sense of much right now, the alcohol clouding his judgement. All he knew was that he _desperately_ wanted to do it.

 

The satanist was going through a similar train of thoughts as well. All of this seemed to be going out of control, going beyond what it was supposed to be. But honestly, how much _did_ he care? Specially when he suddenly felt so much warmth and wetness all around his cock and damn, what was he even worried about?

 

His hand reached down to rake his fingers through that soft, blue hair, removing some strands from the other man’s face so that he could clearly see him engulfing his cock so beautifully. He released a shaky breath when 2D began bobbing his head up and down sloppily but still so fucking hot.

 

It was clearly the man’s first time doing it, but Murdoc didn’t mind, not one bit. He was too busy thinking about how good it felt to have his singer between his legs like that, sucking him off so eagerly, doing his best to please _him._ It was hard to believe. He had to force his intoxicated mind to focus, to be sure it wasn’t just some weird fantasy or a mind trick caused by a mix of cocktails and the memories of the two of them making out. Murdoc tried hard to concentrate one more time just to be sure it was real, but yep, his ridiculously gorgeous frontman really _did_ have his cock in his mouth and it felt _amazing._

 

2D was a bit nervous about not doing it well, but thankfully the alcohol in his blood took the edge off his anxiety. As the minutes went by and he started to get the hang of it, he began relaxing more. Even more so when he noticed Murdoc’s heavy breathing and the way he was looking at him, the way one of his hands gripped the sheets while the other gripped hard at his hair, tugging at it and sending jolts of pleasure through his thin frame.

 

He moaned around the satanist’s cock, his movements becoming a bit faster while his free hand went down to his own pants, hastily unzipping it just enough to pull out his twitching cock and pumping it hard.

 

Murdoc didn’t know how he didn’t come just from the sight of that, but he was thankful he had enough strength to pull the singer’s hair and move him away from his cock. The blowjob felt fucking great and he surely wanted to know how it’d feel to spill his seed inside that talented mouth, but not this time. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do just yet, he just knew he wanted to make this whole thing last longer.

 

2D stopped stroking himself and looked at Murdoc questioningly, worried that he might’ve done something wrong.

 

“...Y’okay?” he asked.

 

“Th-that was… fuckin’ _good.”_ the bassist replied, gasping for breath.

 

Before Stuart had time to say anything back though, Murdoc pulled him up, kissing him passionately while stripping them both out of the clothing they still had on.

 

Not only this was the first time they did something new to them like a blowjob, it was also the first they were both completely naked like this. Pants and underwear pulled down to their thighs was the most it had come down to in these past weeks, believe it or not. And that was because most of what they were doing was snogging hurriedly and sneakily whenever they had the chance to.

 

Welcoming the pleasant change, their hands travelled each other’s bodies, gliding over naked skin, feeling every curve and every angle, gripping hard at the flesh and running their nails over sensitive areas. After exploring one another for a while, Murdoc snaked his arms around 2D and flipped them over so that he was now on top - never once ceasing to kiss him deeply.

 

Their cocks were pressed tightly between the both of them, rubbing hard against one another and their bellies causing some delicious friction that was becoming too much and not enough at the same time.

 

With this thought in mind, Murdoc instinctively slid down and changed his angle just a bit so that his cock was now dangerously close to 2D’s tight entrance. The tip brushed against the muscle very gently, smearing it with precum and making the singer tense up, startled.

 

"Whoa, w-wait, wot...?" he asked confusedly, sobering up just a bit due to the foreign sensation but still drunk enough to not consider the aftermath as much as he should.

 

"D’ya wanna?" Murdoc asked, not pushing his dick in but also not backing away, choosing to just continue softly rubbing it against him.

 

"Um... I... I dunno, will it hurt?"

 

"Mmm I don' really know but I can go rrrrrreal slow with ya" he said, rubbing the tip of his cock very slowly against him, kissing from his shoulder up his neck. "And I got some lube here too."

 

The satanist continued kissing all over his neck, his jaw, his chin, all while his cock was still smearing precum all over the singer’s twitching entrance. Soon, 2D was moaning, spreading his legs wider, getting even more turned on.

 

"Ngh... I... Yeah." he managed to answer with a shaky breath.

 

"Ya want it?"

 

"Don' make me say it again!"

 

"C'mon idiot, I'm jus' makin' sure."

 

 _"Ugh,_ fine…” 2D stared into his eyes now, running both hands into his hair. He couldn’t get over how sexy his mate looked; no clothes, hovering on top of him with so much lust in his eyes, as if he was an animal ready to attack his prey. He took in this sight, biting his lip in the most lewd way Murdoc has ever seen and then lifted his head from the pillow to lightly touch his lips against his and whispered with a husky voice.

 

“I-I want it, Murdoc." he said, a bit embarrassed to be voicing these things out loud.

 

Murdoc smirked down at him. "'m gonna make ya say that again." he promised.

 

The satanist reached inside the drawer for his bottle of lube, coating his cock with it. It didn’t even cross his mind to stretch the bluenette. To be honest, he never did the whole stretching process to any of the women he has ever done anal sex with; he always just took it slow, unless it was clear that the girl was used to it.

 

Looking back at 2D, he couldn’t suppress a smile when he saw him suddenly on all fours, his round arse pointed up and inviting the satanist in. Murdoc felt his cock twitching at the sight of his singer so readily spreading himself open for him and quickly positioned behind the man, his rough hand sliding from his thigh up to his hip, eventually reaching his ass and grabbing a big chunk of it, gripping it hard.

 

At this point, realization started to hit 2D and he began to panic for a moment. ‘Wait, this is _Murdoc.’_ ‘What if he goes too rough?’ ‘What if it’s painful?’ ‘What if he doesn’t care at all if I ask him to stop?’ ‘Why did I even think this was _okay?’_ ‘Da fuck’s wrong with me?’.

 

Upon noticing the tension in the man below him, Murdoc tried to calm him down. He slid a hand from the bluenette’s hips up to his waist, rubbing a thumb over the pale skin.

 

“Hey. Don’ worry, yeah? Gotta relax.”

 

He got the answer in the form of a nod, 2D having apparently lost his ability to speak since the nervousness began. He then brushed the tip of his thick cock around his entrance and very slowly pushed it in while his hand sneaked around 2D to wrap his fingers around his cock and toss him off to distract him.

 

“Focus on _this.”_

 

And he did. He tried his best to simultaneously ignore the weird feeling, relax his muscles and also concentrate on the pleasant feeling of that warm hand pumping him. It proved to be difficult to mentally multitask like this, but eventually it did work. He could feel the tension dissipating and he would have to thank the alcohol the next day because he didn’t feel pain at all.

 

He noticed then how Murdoc was hardly moving and was now trembling a bit behind him, trying too hard to keep himself from thrusting into his arse with all his might.

 

“Nghh… _fuck,_ yer tight. Satan…”

 

Those words did the final trick for 2D. It felt incredibly good to know he was actually pleasing Murdoc too, specially with the way his voice sounded - so filled up with arousal that it felt like he was about to burst. And as the bassist moved his hips a bit more, he felt a delicious wave of pleasure shooting through his entire body and he moaned, loud.

 

Murdoc knew what it meant, of course, and relief washed through him as he finally started to let go of his self-control; his cock sliding in and out slightly faster now, going deeper and deeper with every thrust.

 

His hands gripped 2D’s asscheeks tight, spreading them a bit more to watch his cock disappear inside his singer. It was so arousing, he felt himself moaning and grunting at the visual candy in front of him.

 

As 2D’s moans got louder and more frequent, almost non-stop, he tightened his grip more on the beautiful flesh and pulled him back hard to meet every thrust, drilling into him like an animal in heat.

 

“Haaaaaaah… mmmm ya feel so g-good, Muds.”

 

“Do I? Nghh… Cause it feels so damn good ta ffffuck yer pretty arse, yanno that?”

 

“Y-yeah? Gonna have ta… hahh… ta do it again then.”

 

The satanist moaned even more at the thought of fucking him again. It was so much better than he would ever imagine it to be months ago, and he now felt like fucking him senseless every single day, if he could.

 

“Y’want me to? Want me t’fuck ya again?”

 

“Hahhh _fuck,_ yeah I want it!”

 

“Ohhh _ya bet_ I will then.”

 

He slowed down his thrusts a little bit more and grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling his upper body up, pressing the singer’s back against his chest. He held him in position with an arm around his waist while the other pulled him by his chin to attack his jawline with his mouth, sucking, biting and kissing him.

 

They stayed like this for a while longer and 2D couldn’t help but move his hips back, meeting every thrust and making the impact even harder as the slapping noises filled the room, along with his high-pitched moans.

 

The bluenette turned his head around to capture the other’s lips in his, even though the angle didn’t quite help as much. Instead, they settled for sucking and biting one another’s bottom lips before running their tongues over them.

 

“Aaaaahhh… Fuck, Muds, ’m so close.”

 

Upon hearing those words, Murdoc slowed down one more time and slid out completely from inside 2D, making him confused for just a second before he was thrown on the bed lying on his back and the bassist was quickly on top of him, shoving his cock mercilessly inside him again and fucking him hard.

 

2D felt like he could be going insane from so much pleasure, his whole body twitching and responding wonderfully to every touch, bucking his hips relentlessly and screaming from the overstimulation he was receiving. He loved the idea of being at Murdoc’s mercy like that, letting him do what he pleased with his body.

 

Murdoc leaned down to kiss him deep for a good few seconds before whispering. “C’mon, I wanna feel ya cum.”

 

The bassist pressed their bodies tightly together, 2D’s cock rubbing against his lower stomach as he slammed into him hard, the bed creaking and the frame hitting the wall with every thrust. He leaned down to attack those lips one more time, wanting desperately to feel the singer coming while still kissing him.

 

Soon after, 2D felt himself tensing up, his entire body shivering as he wrapped his legs tight around the bassist’s hips, pulling him in deeper. He could feel Murdoc’s cock jolting inside him while filling his ass with cum and he orgasmed hard, tugging at the black locks and moaning inside their passionate kiss while still being fiercely pounded in the arse. He came violently, making a sticky mess between their bodies just before the satanist fully collapsed over him, completely worn out after shagging for who knows how long.

 

They gasped for breath for quite some time, their bodies covered in sweat and limbs still wrapped loosely around one another.

 

After they finally recovered, 2D was the first to speak.

 

“Wow. T-that… was… “ and trailed off, not really knowing how to describe it. He was too exhausted anyway.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Can’t believe we did it.”

 

“Hell, I’m blamin’ the booze.” Murdoc replied jokingly, to which 2D laughed and agreed.

 

A few more moments of silence later, the singer spoke again.

 

“I should go to my room. Yanno, before the others are back.”

 

“Yeah, yer right.”

 

They cleaned themselves a bit and 2D went to look for his phone in the mess of clothes scattered across the floor.

 

“Holy shit!”

 

“Wot? Wot is it?”

 

“It’s 4:42 am now.”

 

“Yer shitting me.”

 

“Wait, wot… wot time did we get home?”

 

“Hell, I’ve no soddin’ clue. ‘m still half drunk.”

 

2D scratched his head for a moment, growing a bit concerned. “I _really_ hope they’re not home yet.”

 

“Yeeeeah they probably are.”

 

 

 

 


	9. The Morning After

 

 

 

 

It was very late in the morning when 2D waltzed into the kitchen to grab some breakfast, his blue hair messier than usual.

 

Noodle and Russel were just finishing preparing breakfast for the entire band, although it was mostly Russel who made a lot of pancakes, eggs and bacon. Noodle was just finishing brewing some coffee when she saw the singer walk in.

 

“Morning, Toochi.” she said, and then examined his appearance, a small smile on her lips.

 

“Morning Noods, morning Russ.”

 

“Morning!” the drummer said, flipping the last bacon strip.

 

“So, had a good night yesterday huh?” Noodle asked him, her smile changing to a smirk.

 

The singer blushed a little at the thought, but was a little confused at the statement. He knew he didn’t have any hickeys or bruises from yesterday - he checked himself in the mirror before coming to the kitchen and, thankfully, the bites from the night before were not so deep as to leave any marks.

 

“Uh, why are ya sayin’ tha’?”

 

She raised an eyebrow at him, setting the plates on the table.

 

“You look, well… happy. And Muds texted me last night, said he shared a taxi with you and some women. Unless they were all with him?”

 

“Uhh--” he started, realizing just now that he never thought about what to say in case they asked about how it went with the women they _didn’t_ really bring home last night. Thankfully Murdoc walked in at just the right moment, looking a little less grumpy than usual.

 

“Morning, shitheads.”

 

“Mornin’” they all said, and Russel brought all the food to the table and they sat down, Noodle and Murdoc on one side, Russel and 2D on the other.

 

“So.” the drummer began. “Guess we should’ve bought some better quality ear plugs for last night, huh Murdoc?”

 

The singer was glad he didn’t have any food or coffee in his mouth, otherwise he surely would’ve spat all of it.

 

Murdoc tensed a little bit. “On with the accusations early in the mornin’, huh?”

 

“Accusations? It’s just the _truth,_ I could hear your nasty-ass sounds, plus it was obviously coming from your room.”

 

“Okay. Fair point. But I don’t care, go buy better ear plugs then.”

 

“Not just him then, me too. Jesus, I couldn’t sleep.” Noodle added and the bluenette was getting more and more tense with this conversation. So they heard them, then? Did this mean they found out?

 

“Also -- this may sound weird, I know -- but did you ever bring this girl here before?” Noodle asked him.

 

“... No, why do ya ask, luv?

 

“Not sure, it just felt like… A familiar voice, maybe. Familiar but… not quite?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Russel then looked at the singer who had been a bit quieter than usual during breakfast. “So I’m guessing it didn’t bother you then, D.”

 

“Uhh. W-whaddya mean?”

 

“Well, weren’t you in your room with the other chick?” he asked, and then looked at Noodle. “Didn’t the text say like ‘women’, plural?” he asked her.

 

“Yeah it did, something like that.” she replied and also went back to looking at 2D. “So wasn’t she with you?”

 

“Oh. Yeah, she was. With me. In… in me room.”

 

“See Murdoc, when we’re _sharing_ a house with _other people,_ you should be more considerate like 2D was. I heard nothing coming from his room.” the drummer pointed out.

 

“Well maybe the idiot was jus’ chit-chatting. Or cuddlin’ or sum bullshit.” he started, earning a frown and an offended “Hey!” from the bluenette.

 

“Very funny, Murdoc. Yeah, you _clearly_ had your fun.” Noodle said, looking annoyed as she brought the cup of coffee to her lips.

 

And that’s when it hit him. Murdoc had the most perfect opportunity to tease 2D in a very different way than usual without anyone knowing except the two of them. He smirked behind his coffee mug.

 

“Quite _a lot_ of fun, actually. She was very hot, yanno? Real nice arse too.”

 

2D, who had thought it was safe to start eating by now, almost choked on his pancake and felt his face heating up.

 

“Do we have the newspaper? Where’s the newspaper?” he frantically asked, looking around until he spotted it lying on an empty chair somewhat close to him. He picked it up and opened it at some random page just to cover the redness on his cheeks.

 

Russel looked quizzically at him. “You never read them.”

 

“’Course I do… sometimes.”

 

The drummer shrugged, turning back to the bassist. “And uh, great that you enjoyed yourself.” he said sarcastically, not really in the mood to talk about it. He had heard it way too much the night before.

 

“I sure did! Rrrrrrreal kinky, that one.”

 

“Please don’t tell us what you did, you old man. We could _hear,_ unfortunately.” Noodle pointed out.

 

“Fine, fine, I won’t say anythin’ else.” he agreed, grinning widely.

 

A few moments of silence later, 2D knew his face had cooled down and he put the newspaper down, ignoring the looks he was getting from everyone and resumed eating.

 

The young guitarist then broke the silence again. “But damn, she was the loudest you ever brought home.”

“--OKAY! Uh, guys, there was this, um. _Thing.”_ 2D blurted out, a bit too loud in the beginning, desperate to change the subject entirely.

 

They all looked at him, waiting for him to continue, which took him just a bit too long to. Murdoc, in special, looked particularly amused by the entire situation.

 

Luckily though, he _did_ have something he wanted to talk about with everyone anyway.

 

“Um, so. I was thinkin’ of going ta Crawley, maybe by the end of the month. Spend like four or five days there or sumthin’.”

 

“Ah, nice. You’re gonna visit your parents then?” Russel asked.

 

“Yeah, I miss me folks. ‘S been a while since the last time I’ve been there, yanno? But uh, I wos thinkin’. Do ya guys wanna go with me? I don’ think we have any major things scheduled. I checked like, _a lot_ just ta be sure. It could be fun…”

 

“Huh, that’s nice Toochi. I think I’ve never been to your old house, but I remember meeting your parents a long time ago. Maybe they came here, I don’t remember. I’m in!”

 

“Yeah man, sounds cool. Do we get to see baby pictures and all?” Russel added, laughing.

 

“Maybe.” 2D laughed along and then looked over to Murdoc, who didn’t seem that excited about it. He was poking at the last bit of bacon on his plate, avoiding to look at anyone.

 

“Murdoc?”

 

He stopped the movements with his fork, looking up from his plate to the singer’s eyes but without really saying anything.

 

“Ya comin’ too, right?”

 

He squinted his eyes “Yer parents hate me.”

 

“Uh. W-well, they don’ really ha--” he started saying, but stopped when he noticed the eyeroll he got in response.

 

“For fuck’s sake, don’t bullshit me. They _do._ I know. They fuckin’ told me and might I add, it was not jus’ _once.”_

 

“Muds, please. If they know more ‘bout ya, they could change their minds too. More real stuff instead of the fake stories they’ve heard, yanno? And I’ll be there, I’ll help.”

 

The singer decided to ignore the looks on the others’ faces as he said his parents could actually change their minds about Murdoc by getting to _know him more._ Know him more? Did 2D know who he was talking about?

 

The satanist’s eyes scanned his face, trying to figure out why he was doing this in the first places. He wasn’t too pleased about it but maybe, _just maybe_ he could go through this whole thing and it would be uneventful. Right?

 

“Fine.”

 

2D smiled. “Good ol’ times, right?”

  


~

  


**October 18th, 1998.**

 

2D was sitting on the couch in the living room of the Kong Studios, staring blankly at a turned-off TV screen when he heard the jiggle of keys unlocking the front door. It swung open as Russel came in with a few bags of groceries, followed by Murdoc just behind him with a few bags as well - mostly liquor, though.

 

“Ah, there ya fuckin’ are. Russel couldn’t find anyone else in the house so he dragged me to the damned store. It wos hell back there, I’ll tell ya that.” he complained angrily while putting all bags on the floor, not bothering to bring any of them to the kitchen.

 

“Oh shut your mouth. Everyone has to help and that includes you.” Russel spat back while disappearing into the kitchen.

 

The singer made no motion to acknowledge them though, which angered the bassist even more.

 

“Did ya fuckin’ hear me, ya idiot?” he asked while making his way around the couch to actually see the other’s face, before stopping in his tracks as soon as his eyes landed on the bluenette’s weirdly emotionless expression.

 

“Hey. Is uh… is everythin’ alright?” he then asked, his voice a lot softer than usual now.

 

2D blinked now, and slowly looked up at the satanist, apparently having just noticed his presence for the first time.

 

“Paula… um… Paula’s gone.” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

“Gone? Whaddya mean _gone?”_ he reluctantly asked, even though he knew what he meant.

 

“We broke up. She packed her things and left. She’s out of the band too.”

 

Murdoc paused, figuring out what to say and decided to sit down on the couch next to him. He knew he wasn’t good with this sort of thing, but even though him and 2D were always arguing over stupid things, he knew deep inside that he thought of him as a friend. Not that he ever admitted this, though.

 

“Wot happened?” He figured he might as well try to get more information and get the other to share what he had just been through.

 

“We had another fight. Yanno, as usual. Things were still weird and I guess both of us kinda tried to fix it but… neither of us wanted this too much, I guess. She… She said she’s not attracted ta me a-anymore.” he choked a little bit at that. Even though he was slowly improving his self-confidence and learning to accept his new appearance, it was still a sensitive topic. And the fact that this was probably one of the biggest reasons behind the relationship going beyond the point where it could be fixed just made it all ten times worse.

 

“Well she’s a fuckin’ _whore_ for sayi--”

 

“Muds, _don’t._ It’s not her fault, at least not _this_ part. She likes what she likes. She can’t force herself to feel somethin’ she jus’ does not feel at all. I think she tried though… But...” he shook his head slightly. “I dunno… we didn’t actually end on good terms.”

 

“How, uh… how are ya feelin’? ‘bout the breakup.” Murdoc already knew that Stuart was still feeling like shit about his appearance, so he didn’t want to keep on talking about that right now.

 

“Honestly? I dunno. I told ya the other day I thought I didn’t love her anymore. ‘M guessing that’s true… Like, I feel kinda sad thinkin’ ‘bout wot could’ve been. But jus’ like she can’t force herself to like me, I can’t force meself either. Specially considering we ended kinda badly... ‘S jus’ kinda sad it’s over. Feels weird.”

 

“Right.” He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t his thing, he has never been the romantic type at all and has never been in a serious relationship so far. Nothing but casual encounters. It’s what he liked and it’s what he knew.

 

So he got up and made his way over to the bags on the floor, pulling out one bottle of rum he felt like buying today. He was going to save it for some special celebration and just have beer the rest of the time but he decided that since he didn’t know how to be kind and helpful as people usually are, he would do it his own way.

 

He opened it and walked back to the couch, sitting beside 2D again. He extended his arm, offering the bottle to him.

 

“Here. Let’s have some booze.”

 

His black eyes observed the bottle for a second before saying “Um, I dunno if I want it.”.

 

“Hey, it might be good fer ya. Trust me.”

 

The bluenette hesitated again, but grabbed the bottle and took a small sip from it, cringing a bit when it burned down his throat.

 

“Holy shit, that’s strong.” he said while giving the bottle back to the bassist.

 

“I know, right?” he smiled a bit at him. 2D smiled back, although it faded mere seconds later and he stared at Murdoc’s face for a while.

 

“Muds. There’s somethin’ else.”

 

“Wot is it?”

 

“We… talked a lot. The whole afternoon I think, while ya guys were gone. We were not here, that’s why Russ couldn’t find us. We were outside for the first part of it… Okay that’s not important, uh… Anyway, the backstory thing came up.”

 

“The… backstory? Why did ya talk ‘bout the backstory?”

 

“Paula’s dream was ta be famous. Ever since she was a teenager, she said. Our band was supposed to be her breakthrough, according ta her. She’s mad that she got so close and even invested some money on it. Also her time, and the few gigs we did together alrea--”

 

“--Okay, get the hell on with it already!”

He took a deep breath, not really knowing the best way to say the things he was about to say. “She doesn’t want ta be erased from the band, not entirely. Basically she wants ta get somethin’ from this. So she asked, well sorta demanded actually, to add some kinda _big scandal_ that people would love ta talk about. To get some fame, put her name out there, and then she’ll try to get into another band. She said she would play along and not tell anyone about how some parts of our story are fake if we did that.”

 

“Oh so she’s fuckin’ _demanding_ shit now? Who the hell does she think she is? And wot fuckin’ scandal is she coming up with?!” he asked, very angry at the boldness of their now former guitarist.

 

“She wants to pretend ya shagged her inside one of the bathroom stalls here. Behind me back.”

 

The usually olive-tanned skin tone was washed from his face, becoming pale at the absurd suggestion.

 

“IS SHE FUCKIN’ OUTTA HER FUCKIN’ MIND? THAT PIECE OF SHIT!” he yelled now, causing Russel to hurry back to the living room, worried as hell. 2D knew Murdoc would have an angry outburst like this and wasn’t sure if he could handle it on his own, anyway.

 

“Muds, ca--” the bluenette started.

“FUCK!” the bassist randomly screamed, not entirely aware of his mate’s attempts to talk to him.

 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Russel, confused and very annoyed at whatever was happening, came into the living room and demanded an explanation.

 

“Shut the hell up! NOT now! Definitely not a good time, you sod!”

 

“Hey, what gives you the fuckin’ right to talk to me like that?” he replied.

 

Before Murdoc could reply - and he was definitely meaning to - 2D decided to jump in and talk to Russel, motion with his hand for Murdoc to hold on for just a little bit. Which, amazingly enough, he did (although against his will).

 

“Russ, sorry. I’ll explain it in a few minutes, jus’... jus’ hold on a bit, please.” 2D said, earning a puzzled looked from the drummer who just stood awkwardly at the doorway, clearly not happy about having to wait but something in this situation did make it seem out of the ordinary. He noticed, in fact, how Murdoc didn’t seem angry _at 2D_ but at something else entirely.

 

The singer looked back at Murdoc, who now looked like a wild animal ready to jump on some prey’s jugular. Preferably Paula’s.

 

“Muds?” the singer tried again, but the satanist was in his own little world, hands sliding up his face and his fingers balling up around his hair, tightly. Upon realizing he would not get a verbal indication to continue speaking, he decided to just go with it and blurt everything out.

 

“Muds, there’s more. Besides that, she said we have to pretend that Russel caught ya two and he punched and broke yer nose and that this somehow explains the shape of it.”

 

The drummer looked even more confused now, having trouble making sense of what he had just heard now, completely out of context.

 

“That fuckin’ sorry excuse for a… for a… Ah fuck it! That doesn’t even make sense! My nose was always like this, ya jus’ have ta look at my bloody child pictures, for Satan’s sake!”

 

“I know. I’ve seen them. But I dunno wot ta do, Muds. She knows the entire plan for the backstory. It wos the whole selling point for us. I tried to convince her, I really did. But then it jus’ got worse and we both got angrier at each other. I… I think we have to do it.”

 

“Are ya crazy?! Do ya really want this kinda story on yerself?”

 

“Of course I don’t, but then wot? Wot do we-- wot’s the other option?”

 

“I don’t fuckin’ know. I jus’... FUCK.”

 

A small moment of silence stretched between them and Russel took the opportunity to sneak out of the living room and go back to the kitchen. He wasn’t able to glue together the pieces of information he was getting and the situation already felt pretty tense as it was. He figured he would get the explanation soon enough anyway.

 

After a few more seconds went by, the bassist’s voice was a bit calmer than before, although the irritation was still evident.

 

“Wait, why me then? Why not Russ did it and _I_ punched him or somethin’?”

 

“Wot, then it would be okay or sumthin’?” 2D asked, a little offended at the suggestion.

 

“No! Fuck, no, I’m just curious to why that fuckin’...” he trailed off, taking a deep breath to calm down. The mere action of mentioning her was enough to get his blood boiling. “Jus’ wanna know why, is all.”

 

“Uhm… Okay, I actually asked her about that too, to be honest. She said… Well, she said somethin’ ‘bout ya hating me in _real life_ already and that it would make more sense if it’s ya. Even more so because of the made-up stuff, like the second car accident and all the physical abuse, those things…”

 

His heterochromic eyes went wider. “She-- I--” he began, and then paused to lift the bottle of rum to his lips and gulp down a good amount of alcohol before putting it over the coffee table and turning to the bluenette.

 

“Hey, 2D. Listen ta me. Yanno I’d never do this, right? I’m a proud asshole, I know, but not… not _that_ kind of asshole. A different kind. Yer my mate, yanno? And I don’t hate ya like that bitch said I did. Even if yer an idiot that fuckin’ pisses me off sometimes, yer _my mate.”_ he said, getting a little embarrassed mid-through. They never said those things to each other before, although they knew they were true.

 

The singer smiled at him, a bit wider than before now.

 

“I know, Muds. Really, I know.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! If you enjoy my fics and would like to buy me a nice cup of coffee, I'd be soooo so happy <3  
> https://ko-fi.com/H2H09ONF
> 
> <3


	10. The Suspicion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um... Hey. What uh, what have y'all been up to? 
> 
> Yeah, I'm back from the dead, I guess.
> 
> It's been a fucking long time since my last update, for many reasons. One, a lot of stuff going on in my life (not bad stuff, just a lot). But then again, everybody goes through a lot of stuff, right? But I guess the two main reasons are, 1, as you maybe knew from my previous author notes, I wasn't that into this story anymore and was seeing a lot of flaws in it, wanting to rewrite a lot of stuff but not finding time for that. And then 2, I think the fandom was kinda dying around that time, so it felt like no one would continue reading this.
> 
> But a few people still did and I got some really sweet comments over these months and I couldn't just not do anything about them anymore. Plus, phase 5 just began and the fandom seems like it came back from the ashes and I'm loving it.
> 
> I did have some chapters already written, so I just fixed some things before posting. As a way to both apologize for the wait and thank all the readers for being supportive, I'm posting two chapters at once. I'll try my best to not take too long to update this again. As I said somewhere, I hate the idea of an abandoned fic. It took a while but I'll finish this one way or another!
> 
> Hope you like it <3

 

 

 

The sun was just beginning to set down and the last rays of light were filtering through the blinds in the living room where the four band members very enthusiastically played some video games to relax a little before their trip to Crawley tomorrow. Everything was packed for them to stay a few days over at 2D’s old house, where his parents still lived.

 

So right now they were engaging in some very heated fighting matches. They tried the usual “loser passes the controller” system, but soon enough both controllers got stuck with 2D and Noodle, which didn’t really work for them. So they alternated a lot among them so everyone played with everyone.

 

Right now, Russel and 2D were playing against each other, although with a twist. The singer actually had his back turned to the TV while Noodle would tell him which way he was facing depending where Russel went.

 

“Okay, to your right, to yo-- No no, now left!! Your left!” Noodle screamed to 2D as he tried landing random hits while only changing the directions depending on the guitarist’s guidance.

 

“Stop jumpin’ around so much, Russ, dammit!” the bluenette complained, even though he was still winning - by a slight advantage only, but still.

 

“Hell no, it’s my only way to beat your skinny ass.” he replied, struggling with the buttons and making his character jump around 2D’s constantly in hopes of throwing him off.

 

Noodle noticed the pattern, though. Left side, hit, jump to the right side, hit. Repeat. So she leaned in and whispered something in the singer’s ear that no one else could hear.

 

“Ohhh got it!” 2D said.

 

The next few seconds proved to be a massacre as he managed to finish him quite easily.

 

“You’re a freak.” Russel said, handing the controller over to Murdoc. “Here, you try him.”

 

2D turned around to face the screen again, adjusting himself better on the floor as Noodle also went back to her spot on the floor, seeing as she was done helping him. The bassist grabbed the controller, looking over to the singer who stared back at him for just a second before smiling very discreetly and then turning back to face the screen.

 

It didn’t go unnoticed by Noodle; not anymore. She exchanged a look with Russel, who seemed to have noticed it too, although neither said anything.

 

Their match went on as expected, for the most part. Murdoc would try hard to get at least one win against the bluenette, but 2D would beat his ass without much effort. This would piss off the bassist every. Single. Time. Even if he knew the outcome before the first round even began, he still had to throw a fit at the end.

 

Tonight though, the outburst never happened. He lost and merely grunted in annoyance, which caused Noodle and Russel to exchange looks one more time that night.

 

Ever since Murdoc and 2D started to secretly make out whenever they were alone, they were pretty good at hiding any evidence and pretending nothing had changed between them. It never crossed the other two’s minds that something else could have been going now beneath their noses until  _ very recently. _

 

There were clues here and there, and soon they suspected something was really off. They spoke about it, just the two of them. Still confused and not quite putting all pieces together, they decided to wait until the right moment and then ask them about it. It seemed the time had just come. The guitarist and the drummer shared a knowing look; one that seemed to say ‘Okay. Let’s do this shit’.

 

2D extended his arm to his side, offering the controller to Noodle. Instead of taking it from him though, she ignored it and squinted her eyes in his direction, reading his face.

 

“Um. Noods? Wot’re ya doin’?” he asked her, feeling a little anxious under her stare.

 

“Looking at you.” she said simply.

 

“Yeah, I kinda noticed. Why?” he insisted, his hand slowly lowering down with the controller since apparently she wasn’t going to take it from him.

 

Instead of answering him, she turned to look back at Murdoc, doing the same thing to him. He wasn’t as anxious as the singer. Rather, he looked particularly annoyed.

 

“The fuck are ya doin’ now?”

 

Finally, she turned to Russ. “Let’s do this, yeah?”

 

“Yep.” he replied.

 

“Okay, are ya two done bein’ fuckin’ creeps now?” the bassist asked, clearly growing very irritated.

 

The guitarist adjusted herself on the floor, and both her and Russel turned to completely face the other two.

 

“Okay. Here’s the thing. Me and Russ noticed some uh,  _ unusual _ behaviour.” she started, and the two tensed at that. A million thoughts were rushing through the bluenette’s mind now, trying to prepare for something he was far from expecting to happen so soon.

 

Russel then cut in. “We think it’s weird as fuck that you two idiots are not even fighting anymore. Don’t get me wrong now, I don’t particularly  _ miss it.  _ But, you know. It’s just weird.”

 

“Waddya mean not fightin’? Of course we fight. He’s a fuckin’ moron.”

 

“Yer the moron, ya old bastard.” the singer replied in annoyance.

 

“See? We’re fighting all the soddin’ time.”

 

The two raised an eyebrow and Noodle continued speaking. 

 

“... Yeah that was not very convincing, sorry. But as Russ said, we’re not asking you to fight again. Hell, I’m glad I don’t have to put up with your shit all the time anymore. The thing is, we noticed other things too.”

 

“... Like?” Murdoc asked, scared of what he would hear.

 

“Well. You’re getting along fine. As in, real friends.” Noodle pointed out.

 

“And spending a hell lotta time together. Kinda creeps me out.” the drummer added.

 

“Hai! I thought the same thing.”

 

“You’re even fucking smiling at each other.” Russel added.

 

“Yeah and there’s uh, more staring involved too.” she said.

 

“Oh yeah, but not the type we have to be worried about.”

 

“Right, it’s like… I don’t know, it’s not a threatening type of staring as it usually was. It’s… different.”

 

2D and Murdoc both knew where this was going. Those two were really noticing a lot more than they thought they did. The biggest problem is, since they never thought it would be a problem to begin with, they never actually talked about what to do and what to say if they were ever in this type of situation.

 

“Okay, cut the cr--” Murdoc started, but Russel ignored him and continued his back-and-forth with Noodle.

 

“Also, the two of you disappear  _ at the same time _ sometimes.”

 

“Which is very suspicious, by the way. But one of the greatest, uh,  _ giveaway _ for us is… well… we hear a lot of uh, moaning and all, from when you  _ supposedly _ bring women home…” Noodle hesitantly said.

 

“Well, and wot the fuck is the pr--”

 

“--But we never actually  _ see _ the women.” Russel interrupted Murdoc yet again.

 

A couple of seconds of silence began, and Murdoc knew he had to try to explain things faster and better,  _ soon. _ “Well, SO WOT?! The other day ya two said I should be more considerate and all that shit! Figured ya didn’t wanna see them too. I’ve been kicking them outta my room soon after jus’ cause of yer stupid complaints.”

 

“You know, we’re finding it hard to believe, man.” Russel said.

 

“We actually have a guess on what all of this means. But it seems just so  _ absurdly unlikely _ that we figured it must be something else. So we decided to just go ahead and ask you what’s been going on. You know, and hear it from you guys instead of making assumptions.”

 

“We’re shagging.” 2D suddenly said after being quiet the entire time and Murdoc almost choked on his own saliva. He jumped to the floor, shoving his palm over the other’s mouth as if this could somehow block the words that have already been said.

 

“ARE YA FUCKIN’ OUTTA YER FUCKIN’ MIND, YA IDIOT?! WHY DID YA HAVTA GO ‘N SAY THAT?!”

 

“Mmmmpf!” he tried speaking back even though Murdoc wouldn’t remove his hand from over his mouth.

 

“Whoa  _ damn, _ so it’s really true?” Russel asked them. Him and Noodle both had their eyes widened at the revelation. Their guess  _ was _ right, but even if they had thought about this before, it still felt shocking to actually have it confirmed.

 

Murdoc sighed, removing his hand from the singer’s face and sitting down on the floor next to him, resting both elbows over his knees and running his finger through his hair in anger.

 

“Fuckin’ hell. Yeah, it’s true. Are ya happy now?”

 

“Uhhh. I don’t know. Are  _ you?  _ You two, I mean.” Noodle asked.

 

“Uh. That’s... Um, h-how do we…?” 2D mumbled, embarrassed at the question. Happy? Could they say that? Well, they were obviously enjoying this a lot, otherwise it would’ve been over already. But still, saying they’re happy about it could mean so many different things and he simply didn’t know how to answer that.

 

“Okay, maybe that’s a weird question, sorry. But um… Are you, like… dating? Like, are you serious?” she asked, not really making this any easier for them.

 

“NO! N-no, we’re not. It’s nothin’, ‘s jus’ shagging.” 2D blurted out without thinking too much. His face was as red as a tomato at this point and all he hoped for was for the roof to crack open and aliens to abduct him right there, right now.

 

_ ‘Nothing’,  _ Murdoc thought.  _ ‘Just shagging’. _ These words seemed like the most reasonable way to describe what their relationship was, and if he had been the one to answer Noodle’s question, he would probably choose a similar response, although maybe with some curse words or insults added to the mix. So why did it not feel that great to  _ hear _ it?

  
  


~

  
  


Later that night, they went back to their rooms and 2D followed Murdoc back to his room instead of his own, figuring that now they didn’t have to hide it anyway. The bassist was being quieter than usual but 2D didn’t really notice it and simply got into his room and closed the door behind him.

 

The bluenette sat on the bed while Murdoc went straight to his mini fridge, tossing his T shirt on the floor on his way. He grabbed a bottle of beer, opened it and chugged down more than half of it before walking to his bed and sitting down next to the singer who was staring at him with those black knowing eyes.

 

“What?!” he asked in a cold, dry tone.

 

2D flinched slightly. “Are ya okay Muds?”

 

“Do I _ look  _ okay?” he asked and then took another swig.

 

“Sorry. But I dunno, maybe ‘s good that it happened. We don’ need ta sneak and come up with excuses in the future, y’know?”

 

“Future?” he mumbled, his grip around the bottle tightening.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nothin’.”

 

The singer tried studying his face to figure out why he seemed so upset. Did he do something? He didn’t think so, at least. He was probably just mad at being found out, specially considering he could be worried about his reputation, probably ashamed to be associated in this way to  _ him _ of all people. 

 

Murdoc lifted the bottle once again, finishing the rest of the beer and throwing it on the floor, not even flinching when it shattered into dozens of pieces.

 

“Fuckin’ hell Murdoc, why the fu--” he yelled.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” the satanist screamed back before pushing him down on the mattress and moving on top of him to slam his lips over his.

 

The singer was stunned for a second, but as those hands gripped him tight and that devilish tongue fiercely explored his mouth, he couldn’t hold back a moan and quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back hungrily.

 

Things were different, this time. Everything was much rougher than it had been these past weeks. The two of them were certainly not known to be vanilla, sure, but this time things were unmistakably harsher and way more intense than the other times they shagged.

 

Gripping hard instead of touching. Sucking and biting instead of kissing. The pace was faster, the foreplay was almost entirely gone, and their care to be quieter was non-existent.

 

Their reasons were different, though. 2D simply welcomed the change in it. It turned him on  _ so much, _ he ended up losing control and couldn’t give a fuck about anything else other than being fucked by Murdoc until he was sore. It was all he could think about as he gripped the satanist by the hips and pulled him in while bucking his hips against his cock.

 

For Murdoc though, it was different. A million thoughts were rushing through his head ever since the little surprise they had in the living room before. He couldn’t help but think about those words and about how part of him wanted different words instead. He didn’t know which. Even though he knew he would answer the same, if not worse. Confusion consumed him and he got angry at himself, at 2D, at everyone.

 

He had a feeling this time would be one of the last times they had sex. And the truth is, they didn’t do it as much. About two weeks worth of sex, and maybe two more weeks of making out and tossing each other off before that. In the end, it was not much, but it felt like much more. Maybe because they knew each other for so many years already and had been living  _ and _ working together for all this time, which intensified their “relationship” beyond normal.

 

It was weird for Murdoc to think that it would end so soon, but clearly 2D wasn’t as invested in this as he apparently was. So it not only made him angry that 2D didn’t seem to enjoy it as much as he did, it also made him angry at  _ himself _ for being so fucking stupid.

 

As he slammed his cock inside 2D, it both annoyed and turned him on when the singer moaned loudly and wrapped his legs around him.

 

“H-harder!” 

 

He adjusted himself better and pounded into him even harder, the fragile bed shaking intensely with every thrust until it couldn’t resist the pressure anymore. They felt a wooden board from the bed structure breaking beneath them, and even though it didn’t render the bed useless, it created a dip in the mattress.

 

The satanist pulled himself out and stood up, pulling 2D by the wrist and slamming him hard against the door, knocking down a lamp in the process. He lifted him up just enough to thrust back into him harshly while his pointy teeth went to work on his collar bone, sloppily biting around it and moving up to his neck.

 

“Hahh fuck, yes, fuck me hard Murdoc-- haaaaahhh ngh… d-don’ stop--”

 

Murdoc didn’t say anything back the whole time. Instead, he focused on relentlessly fucking 2D and listening to him screaming his name over and over until both of them came.

 

When they finally recovered, they slowly untangled themselves from one another and as Murdoc was about to turn around and walk away, 2D pulled him back; hands grabbing his face firmly, and kissed him passionately until they ran out of breath yet again.

 

“So uh, wanna sleep in my bed tonight? Yanno, yours ‘s kinda…” 2D asked him, motioning with his head in the direction of the hallway.

 

“Nah, ‘s just a dent. Doesn’ bother me.”

 

“Muds, c’mon. It’s uncomfy like this. Not good fer ya back, y’know? Seriously, ‘s no big deal.”

 

_ ‘No big deal’. _ He pondered over it for a few moments.

 

“Yeh. Fine.”

 

 

 

 


	11. The Shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up in case you clicked to read the last chapter right away from this last update: I posted two chapters at the same time (10 and 11), so be sure you didn't skip one!
> 
> Cheers <3

 

 

 

The trip to Crawley was as expected. They left home later than they had planned, as usual. The trip was exhausting, as predicted. Murdoc complained the entire time. Specially because he wasn’t the one driving, which made him more annoyed, but Russel insisted he drove them instead.

 

“Ha. Ya jus’ missed the fuckin’ exit. See? I told ya I should be fuckin’ drivin’ but _noooo._ No, let’s have _stupid-ass here_ do it instead. Because, who soddin’ cares if we only get th--”

 

“Murdoc, will you shut the fuck up? Geez, give us a break.” Noodle interrupted him for the millionth time already.

 

“A break? Did ya not hear wot I jus’ said? HE FUCKIN’ MISSED TH--”

 

“--I’m trying _real hard_ to ignore your ass, but Jesus-fucking-Christ!” Russel complained, trying to focus on the road in spite of the constant angry babbling behind him.

 

“Muds. He didn’t miss it. ‘S the next one.” 2D interrupted.

 

“Ya don’ fuckin’ know how ta even tie yer fuckin’ shoelaces, WHY THE HELL do ya think ya know how--”

 

“Shuddup, ya know that’s not fuckin’ true!”

 

“Hey, don’t talk to your _boyfriend_ like that, Murdoc.” Russel said while giggling, causing Noodle to also join in laughing too.

 

“HE’S NOT MY SODDIN’-- GAHH” he groaned angrily, as both of them were sporting embarrassingly red cheeks right now. 2D didn’t say anything and just tried to be absorbed by the backseat, unsuccessfully.

 

The inside of the car slowly fell into silence for a record period of time, thankfully for Russel. He couldn’t be more glad that he could now effectively joke about the two of them as a couple to get some peaceful quiet moments in return.

 

~

 

20 minutes later, they were approaching the address on the GPS and Russel slowly pulled over in front of a medium-sized house with a small porch and a well-maintained garden filled with flowers. Noodle looked at the rear-view mirror and grinned at the two on the backseat, poking Russel to look behind as well.

 

At some point after everyone had stopped talking, they both had fallen asleep; Murdoc’s head resting on top of 2D’s shoulder while 2D lied his head on top of Murdoc’s.

 

Noodle and Russel both leaned comfortably with their elbows over their seats, resting their chins on their hands and looking back at them.

 

“Ahem.” Noodle cleared her throat loud enough for them to groggily wake up, only for them to freak out a second later when they realized their situation.

 

After the yells and laughter died down, they got out of the car and went to grab their things from the trunk while 2D ran to the front door and rang the bell.

 

“Oh honey, they’re here!” a sweet female voice was heard from the inside and a few seconds later the door was swung open by Mrs Rachel Pot. She was, as expected, a very lovely lady on her late 50s - her gray hair still showing a few strands of light brown and her beautiful blue eyes that were just like 2D’s before his accident.

 

“My sweetie! Oh I missed you so much, come here!” she said, pulling him into a tight hug. “Oh my, you’re so thin, Stu! Have you been eating enough? You know how worried I am, you shou--”

 

 _“Mom._ Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay, really!” he said, laughing softly. “Missed ya too.”

 

“Aw, my dear. Sorry, you know how worried I get when I see those pictures of you with your little bones poking out, oh dear Lord! And I could _feel_ them now, Stu.”

 

“Mom, yer worryin’ again. I’m tellin’ ya, I’m okay. I actually eat quite a lot, ya know that already. ‘S jus’ how I am.”

 

She reluctantly let go of him, still rubbing his arm with one hand while another rested on his cheek. Her gaze lingered for a second-too-long over his eyes in a way that 2D easily recognized. Many times before she had looked at him with sadness and he knew how she hopelessly wished she could look into his blue eyes once again.

 

He frowned, holding her hand on his and squeezing a bit to try and pull her out of her thoughts.

 

“Aren’t ya happy I’m here?” he asked, smiling softly.

 

“Of course I am!” she smiled back, and then her eyes followed the others that were coming behind 2D right now. She grinned widely at Noodle, hugging her tight and babbling about how she had changed so much and was a full grown, beautiful woman now. She then hugged Russel, always amused at how polite and gentle he was and mentioned how his smile would fill the house with warmth.

 

Murdoc was staggering behind, dreading what he knew was coming next. And sure enough, as soon as her piercing blue eyes settled on him, her smile faded considerably.

 

“Mr. Niccals, hi. It’s been a while, huh?” she said, trying her best to be polite and force a small smile. Good manners were very important for her, but she did struggle to maintain them with this particular man. She couldn’t force herself to hug him like the others, but she did extend her arm in his direction.

 

Murdoc hesitantly raised his own hand to shake hers gently, as if she was so fragile she could break at any point. In some sense, he knew their relationship was indeed fragile and he had to be careful to make his stay as uneventful as possible.

 

“Hello Rach--uh, Mrs. Pot. Yeah, sure has. How are things goin’?”

 

 _“Things…_ are great. Yes.” She replied and then looked back at her son who was still standing on the doorway waiting for them. “Well, let’s all go in, shall we?”

 

~

 

Greeting Rachel was most definitely the easy part. Once inside, David greeted everyone, starting by Noodle and Russel who were already inside, and then he hugged 2D and patted his back lightly, smiling at him. When his eyes landed on the bassist, he couldn’t manage to be as polite as Rachel tried to be.

 

“So you came too.” he said simply.

 

“Yeah… Hi, Mr. Pot.”

 

“Dad. _Please._ I told ya the band was comin’. _All_ of ‘em.”

 

“I know. Just thought _he’d_ have the decency to find an excuse not to come.”

 

 _“Dad,_ can ya please don’t do this? He’s my mate!”

 

“Mate? _Mate?”_ David asked him, clearly not happy with the term used to refer to Murdoc.

 

“Alright, everyone, please!” Rachel interrupted and then approached David to speak to him in a quieter voice. “Honey, he’s still our guest. Remember what we talked before. I want _no fighting_ in our home.”

 

“Yes, yes, sorry honey. You know it’s not easy.”

 

“I know. But a guest is a guest. And it’s important for our Stu that everyone is treated fine.”

 

“Yeah. You’re right.”

 

They finished talking and looked back at everyone. Rachel did her best to put up a big smile and clasped her hands together.

 

“Well, who’s hungry?” she asked happily.

 

~

 

While Rachel finished preparing a late lunch, everyone settled their bags in their rooms. The house had two guest rooms, plus David and Rachel’s bedroom and 2D’s old room as well. So they had 2D stay in his old bedroom, while Noodle got a guest room just for her and Murdoc and Russel would have to share the other one.

 

When they were back downstairs, they all settled around the table for lunch and started eating Rachel’s amazing meal.

 

“So, how are things going with the band?” David asked everyone.

 

“Going great. We still didn’t start planning another album yet, but I know Murdoc works on some songs sometimes.” Russel replied.

 

“Uh… yeah. I, yeah, I’ve been working on a couple of songs. 2D helps with that part too. They might be on the next album maybe.” Murdoc added.

 

“Hm.” David replied - sort of. He then looked at 2D. “So you’ve been writing, son? Anything you can share now?”

 

“Not yet, dad. They’re far from done. But ya’ll see them eventually, yeah.”

 

“Alright then, I look forward to.”

 

They went silent for a few moments, enjoying the food for a bit. Rachel then turned to 2D, smiling very excitedly.

 

“So, dear. Tell us! Are you dating anyone?”

 

Murdoc tensed up and tried not to look in anyone’s eyes.

 

“U-um. Well…” He stuttered, having no clue what to say. Should he just lie, entirely? It wasn’t even a lie actually, considering they never really talked about going any more serious. Maybe it wasn’t a lie and he could just say no. But as he was lost in his thoughts, Russel and Noodle exchanged looks and barely contained a smile - which Rachel didn’t fail to notice.

 

“Ohhhh so you are?” She asked him, before looking back at Russel and Noodle. “Is it true, guys? Is she nice?”

 

“Well… Depends.” Noodle replied, grinning.

 

“N-no, stop it! ‘S not--” 2D started, his face completely red.

 

“Stu, sweetie, why didn’t she come too?”

 

“Uhhh…” the bluenette really didn’t know what to say at all, since technically “she” was sitting right there with them.

 

The bassist, at this point, was desperately hoping something would happen to make them change the subject. Since nothing did, he decided to do something.

 

“Mrs. Pot, the uh, food is very lovely.” he blurted out.

 

She looked surprised at hearing those words from him and it even earned him a small smile from her.

 

“Why, thank you Mr. Niccals. I’m glad you liked it.”

 

While the bassist actually did manage to divert the subject for a little bit, the topic kept insistently coming back, of course. They got no information out of anyone though, and it went fine for the most part. When they were finished, Russel insisted on washing the dishes (which Murdoc was particularly thankful for - he hated it way too much), while the other three helped clean up the table.

 

Some time later, Rachel managed to convince everyone to sit down and look at a bunch of childhood pictures of little Stu, despite his protests. He felt awkward about them. Whenever he looked at them, it felt like he was looking at another kid, specially the ones where he was very young. Brown hair, blue eyes.

 

Murdoc was also not very happy with the idea, but decided the best thing to do would be to sit down with them and participate. He was not really in a good position to go against it, after all.

 

The afternoon went on fine, with them looking at pictures, listening to Rachel (and sometimes David) tell stories about him as a kid and then just talking about the band and things they had been up to. When night settled in, they bid their goodnights and went to their rooms for some much-needed rest.

 

Later on, 2D was in the kitchen downstairs getting himself a cup of water when the front door suddenly opened and Murdoc came inside.

 

“Muds? Wot were ya doin’ outside?”

 

Murdoc walked around the kitchen island and approaching the singer who was on the other side.

 

“Couldn’t find my phone. Jus’ went to check in the car, and…” he paused, lifting up his hand and showing him the phone. “... there was the bastard, lyin’ on the floor.”

 

“Oh.”

 

A few seconds of silence later, Murdoc started turning around to exit the kitchen and go to the guest room. “Well, ‘night then dullard.”

 

A hand on his wrist prevented him though, and when he turned around he was pressed against the cabinets. 2D wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Murdoc was surprised for a moment but was more than glad to taste those lips again, kissing him back eagerly.

 

They pulled apart for a moment, still clinging to each other.

 

“If yer parents see us like this, they’ll kill me, ya know?”

 

The singer chuckled in response. “Yeah, but I miss ya.”

 

“Miss me? Whaddya talkin’ ‘bout, we were together the whole day.”

 

“No, Muds.” 2D pressed his body harder against him, grinding his half-hard erection against Murdoc’s crotch. “I miss _this.”_

 

While it certainly felt good to hear those words coming from him, for some reason it all felt weird. He pushed these thoughts away though, and decided to focus on the part of him that was turned on about the other’s actions instead.

 

“Huh. Really?” he asked him back, a smirk slowly spreading across his lips.

 

2D bit his bottom lip in a grin, one of his hands moving to tangle his fingers in between strands of black hair, leaning in closer.

 

“Wait. We shouldn’t. Not here.” Murdoc interrupted him.

 

“‘S jus’ a kiss. Go to me room later, yeah? I’ll do my best to be quiet.” he said, grinning widely at him.

 

“Think ya can? I find that hard to believe.” he grinned back.

 

They both leaned in now, their lips parting and tongues tasting every corner of their mouths. Without breaking apart, Murdoc grabbed him and turned them both around so that 2D was now pressed against the cabinets instead of him and he continued kissing him hungrily when…

 

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN’ ON HERE?” A male voice yelled at them and they jumped back, turning to see David standing just outside the kitchen looking just as mad as the time when Murdoc caused that accident to his son so many years back.

 

“D-dad! Wait, please this was ju--” He paused mid-sentence when he noticed behind David’s shoulder that his mom was also there, in pure shock, both hands covering her mouth. “Mom? Please, can I just talk to both of ya? Let him--”

 

 _“Absolutely not.”_ David said. One could clearly notice the hatred in his voice. He turned his head to look back at Rachel. “Honey, why don’t you take Stuart somewhere else? I need to have a conversation with _Murdoc_ here.” The hatred was back tenfold when he mentioned Murdoc’s name and 2D was terrified of the idea of his dad having a conversation with Murdoc. In private. About _them._

 

2D widened his eyes, looking from David to Murdoc, more anxious than ever. He noticed how the satanist was tense; fists clenched, jaw shut tight and eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Dad, please don’t do this. I can--”

 

 _“--Now,_ Stuart.”

 

The singer looked at Murdoc one more time, but he didn’t look back at him. The bassist heard a whispered _“Sorry”_ before 2D started walking away, to where his mother was standing. She seemed very disappointed and devastated; it was hard to look. Rachel motioned with her hand for him to follow her upstairs and he did.

 

When they were gone, Murdoc realized the deadly gaze David had on him the entire time and he knew what was coming next was going to be far from pleasant.

 

 _‘Fuckin’ great.’,_ he thought. _‘Jus’ fuckin’ great.’_

 

 

 

 


	12. The Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so kind with my delay last time!
> 
> Here's one more chapter, hope you like it. <3

 

 

 

David was pacing slowly around the living room, in silence. Murdoc approached him carefully while still maintaining some distance, just in case.

 

“Mr. Pot, I--”

 

“Shut. The hell. Up.”

 

And he did. He usually wasn’t one to obey others like this, but he was well aware of the position he was in right now. He knew he had fucked up their son’s life to some extent, although in his mind he thought he made up for it with the band and the fame that came with it. Still, he knew his parents hated him deeply, and if that wasn’t enough already, he had to be caught in the act, basically shoving his tongue down their precious son’s mouth, right beneath their roof. So this time, if he was told to be quiet, he would be.

 

David was staring at him now, the hatred in his eyes making Murdoc grow even more uncomfortable.

 

“When is it going to be enough for you, huh? When are you going to stop and think  _ ‘yeah, maybe I fucked up his life enough already’?” _

 

“It’s… ‘s not like that.”

 

“Not like that? How is it, then? You tell me!”

 

He thought over what to say and specially on how to get out of this situation in the best possible way, considering he didn’t have many options at all. He just wished time travel was one of them. He would’ve saved that kiss in the kitchen for a few minutes later inside the safety of 2D’s room and then everything would’ve been perfectly fine. Wouldn’t it?

 

“Well believe it or not, it’s not like I have bad intentions or anythin’.” 

 

“Well,  _ believe it or not,” _ he repeated mockingly, “I  _ don’t _ believe you. You treat him like he’s… like he owes you somethin’ or - or like he’s your puppet, for God’s sake!”

 

“He’s not! He’s not any of that, he’s... he’s my mate. I don’ w--”

 

_ “Mate? _ That’s what I don’t get, he called you his  _ mate _ before, and now you… You see, last time I checked, mates didn’t do…” he waved his hand to the spot the two of them were before, making out against the cabinets. “...  _ that _ kind of thing!” he finished saying. Something crossed David’s mind for a moment after saying that and he continued.

 

“Wait… wait a minute. Did you…?” he started, still trying to make sense of everything. “Did you try to convince him to do that, or something? That he should do  _ that  _ with you to prove you’re friends or some bullshit?”

 

“Wot? No! I didn’t-- We never said anythin’ like that, no!”

 

“Well, even if you didn’t explicitly say those words, I wouldn’t be surprised if you have manipulated my son into thinking this was something he  _ had _ to accept from you.”

 

“I didn’t do anything!” Murdoc replied, his voice a bit louder than he intended it to be.

 

“Didn’t do anything, huh? Just like you also didn’t simply decide one day to ram-raid the shop my son worked at? Ruining his eyes, breaking his teeth, putting him into a  _ coma, _ for God’s sake!”

 

“I--” he tried speaking, but David ignored him completely and continued.

 

“You didn’t ruin his relationship with Paula, too? Didn’t manipulate her into having sex with you right under his nose? You… you didn’t purposefully screwed up other relationships too? You didn’t treat him like shit and beat him up during all those years? Didn’t kidnap him and locked him up God-knows-where and threatened him if he tried to escape? Didn’t put him in constant danger? You didn’t almost  _ kill him _ once?!”

 

_ ‘No, I didn’t.’  _ he wanted to say.  _ ‘That’s all bollocks. All of those. We made those up.’  _ Instead, he kept quiet. The made up story was kept secret for a reason anyway and _ fuck, _ it pained him to do so.

 

“You have no idea how many times I was coerced by my wife or by Stuart to refrain from pressing charges against you or send the police after you. And as if all of that was not enough, you decided to change your game into… whatever the hell this is! Why? Why him? I always thought you had tons of women flocking to you all the time, for you to just use and discard one after the other. And even if they know you won’t take them seriously, they  _ still  _ go after you. For reasons I would never,  _ ever _ come close to understanding, but still. You had options. Everywhere. Why  _ my son?!” _

 

“Um. Mr. Pot, I--”

 

“Don’t  _ ‘Mr. Pot’ _ me. You’re not even like that, you don’t have good manners or anything, so don’t try to pretend like you do.”

 

“Uh… should I call ya David then?”

 

“You shouldn’t sodding call me  _ anything! _ You shouldn’t even  _ be _ here! Why did you not stay back? Could’ve avoided this. Couldn’t prevented my wife from seeing her son like  _ that  _ with  _ you.  _ Just… _ Why  _ didn’t you stay back, huh?”

 

“I tried. I did, but he insisted.”

 

David scoffed at that, pacing in the dining room from side to side in front of the bassist. “Yeah. I figured. And this is the worst part, I would say.”

 

Murdoc wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that and his facial expression showed just how confused he was. David sighed and continued.

 

“You somehow made him think you’re his friend. And now, even worse, you apparently made him think he has to allow you to… Guhh, I don’t even want to think about it. You  _ disgust _ me.”

 

“Look here sir, with all due respect, I didn’t force him to do anything. He’s an adult.”

 

“Oh that’s not what I’m talking about. As I said, you  _ manipulate _ him. You’ve always had. All those months, years ago when you were pestering him  _ constantly _ to convince him to ignore everything you did to him and join your band as if nothing’s happened! And then you go ahead and fuck up his life even more, on a daily basis! Ah… you know what?!”

 

At this point, Murdoc’s mind was rushing through a million confusing thoughts and even though he desperately wanted to defend himself, part of him also thought he didn’t deserve it. David took one step closer to him, gritting his teeth as he said the following words.

 

“You’re a soddin’  _ parasite  _ that does nothing but leech on my son’s happiness.”

 

That hurt. Boy, did that hurt.

 

But even though he felt like it was true, it seemed unfair, somehow. The true story was that most of those things never actually happened in real life. It was all part of a once questionably brilliant idea to get extra attention from the media. As the band followed with the backstory plan for years and years, it was always crucial that everyone was always on page about details of the storyline and also to make sure that outsiders would not know about the truth at all. 

 

It was specially important considering the famous “Paula incident”, which snowballed into other lies that they never really wanted to get into. Amongst the four of them, he was the one that was most concerned about maintaining the story convincing and not telling it to anyone else, not even loved ones. 

 

And now, as usual, the lies were coming back to haunt them; to haunt  _ him.  _ He pondered for a moment on whether or not he should open up to David and tell him the truth in a desperate attempt of not seeming like he was such an awful threat to his son. Stuart deserved this, didn’t he?

 

The problem was, he knew that even though he didn’t really do some of those terrible things, the very beginning of their story was very real. The ‘accident’ was not only clear in Murdoc’s own memories, but he also had the very obvious, undeniable evidence looking back at him every single day since then. Looking back with those huge, fractured eyes that he never saw anywhere else besides visual representations of demons and other evil entities across many cultures.

 

In contrast to them, however, 2D was far from evil. Not a pure soul by any means, but still with a great heart despite his flaws. And those same eyes one could find in those depictions of devilish creatures somehow managed to look eerily beautiful on 2D, as if nothing could really make him look any less stunning.

 

Still, it plagued him to know he was the cause of such irreparable damages, even if part of him selfishly thought the pitch-black eyes suited him oh-so-perfectly.

 

He concluded in the end that even if he told Mr. Tusspot the truth behind many of those stories and David managed to miraculously forgive him for the one that was true… what was the point, really? He knew the singer’s true intentions after all;  _ ‘jus’ shagging’.  _

 

It was too much at this point. Ever since he heard 2D say those words a two weeks ago, everything was getting worse and worse with each passing day. He couldn't understand it very well in the beginning why it hurt him so much. Every day he would come closer to the conclusion that it would be better for him to just end things before he was so deep into it that he would drown in his sorrows. 

 

Suddenly, as if connecting the last piece of a puzzle, one thing became very clear for him.

 

“I love ‘im.” he said quietly, after being in silence for so long. It was simultaneously directed to David but mostly to himself. It seemed too absurd to be true, at first. Murdoc Niccals, falling in love with 2D of all people, after barely two months of making out and sex? It should’ve taken him a lot more than that for such a thing to even begin to develop, he thought. 

 

But the fact is,  _ it did. _ It wasn’t just these past two months. They’ve known each other for a ridiculous amount of time already and he could easily say he knew more about the singer than he did of anyone else he’s met in his life. And to be honest, 2D was probably the person who knew him the best, too. More than any other friend or relative. It was only natural that whatever feeling of affection he had before would intensify that much after being so intimate with each other as they’ve been these past six or so weeks.

 

It was now David’s turn to go silent for a few good seconds. He looked at him wide-eyed, clearly not expecting to hear those words from  _ him. _

 

“You…  _ love _ him?” he asked, but even though he would usually expect it to be a manipulative lie coming from Murdoc, it was clear in the bassist’s eyes that it was not. David never thought he would see him with this kind of facial expression; lacking confidence, lacking happiness, but so overly filled with an intense emotional turmoil.

 

“Yeah…” he said in a small voice, his mind still trying to make sense of all of this. “Yeah. I uh, never loved anyone before. So believe me, I’m jus’ as surprised as ya. To me, he’d be the least likely person in the world to manage this.  _ Heh. _ Anyway, go on, hate me even more now, but yeah. It’s true. Now that bein’ said, ya don' have to worry, cos’ he doesn't love me back.”

 

He noticed how David had a puzzled look on his face but couldn’t quite reply to what he was saying anymore. He knew he probably wanted some more reassurance than that, so he went into a bit more detail.

 

“I know that. He  _ said _ it. He was right fuckin’ next to me when he said that this was  _ nothing.”  _ he said, feeling his chest tighten.  _ ‘Nothing but shagging’  _ he completed in his mind without uttering the words. David certainly didn’t need to hear this part.

 

"That... You're lying. You're either lying or mistaken. I don't think you're even capable of loving anyone but yourself. How could you even  _ know?" _

 

"That dullard’s all I think 'bout. All the fuckin' time. I wanna see him happy and all that shit. I wanna protect him, which ya might find very  _ irrrronic, _ I bet. But I do and ya can bet yer ass it’s not bullshit. Cos y’know wot? Even after sayin' all of that jus’ now, ‘s like I didn’t get even close to explainin’ it, so. Yeah."

 

David was quite shocked at those words, as would be expected. He would never guess the satanist would actually be  _ spot on _ when explaining why he was so sure what he was feeling was love. Of course it had to be said with a bunch of swear words, but he still got the concept out. After Murdoc finished his little speech, he paused one more time, something in his expression showing he was clearly bothered by something.

 

“But,” he started, grabbing David’s attention back. “Ya got one thing right, I’ll give ya that. I never really wanted more than one-night-stands. I wos never the kinda bloke who takes my partners seriously or wotever. Never really loved any of ‘em, but still. Guess ya don’ have to worry. ‘M gonna end this.” He paused, swallowing hard. It was harder than usual to maintain his confident attitude, but he managed to do it. “Jus’... Not tonight, I’ll… I’ll do it tomorrow.” he finally said, choking a bit on his words as he got to the end. 

 

His head was a mess. This realization made him angry, specially because he felt like he could barely recognize himself. There was no denying that he fell in love and he accepted it, sure, but to actually go ahead and want to be in a relationship with the singer? Hell no. Never. He was sure of it, despite feeling his eyes, for some unknown reason, stinging and burning - the sensation alien and terrifying to him. He didn’t really remember the last time he cried unless he was completely shitfaced. 

 

He managed to keep the tears in, though. He was used to holding back his cries from when he was just a kid, so it wasn’t hard for him at all. And he  _ would _ keep them in. He’d never cry over something so dumb. Or worse, over some bloke. Even worse,  _ over 2D. _

 

What he failed to notice was that David could tell. David saw his eyes getting watery just by the subtle glint he now had in them, which was rapidly beginning to fade. Barely there, but he caught on.

 

Before he could say anything else, Murdoc sighed. “If that will be all, Mr. Pot, I’d like to go back to my room.” he said, emotionless now with his mask back on. It was odd to watch this forced overly-polite way of speaking that was so uncharacteristic to the satanist.

 

David, still speechless and confused, only managed to nod. It was way too much information to absorb and he didn’t quite know what to do with it.

 

As the bassist exited the room, David thought that despite the obvious state of confusion he was in, the conversation had been somewhat successful. The image of the damned demon bassist taking advantage of his son in that vile way right in the middle of their kitchen was enough to know it was all for the best.

  
  
  


 

 

… Right?

 

 

 


	13. The Truth

 

 

 

**June 22nd, 1988.**

 

It was a warm and beautiful summer day in Crawley and the Pot’s residence was uncharacteristically calm. Little Stuart Pot, 10 years old, was always running around, climbing trees, jumping from place to place and making their parents worry. They would scold him again and again, worried that one day something more serious could happen to their precious only son.

 

But today was not one of those days, as the little boy was oddly quiet in his room for quite some time, which actually made Rachel worried that this could be, as they say, the calm before the storm. Just to be sure, she went up the stairs and to his room, knocking on his bedroom door softly before making her way in.

 

“Stu? So quiet today, what are you up to?” she asked, a loving smile on her face when she saw him sprawled on the floor, a few sheets of paper and coloured pencils surrounding him while he worked on one of them. It wasn’t very common for him to draw, but every now and then, when he got bored of energetic activities, he would do something like this instead.

 

“I’m makin’ a drawing, mum!! Look, look. ’s us.” he said, his bright blue eyes gleaming with excitement.

 

The drawing was practically finished - all family members in front of a generic house and equally generic sun, tree and clouds, all in vivid colours. He started pointing with his finger to each figure, proudly explaining his masterpiece, as if it really needed any explaining.

 

“Here, this is dad. He’s in his uniform from the Fairground, see? And, and this is you, mom! And yer in yer nurse uniform too. Aaaand I’m here in the middle. With my melodica! See, see that?! I don' have a uniform tho, cos I don' think musicians wear any, right mum? Jus' sum weird lookin' stuff sometimes, but I think I wanna jus' wear like, pants and some cool T-shirts. Yea. I’m gonna be faaaamous one day!”

 

She chuckled in response while gently caressing his brown hair. “I’m sure you will, sweetie, with that talent of yours. And if I may add, one day it’ll be your children making a drawing like this. Of your own family.”

 

“Mooom, stop sayin that!” he said, even though he was laughing at what she had said.

 

“But it’s true! I know, I know you don’t want to think about it now of course, but one day you’ll meet a beautiful woman who will eventually be your wife, you know?”

 

“Hm. Maybe, but she has t’be in my band too then.”

 

She chuckled one more time. “Sure, Stu.”

  
  


~

  
  


**Present days.**

 

It was the same bedroom as back then, and the same two people were having a conversation around a pretty similar theme. One thing that was surely different was the atmosphere. He was a pile of nerves a minute ag as he was walking upstairs, following his mother without saying a word. She was now sat on the edge of the bed, not looking at him in the eye as he sat beside her, nervously fiddling with the hem of his left sleeve.

 

“Mom, I--” he started saying shakily, but she raised her hand gently, wordlessly asking for him to wait as she tried gathering her thoughts. She had a sad expression on her face that was painful to watch, specially since 2D knew he was the cause of it to some extent. He waited patiently for her to take the next step, whatever it was. When she knew she could refrain from crying, she began talking.

 

“Stu… Stu, my dear, what in the world was happening down there?”

 

“Mom. I… I wish ya hadn’t seen that.  _ ‘M sorry.  _ Please, I don’ want ya ta be sad.” he said, reaching for her hand hesitantly. She let him take her hand in his and he held it firmly, rubbing a thumb over her skin soothingly.

 

“I just want to  _ understand _ it. Is… is he making you do that? You know you don’t have to agree to--”

 

“--Mom, he’s not making me do anythin’! I swear, ‘s not like that. ‘M not a kid, yanno. I know ‘s hard for ya to believe it but he… he’d never do that to me.”

 

He was right, she didn’t really seem to believe him. Or rather, she believed that that’s what her son believed in, but her heart felt tight with concern over him. She wanted to kick Murdoc out of their house and keep Stuart there to protect him against any other ill-intended doings that might come from the devil bassist.

 

“Listen. He’s not as bad as ya think. The things…” he stopped himself mid-sentence, and just as Murdoc did, he was also debating on whether or not he should say the truth about everything. 

 

“Sweetie, he’s not good for you! Please tell me it’s… Um, I don’t know, just a  _ thing  _ that happened, or... a uh, thing you experimented with just for fun or something and… and that you’re not really  _ dating _ him or anything.  _ Oh God…” _

 

“I, uh… I dunno, well, it wasn’t just o-once, but… I dunno if I can explain this.” he said, extremely embarrassed to be talking about this with none other than his own mother. Upon hearing this sort of thing didn’t happen only once, Rachel felt like she was about to cry; her heart was almost in pain and her eyes were burning with the tears that were about to emerge.

 

“How… how long has this been going on for?”

 

“Uh, I don’ really know… Lemme see. The first… well, it depends on wot would be the start, um… A lil’ bit more than two months I think.”

 

“Oh my. Two? Did-- Oh, nevermind.” Rachel almost instinctively asked him if they had ‘done it’, but she was way too afraid of hearing the answer. Given that it was this long already, and specially considering the two people she was talking about, it was practically impossible to get a ‘no’ for an answer. 

 

And then, if that was the case, what kind of nasty, sinful things could that demon bass player have done to her precious son? No, she couldn’t think about that. She wouldn’t. She pushed those thoughts away and decided to try a different direction in their conversation.

 

“Well, um… are you seeing anyone else? Isn’t there someone,  _ anyone _ else?” she tried, desperately.

 

“We uh, have been kind of exclusive so far, but not that we said anythin’ ‘bout having to be or uh… I dunno, I jus’ think we kept goin’ and didn’t really go out with anyo--”

 

“--But sweetie, don’t you see? This… this can be harmful to your image, too. Imagine if people found out about this and, and it went published everywhere! You know how those reporters are, don’t you? Imagine all those beautiful women reading news like that, or even seeing pictures, _ oh my! _ You might ruin your chances with so many--”

 

“--Mom,  _ please! _ No one knows. To be fair, up until recently not even Russ or Noods knew ‘bout this either. We kept it a secret so far. If that’s yer concern, ya don’ hafta worry ‘bout that.” He tried to reassure her as best as he could, even though he was now increasingly worried that she would ask him how they found out. He certainly could not go into further explanation about  _ that, _ of all things.

 

Suddenly, something seemed to have popped up in her mind and Rachel had a new look on her face - a mix of hope and desperation in her eyes.

 

“Stu. You know, I was just thinking. Why not Noodle? I mean, if being in the same band makes it easier, you have this beautiful young woman living with you, and she’s so smart, so kind and--”

 

“--Mum. Um. I’m gonna stop ya right there, sorry. That’s... too weird. She’s beautiful and smart and all o’that yeah, but she’s like… like my little sister or my daughter or… Something weird in between. She was just a child when she came to us! I love her, but not like…  _ that…” _ he trailed off, his thoughts going somewhere else and his gaze becoming unfocused.

 

They both stopped talking for a few moments, their hands gently held together. She raised an arm, her hand touching one of his cheeks as she caressed his skin, softly. She had a special look in her eyes, something that maybe only a parent can express. It showed just how much she loved him and cared about him, but it also showed how deeply she  _ knew _ him too.

 

“Stu… do you love... him?” her voice was quiet, careful, as if she was afraid that the mere act of mentioning those words could somehow make it true; like a forbidden magic spell.

 

He widened his eyes and felt his cheeks burning. Rachel could feel the warmth from his skin and the confirmation to her suspicions was right there, beneath her fingers. He opened his mouth to say something, closing it again a couple of seconds later. It was obvious he was confused about it and this was probably the first time he actually thought about that.

 

“You don’t have to answer me. It’s… fine.” she said. “I just… I wish you would feel this for someone who would treat you like you deserve, honey. He’s done so many horrible things to you. I… I’m sorry but as a mother who loves you _ so,  _ so much I just can’t be happy about this. It’s not good for you. Stu, please…” She looked like she was on the verge of tears now, although she tried hard to suppress them. Her blue eyes looked even more intense from the contrast with the slight redness her watery eyes now displayed.

 

2D thought one more time about all the lies they have told the world and how much they have affected their lives. Specially the way they were affecting them right now. Unlike before, he considered the circumstances to be particularly unfavourable and therefore worth further explaining.

 

“Mum, I... have a secret ta tell ya. But please,  _ please _ don’ tell anyone. Can ya do that?”

 

She furrowed her eyebrows, a bit uneasy to think about what kind of secret he wanted to tell her, but she made sure to nod and encourage him to keep going. 

 

He took a deep breath. “Okay, so... the things ya’ve heard about all that’s happened to the four of us, the band… Well, quite a lot of them are not true. I mean, some pretty weird things are still true. Like, Russ gettin’ possessed and all, and… and Noodle coming to us in a FedEx crate...” he said, getting a bit off-track as he so often did. 

 

“What are you saying, Stu?” she said, turning around fully to look in his eyes.

 

“Wot I’m sayin’ is… Yanno how we told everyone that I’ve been in a coma fer a whole year and all?”

 

“Oh my, I don’t even like to think about this! One week was already way too much for us, you know that!” she said, getting stressed about the memory of this all over again.

 

“Yeah, that’s wot I mean. We told everyone it was a whole year, when ya know it was actually jus’ one week.”

 

“Yes, and I still think that was completely unnecessary! Using a lie should not be the way to be more successful. You know me and your father never approved this, don’t you?”

 

“I know, I know. But yer missin’ the point, mom.”

 

“What do you mean, missing the point?”

 

“So, um. Just like this lie, well… we created many others. Like, the thing with Paula never happened. Murdoc didn’t do that. He didn’t kidnap me or hit me or anythin’ like that either. We fought a lot, yeah, like arguing ‘n stuff. All the time actually. But he never hit me or abused me or anythin’ awful like that. A lot of those things were jus’ for the buzz, yanno? It’s stupid, I know, and I-I don’ even think it makes any sense now and I would neva’ do that again if we were to start over, ‘s jus’... we were young and stupid and desp--” 

 

“-- Wh--? Wait, but… Wait, you… you’re saying all of those things...?”

 

“They were made up. Um… sorry, mum. I’m really,  _ really _ sorry I lied t’you and dad.”

 

She gasped, her eyes widening while frowning at the revelation. “I… I can’t believe this. That lie was already… It was-- Stu, how could you do this? This is way too much, haven’t we taught you about not lying? Oh my God!”

 

“I know mum, it’s… I mean, it was supposed to be just an idea to get more attention. It should’ve been harmless but we went a bit too far with it, I know... but, well, it worked. I regret that, but it worked and… Again, I’m sorry I made ya ‘n dad suffer ‘cause of this. I can tell ya more later, but that’s not the point right now. I’m jus’ sayin’ he’s  _ not _ a bad guy. Murdoc is… He’s jus’ a twat but he never hurt me.”

 

“Never hurt you? He ran over you with his car, Stu! I remember that all too well, that’s no lie!”

 

“He did, yeah. It was wrong and he wanted to steal stuff from the shop, I know. But he never  _ meant _ to hurt me. It was an accident. And I… I know he still feels guilty. Like, he doesn’t like talkin’ ‘bout it. Not outside the interviews where he puts on this… this  _ mask _ and tries to joke about that situation. It’s all actin’ tho, and I do the same thing. All the actin’. But when it’s jus’ us, he can’t look me in the eye and talk ‘bout that. I can see how he never got over wot happened.”

 

“I… I didn’t know that. But… well, so yer sayin’ he’s not as bad as we thought, huh? Stu...” she reached for his hands again, giving them a light squeeze and bent over, getting a few inches closer to his face.  _ “Please _ tell me you’re not making this up just so you can defend him, dear. I just… don’t know what to believe anymore. I want-- no, I  _ need _ you to be honest with me.”

 

It definitely hurt him to know he was disappointing his mother and making her suffer this much. He lifted her hands up to his lips, kissing the back of them gently and looking at her in the eye. “Mum. I swear. Everythin’ I’m sayin’ now is true. ‘M not jus’ defendin’ him. Ya know ‘bout the coma lie already. And ya can ask Noodle or Russel too.” 

 

“Okay… Okay, I believe you.” she said, her thumbs caressing his hands before continuing. “So… does that mean…?”

 

2D sighed, looking down to their hands. “It doesn’ matter. ‘S my first time actually realisin’ all o’ this but I know nothin’ else would happen anyway... He wouldn’ feel anythin’ like that for me. ‘S not his...  _ style _ or woteva. He’s not into serious stuff. That part is still true, so.”

 

It hurt her to see her son sad like this and she wished she could do something to make it go away. Not knowing what else to say, she leaned in and hugged him tight; a type of hug that almost made all the problems go away. Almost.

 

After a few more moments enjoying the loving embrace from his mother, 2D took a deep breath and slowly let go.

 

“Mom, do ya mind… um, sorry, ‘m jus’ tired… today was... a lot.”

 

“It’s okay sweetie. We can talk some other time, alright?”

 

“Sure…”

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


_ [11:27pm] 2D: _

> Muds

> can you come? my room

 

_ [11:29pm] Murdoc: _

> dont think thats a good idea

 

_ [11:29pm] 2D: _

> we have to talk

> I wanna know what happened there

> you and my dad

> pls 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just thanking my previous self for having written large chunks of future chapters in advance. So now my current self is just editing, making some changes here and there, and then posting. 
> 
> I'm also wishing good luck to my future self cause after this one, I'm about two chapters away from having to go back to full writing mode. Plz send positive vibes in the direction of Western Canada so that she (herkerina from the future) can summon a literature muse and finish writing a quality ending, yeah?
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely comments!! They're basically my muse <3


	14. The Last Night

 

 

 

**November 12th, 1998.**

 

The sun had just begun to set and the members of the newly formed band, Gorillaz, had just finished rehearsing for one of the first times since the newest member, little Noodle, joined them. Little by little, they were starting to settle for a routine of getting to know each other better, writing songs and practicing.

 

Back in 2D’s room at Kong Studios, the singer and the bassist were sitting on 2D’s bed, drinking beer and just hanging out as they would usually do - more frequently since they started living together.

 

Murdoc was even more excited than he had been in the past about the band and their future; his pointy teeth showing in a big smile as he gestured with his hands, spilling some beer over the sheets - not that 2D cared, anyway.

 

“And then ya jus’ hafta wear some artistic makeup, yanno? For the interviews and concerts, always.”

 

“Murdoc, I’m not gonna pretend I’m a zombie, that’s ridiculous. ‘S too much effort and I don’ even think we need tha’ much crazy stuff besides wot we already have.” he said, taking another swig of his beer.

 

“But think ‘bout it! It would explain why ya luv these zombie flicks so much.”

 

“Or maybe, err, I dunno, I jus’  _ like them _ as people normally do?”

 

“Yer luv fer zombie movies is anythin’  _ but _ normal, mate.”

 

“Oh shuddup.” he grinned and pushed him away playfully. 

 

“Ya jus’ don’ wanna admit that it would be yer dream come true, ain’t that right?” he said, grinning back while trying (and failing) to steal his beer. 

 

“Oi, jus’ finish yer own beer, y’twat!” he said, chugging what was left in his bottle before looking back at Murdoc. “Or I’m gonna eat yer brain instead, so careful there”. 

 

“Ha! So y’admit I’m right about yer freaky obsssssessions, huh? Think I don’ know ya by now, ya sod?”

 

“Fuck off, I got some blackmail material on ya too!” They both laughed, and 2D stood up and went to his minibar to grab the last two bottles he had stored inside.

 

“Last ones. We gotta buy sum more tomorrow.”

 

“Umhmm.” Murdoc replied, his mind drifting off somewhere else, signaling that he was planning weird things for the band again. “Oh! I know!” he said grinning at the singer and motioning for him to sit down by his side again, which he did, right after opening both bottles for them.

 

“Wot now?”

 

“So, forget zombie 2D. But! Listen to this.” he said and then paused for dramatic effect, which didn’t really work as he only got a lifted eyebrow as a reaction. “Cyborg 2D!”

 

“Huh?!”

 

“Cyborg 2D! Instead of sayin’ ya died and came back as a zombie, we can say ya died and I rebuilt ya as a cyborg! Isn’t that amazin’?”

 

“Stop tryna kill me in those!”

 

“Ugh, fine, fine. So maybe ya could, let’s see…” he began, leaning back against the wall next to the bed and crossing arms over his stomach, hand still wrapped around the bottle. His gaze was up, lost somewhere in the room while he tried to think of something else.

 

“How ‘bout not makin’ up any more shit ‘bout me? There’s more than enough stuff ‘bout me already and I don’ wanna have ta remember so much.”

 

“Yer ruinin’ my brilliant ideas, yanno that?”

 

2D merely rolled his eyes at that, not bothering to answer.

 

“Okay but that cyborg stuff really  _ is _ a great idea, innit? I might save that one for later. Who knows, right?”

 

“Woteva, we’ll see. Any other ideas?”

 

“Huh. Sure, how ‘bout… Aliens have--”

 

“No.”

 

“Ya didn’t even hear this one out!”

 

“Sounds stupid already.”

 

“Oh fuck off, yer not even helpin’.”

 

“I’m jus’ filterin’ them down, which is highly regarded work, mind ya. Gimme yer next one.”

 

He squinted his eyes, staring at him for a few moments, as if trying to read if 2D was just making fun of him or not. “Are ya gonna take it seriously?”

 

“I  _ am _ takin’ it seriously.”

 

“Fine.” he said, now shifting his position so that he was sitting right across from 2D and he leaned in slightly forward, trying to be as convincing as possible with the next suggestions that he was about to give for their backstory. “So, Russel is a professional ballerina whose dreams--”

 

“--Hell no.”

 

“Ugh. Okay uh, so Noodle came to us as the unexpected result of a recipe for bread that Russ wos tr--”

 

“--Wot da fuck? She literally came in a Fedex crate, like  _ for real, _ isn’t that enough already?”

 

“Alright, fine! This one then: researchers have found  _ my sweat _ to be a natural aphrodisiac, which meant--” 

 

“--Ew gross, yer not soddin’ serious, are ya?”

 

“Well, it could be true, yanno? I wouldn’t be surprised.”. His trademark smirk took over his features once again, making both of them laugh.

 

“Yer so stupid Muds.” 2D said while giggling, before bringing the bottle of beer to his lips again, finishing yet another one.

 

The bassist grinned back, “Yer da one who’s stupid mate, and I got proof! Remember that day when ya--” he paused for a moment when his phone beeped and he reached for it, noticing a new text. And there it was, the smirk again.

 

“Wot’re ya smilin’ ‘bout?”

 

“Pulled this gorgeous bird, ya wouldn’t believe!”

 

“Who? Ya went out with her?”

 

“Not yet, but with this last text she sent me, she jumped rrrrrright into my fishin’ net! That wos a hard one, fuckin’ finally! She wos playin’ hard ta get, so I thought it wouldn’t happen, but  _ this!” _ he gestured to his phone, not really showing the content of the messages, which 2D was in fact thankful for. 

 

“Ya must really like her, huh?”

 

The satanist was about to type in his reply, but stopped midway to look at the singer and explode laughing, which only made him confused.

 

“Hahh… Oh that was a good one. But mate, Murdoc Niccals doesn’t do  _ that.” _

 

“”That”?”

 

_ “”That”,  _ meaning, this romance bollocks.”

 

“Why not? ‘S not a bad thing.”

 

“Not fer me. Too much of a hassle, really. I prefer ta have my own space, my own freedom, yanno? I go after them for the shaggin’, that’s all.” he said, proudly.

 

“Wot, so ya never fell in love with anyone?”

 

“Nope. And I never will.”

 

“Ya can’t say never. Ya never know. Maybe one day ya will meet someone special. Someone who doesn’ make ya feel trapped, if that’s yer concern.”

 

“There’s no such person in the entire universe, ‘D. They’re all like  _ ‘ohh no I’m different from the other girls, I’m like, suuuper cool with ya havin’ yer own space, ‘m not even jealous and shit’ _ and then some stupid blokes believe that so fuckin’ blindly they don’ even realise the girl is growlin’ at every other female that comes somewot close to them. And next thing y’know, they’re spending Christmas with her folks and her very inconvenient  _ uncle Morgan _ and his boring-ass explanations about the origins of the word ‘tundra’ that literally _ no-one _ asked for, and if y’think it’ll end with the end of dinner,  _ nooooo-hoho yer wrong, _ ya’ll blink and find yerself watchin’ shitty operas and goin’ to bakin’ classes together. And when y’don’ call them for a few days after all of tha’? Hah!  _ Then _ ya see who those psychos really are, mate. So thanks but no thanks, I’ll jus’ shag them and then fuck off.”

 

2D blinked a few times.

 

“That was… oddly specific.”

 

“Dunno wot yer talkin’ about. I jus’ made that up as I was sayin’ it.”

 

“Right. So... ya never really dated, like, long term?”

 

“Are ya done with the interview now?”

 

“‘M jus’ curious!”

 

“Well no, never. There weren’t even that many times I repeated a shag with the same person, maybe just a few. There’s no point ta that or datin’ and all that shit. Openin’ up to a person, lettin’ them into yer life, losin’ ya freedom and yer mind, only ta be screwed or dumped in the end? I’ll jus’ have the good bits,  _ gracias.” _

 

2D couldn’t answer to that. To some extent, that is what just happened to him and even though he was not madly in love with Paula as the relationship was nearing its end, he still liked her quite a lot - and suffered with the ending and with its consequences. The pain was visible in his features, and Murdoc noticed that.

 

“Ah, fuck. Hey. Sorry, too soon, yeah? ‘S been wot, almost two weeks?”

 

“Four. Almost five I think.”

 

“Oh. That much?”

 

“Feels so recent tho.”

 

Murdoc took a deep breath and put a hand on his shoulder. “Mate… Yanno, ‘m jus’ sayin’... I think ya should let go. Do like I do! Enjoy the good stuff, yeah? ‘S gonna get even better when we become  _ real  _ famous. We just did our first concert, so soon ya will have lots of birds gettin’ in line for a piece of ya.”

 

It didn’t sound particularly appealing to 2D at first, but he felt like he needed to let go indeed, as Murdoc suggested. Maybe if he tried, he’d get used to it and be as cool with just shagging women as Murdoc is. Maybe the band, the fame and the sex would all be a good enough distraction to prevent him from getting a broken heart, ever again.

 

But maybe, just maybe… One of those future meaningless shags that were never meant to be anything… could lead to something more.

  
  
  


 

~

  
  


 

**Present days.**

 

What is it that makes Murdoc Niccals who he is? Not an easy question to answer, even though it rarely is anyway. It’s not exactly simple to define ourselves with just a few words. ‘Tough’ could be one. Smart, surely. Angry? Skillful bass player, certainly. Aggressive? Strategizer. Womanizer. Satanist. Brilliant. Crazy. Shady. Mysterious. More words could be added to the list, but is the list a constant? Is it never-changing? Are those words all there is to him?

 

He has always thought it was easy to define himself. He knew, his friends knew, his fans knew. So why is it that now he feels like he has no idea who he is? 

 

Murdoc doesn’t get along with 2D. Murdoc would never fall in love. Murdoc hates commitment. Murdoc loves casual sex. With as many non-repeating people as possible.

 

It used to be simple, like a script to follow. But now, as it seems, the plot has changed. His role has changed. He has no idea what his lines and queues are or how to play his part. 

 

He would have to leave his attempt to find himself again for a different time though, as right now he was much too focused on the stunning bluenette that had all limbs wrapped around him as he moved against him in a tight embrace. Skin on skin, breaths hitching as they moved slowly and moaned quietly, trying their best to keep the noise down.

 

After they texted each other, Murdoc sneaked into his bedroom and avoided the subject that 2D tried talking about. He didn’t want to say much about his conversation with David; there wasn’t much to be said, he figured. 

 

More importantly, he had more pressing matters to take care of. He knew he would have to end things the next day. It was not doing him good anymore. Sure, the physical part was amazing, but he knew it was coming to an end soon one way or another. Such a thing would never seem like a problem to him with past shags; it was good that they came to an end, since it meant he was still as free as ever.

 

He ignored the tightness in his chest. Time was not on his side now; he couldn’t waste it thinking about how perfectly fine he should be with putting a full-stop to this. Rather than trying to make sense of his own pain, he figured he should make those last hours more productive and at least have an amazing last night together; a few moments of pretending everything was okay. The calm before the storm.

 

It felt wonderful to have him again like this, he thought as he pressed deeper inside him, feeling the singer tightening himself around him. 2D was biting his lips and trying very hard not to moan loudly as he normally would. Instead of those, the singer whimpered and moaned quietly, eliciting such seductive little sounds only for him to hear. It was different, new. He couldn’t help but wonder what other possible new things they could’ve discovered together if only time  _ was _ on their side.

 

Murdoc admired the view beneath him, taking in every inch of his body, memorizing everything about him. He would still see him everyday, sure, but not like  _ this. _

 

“Mine…” he said in a low voice, the words escaping before he thought too much about it.

 

2D opened his eyes that were shut tight just seconds ago, looking at him and trying to understand what he had just said.

 

“Tell me yer mine.” he said, desperately wanting to hear those words and pretend they were actually true.

 

The singer widened his eyes slightly, a bit surprised at this - and threaded his fingers into his black, soft hair. “‘m yours, Muds.”

 

He groaned and sped up his thrusts a bit more. “Again.”

 

“‘m all yours. O-only yours.” he moaned, moving his hips to meet Murdoc’s even harder.

 

“Ngh… Yeah… yeah, yer mine.”

 

“hahh… Muds, I-- I want ya ta bite me. Bite all over me. M-mark me as yours.”

 

And he did. He moved his mouth all around his chest, his sides, his shoulders, biting and sucking him hard and earning soft, quiet moans from the singer. He tasted every bit of his skin, fascinated by how fast the bruises from the biting and sucking would start showing.

 

After some time he moved back up, thrusting into him harder as 2D kept repeating that he was his, all his and no one else’s, until he felt his orgasm fast approaching and pounded into him faster, releasing his cum inside him.

 

Knowing 2D hadn’t come yet, he didn’t waste much more time. He knew he was close too, which is why 2D was confused when he slid out of him so fast. A few more thrusts and he would be there too, he thought.

 

“I wanna taste ya. Cum in my mouth, Stu.” he said before guiding his dripping cock inside his mouth and sucking him hard.

 

“HahhhhhHH… Nghh fuck, yes!” He moved both hands to the satanist’s hair, gripping him tight.

 

Murdoc used one of his hands to work with whatever he could not fit into his mouth, while the other hand went beneath the bluenette to slide two fingers inside him again. He massaged his prostate and fingered him hard as his own cum oozed out and coated his fingers.

 

A few more seconds of the overstimulation and it was enough to send 2D over the edge and he came hard inside Murdoc’s mouth, who swallowed all of it until the last drop.

 

When they were done and 2D was finally catching his breath, he opened his eyes to see Murdoc looking at him. More precisely, his gaze was travelling over his entire body, lingering on every bruise he had made just now.

 

The bassist couldn’t stop thinking about how those bruises would take some time to fade, but 2D will already not be his long before that happens. That is, if he ever really was, to begin with.

 

He wanted to push these thoughts away and try his best to pretend the sweet things he had heard were all true instead of just dirty talking. But he knew for a fact that the singer didn't think this was serious at all. 

 

Murdoc moved both hands to cup his face gently, admiring his features from a level of closeness and intimacy he knew he wouldn’t have anymore. Leaning down, he captured his lips in the softest kiss they’ve shared so far. Their tongues touched lightly, delicately tasting each other without going too deep.

 

They kissed for longer than they usually did after sex, and every time they broke apart, the bassist would soon lean down again for some more. He didn’t really want to stop now. He wanted so bad to make this moment last forever but he knew painfully well that any one of those kisses could  _ and would _ be the last. He just didn’t know which, yet. At some point, their lips would pull away from each other and never touch again. This thought terrified him more than his fear of commitment ever could.

 

So he kissed him over and over, again and again, losing track of what was normal for them and what was not, merely desperate to delude himself into believing it was not the end, not just yet, that there would still be another kiss after the current one was over. He wanted to extend the fantasy he was just now playing in; pretending that 2D was, in fact, his. And vice versa too. 

 

Of course, it didn’t last forever and at some point in the middle of that chain of never-ending kisses, 2D realized something was off.

 

“Muds? You okay?” he asked quietly when they pulled apart one more time, the worry very clear in his voice.

 

“Yeah. Of course.” he replied a bit too fast in an almost emotionless tone, trying his best not to let anything show. The natural thing would be to follow up by asking ‘why do you ask?’ but he certainly did not want to talk about it. Not now.

 

_ ‘Was that the last one?’ _ he thought, the wistfulness present in his eyes as he pondered whether or not he could still kiss him or if he had crossed the limit at this point. Clearly, 2D had already noticed how strange he was acting and he didn’t want to ruin this anymore than it already was beginning to. 

 

_ ‘He’s probably weirded out. Fuck, fuck, of course he is’. _

 

As he looked at him again, taking in the way his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and how his eyes reflected just the same, realization settled in: he would have to stop right there. It pained him to think that maybe the last kiss they shared just moments ago was most probably their final one.

 

The sadness took over his own features and 2D was quick to caught on, although he was afraid to ask about it at this point. The singer felt his chest getting tight as he got the feeling that something was indeed wrong,  _ very _ wrong. As if he knew something bad was about to happen. He debated internally if he should ask him about it or not, deciding that maybe it’s a good idea to just talk about whatever it was. Whatever the issue was, maybe they could work it out. He parted his lips and was just about to ask him what was wrong, when Murdoc spoke again.

 

“Let’s go to sleep.” he said.  _ ‘At least I can have this one last night. I’ll do it tomorrow.’ _

 

“...Okay.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww thank you so much for the comments!
> 
> Not gonna lie, I got some inspiration and already wrote down the structure for the ending chapters (thank you for the viiibessss I FELT THEM).   
> Hope you enjoy this <3


	15. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stress how happy I am to read your comments. I keep saying it, but really, every single comment puts a smile on my face even when my day's not that great, so thank you so much! <3

 

 

 

 

Next morning, Murdoc woke up clinging to 2D, his limbs all wrapped around him, clutching him as if he depended on him to survive. In some way, it really felt like that was true. His chest tightened mere seconds later after remembering everything that’s happened the day before and what he had planned to do today.

 

The singer was sleeping peacefully next to him, completely naked and adorned with bruises from the night before. Reminders of a past reality that was just beginning to slip through his fingers like grains of sand.

 

He traced the marks very gently with the tips of his fingers, enjoying the sensation of touching that beautiful soft skin while he still could, before the man woke up. Thoughts from their first kiss arose in his mind and he reflected on how ironic it was that they were dared to make out that time, while now the real challenge for him was to prevent himself from leaning in and kissing those lips again.

 

His hand went up to tuck a strand of blue hair behind his ear delicately, which he soon regretted to do now that the man beside him stirred and slowly opened his eyes to stare right into Murdoc’s.

 

“Muds?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to push the sleepiness away.

 

“Sorry, didn’ mean ta wake ya.”

 

“‘S okay.” he said, a small smile showing its way to his lips.

 

Murdoc only then noticed he was smiling too, although it soon faltered upon remembering what he was about to do. He took a deep breath and adjusted his position to better face him, now not touching him anymore.

 

“2D. I gotta talk ta ya.”

 

“Wot is it?” he asked, confused at the sudden serious tone so early in the morning.

 

He figured this was different than the times he had to break women’s hearts when they fell for him and expected to turn their casual sex into something more. In those cases, even though he didn’t care for their feelings, he would try to keep the insults down and be somewhat polite - or at least, as polite as he could essentially be.

 

This time though, it was the total opposite. He was ending things because no matter how much he’d like to deny it, he knew he wanted something else that he would never get. He didn’t have to worry too much about not hurting 2D’s feelings because, well, there were no feelings to be hurt in the first place.

 

“Listen. I know we’ve been havin’ fun, yanno… with _this. Us._ But… I’ll jus’ go ahead ‘n say it. I... think we should stop.” he said.

 

Confusion and sadness overtook 2D’s features with those words.

 

“Wh… why?”

 

 _‘Because I love ya ‘n I dunno how to deal with this ‘n ya said this is nothin’ ‘n I jus’ can’t risk losin’ my shit any more than I already did.’_ he thought, although what he actually answered was completely different. “We did enough of this already. It was fun ‘n all, but we should go back ta wot we had before. The birds ‘n all. Don’ ya miss it?”

 

That question felt like it was more directed to himself than to 2D. He needed to convince himself that he missed his old life. It was enough embarrassment to think that him, Murdoc-fucking-Niccals, was actually in love with someone. _‘That’s not me. That was never me.’_

 

“I… N-no. I think. No, wait, are ya… are ya sayin’ ya don’ like this then?” He replied in confusion, not making much sense with his words.

 

 _‘I love this way more than I fuckin’ should’._ “Uh, ‘s alright, I s’pose.” his nonchalant voice didn’t fool himself and probably wouldn’t fool anyone, but it did fool 2D.

 

The face that was previously showing confusion and sadness now consumed with anger. 2D felt his eyes stinging and watering and he got up from the bed in a rush, picking up his clothes from the floor and getting dressed.

 

“Get outta me room.”

 

“Huh?”

 

He turned around, already in his underwear and in the middle of zipping up his jeans. _“I said._ Get. The fuck. OUT. Don’ want ya here.”

 

Murdoc felt like the entire situation had just gotten ten times worse and the feeling in his chest was so horrible and completely new to him, he had no idea what to do. It felt like he was sick and about to collapse. If he had ever guessed than this is what being in love could feel like, he would’ve surely put up a lot more effort into never falling for anyone, ever.

 

He couldn’t gather the strength to say anything back, so he just got up from the bed, got dressed quickly and exited the room.

 

2D, on the other hand, just stood in the middle of his room, holding his shirt loosely in one hand and staring out the window with emotionless eyes for who knows how long. He felt completely lost. The night before, he had fully realized he was in love with Murdoc, and then later when they had sex and the bassist asked him to say he was his, it gave him hope for something more than physical. He knew it could’ve been nothing but dirty talk, but the way Murdoc said it, it just felt like there was a reason behind it. He was so sure there was back then, but clearly it was nothing but meaningless words, otherwise why would he end things like this?

 

He didn’t notice when it happened, but at some point his legs gave in and he found himself curled up in a ball crying on the floor. He cried until he had no tears left and no energy either, being lulled into a dreamless sleep.

 

~

 

Noodle was downstairs in the kitchen helping Rachel and David get everything ready for breakfast when Murdoc showed up, crossing the entire room and heading straight to the front door, ignoring any callings for his name.

 

She ran outside to call him back in, finding him already reaching the sidewalk and turning to his right, walking past their parked car in a hurry.

 

“Murdoc, wait! Where are you going?” Noodle yelled, running for a few seconds until she caught up with him.

 

He never stopped walking. She began feeling more and more concerned, specially when noticing a pained expression like she has never seen him show before.

 

“Murdoc. What happened? Where are you going?”

 

“Out. What do ya want?” he answered, sharply.

 

“Well, I was gonna call you to have breakfast but since you stormed out, I… I got worried.”

 

“There’s no need ta worry ‘bout me. ’m fine. ’m always fine.”

 

His facial expression screamed the opposite. The mask was not working right now and he couldn’t hide how awful he felt. Noodle decided to think more carefully about what to say next, so for now she merely walked by his side without saying anything at all. She knew how stubborn the bassist could be. It seemed nearly impossible to get something out of him if he didn’t want to, but he was like a father or an older brother to her and she had to at least try.

 

Not much further than two blocks down the street, he suddenly stopped walking, making Noodle come to a halt as well.

 

“Why don’t ya go back, huh? Go help out with the chore or woteva and leave me be.”

 

“I don’t want to.”

 

“Why not?! Why the hell are ya followin’ me for?”

 

“I told you. I got worried.”

 

“Well, mind yer own business.” he said between gritted teeth, turning sharply and suddenly crossing the street, trying to put some distance between them. It didn’t work, obviously, and Noodle was quickly back to his side, not saying anything again.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” he stopped one more time, anger taking over his features. “How do I get ya ta go back? I don’ need ya! I don’ need _anyone!_ Ever!”

 

The way he said those words made something click inside her mind. His emphasis on saying he didn’t need anyone seemed like he was beginning to talk about what was going on, even if he was unaware of it.

 

“Murdoc… could this be about 2D?” she asked cautiously.

 

Something in his eyes told her she was right. He curled his hands into fists tightly, his knuckles getting white from the intensity. Slightly shaking, he brought his hands to his face, rubbing it hard and then running his fingers through his hair while stepping back and leaning against a stone wall behind him. He sighed and slid down, sitting on the floor with his face buried in the palms of his hands, elbows resting over his knees.

 

He didn’t say anything for a while, and Noodle quietly sat down next to him, giving him a little bit of space but making her presence known to show him she was there for him.

 

The guitarist thought about what to say and how to say it, making sure to choose the right words so that she wouldn’t shut him down and, ideally, would bring him to open up with her.

 

“No matter what happened, I just wanna let you know you can talk to me, okay? I won’t tell anyone if you’re worried about that. And I can try to help you. Somehow. We can figure it out. I uh, I know you don’t like to talk about personal things, but… It could be good, Murdoc. It could actually be very good.”

 

He didn’t move and didn’t reply for a long time. A couple of minutes passed with them just sitting side by side in a quiet neighbourhood. Not many cars would pass by that street, so it was mostly sounds of birds singing or distant sound of traffic from some nearby street.

 

When Noodle was about to try and say something again, Murdoc finally spoke, without even moving his head from resting over his hands.

 

“I broke up with ‘im.”

 

She widened her eyes a bit, not exactly expecting to hear that.

 

“You… what? Why? Wait, but I thought you guys said you weren’t dating.”

 

“Heh. Yeah, I know. But woteva that was, I ended it.” he said, finally lifting his head but not looking at Noodle. A sad, small smile made its way to his lips. “He never wanted anythin’ else anyway. He said that, remember? That this wos nothin’...”

 

She vaguely remembered when 2D had said that, but clearly it didn’t have that big of an impact on her as it did on Murdoc.

 

“So… did _you_ want more?”

 

“I… I dunno. I mean, no!” his tone changing from apprehensive to irritated.

 

“You don’t know or you don’t want it?”

 

"Tch. No I don't want this actually, I never fuckin did! That's not me, for Satan's sake!”

 

While Noodle was still thinking about those words he said, in silence, Murdoc continued. “Fuck, I don't even know who I am at this point. It's like… I dunno, like I'm reading a script for a role, yanno? A role that has nothin’ to do with me.”

 

“I see your point. Honestly Murdoc, I do. But it could also mean something else.” she started, capturing his attention. “It could also be that this role was meant for you. Maybe you’ve been playing the wrong part this whole time.”

 

“That sounds like a bullshit line from a really corny motivational video.”

 

She narrowed her eyes but otherwise chose to ignore his gratuitous comeback. “You’re angry, yes, I’m aware. If what I said sounds like a cliché or not… that is not the point. It doesn’t change whether or not it’s a fact. And I’ll be honest, I think it is. You know what I meant, don’t you?”

 

He averted his gaze at that, opting to pick at his fingernails instead. Noodle was almost certain he knew what she meant, but decided to explain it either way.

 

“Well, what I meant,” she started, noticing how his eyebrows furrowed as soon as he heard her voice again. “... was that ever since I met you Murdoc, you’ve always been concerned about what other people’s perception of you was. You want to appear brave and self-sufficient 24/7, and I believe it’s because you have a hard time allowing yourself to trust others. I… I know you had awful experiences in the past and those experiences shaped you. It’s not your fault. But as a result, you tried to protect yourself so much from getting emotionally hurt that you started to believe you really don’t need or want anyone else. But if that was indeed true, you would be okay breaking up with 2D, wouldn’t you?”

 

“W-- I, uh… I--”

 

Her hand on his gently silenced him.

 

“If you don’t mind, Murdoc… Can I ask you that question again?”

 

He looked back at her, puzzled. His expression read ‘what question?’ even though he never voiced the words, so she replied anyway.

 

“I asked you before, about 2D. You seemed defensive when you replied, so I’d like to ask again if that is okay. So, well... Did you want more than just fooling around?”

 

“I… I dunno wot I wanted. Wot I want. But I…” he trailed off.

 

“Yes…?” she tried coaxing him to continue.

 

“I bet yer gonna make fun o’ me fer this. But fuck it, I’m a walkin’ joke already. I’m in luv with that soddin’ idiot.”

 

She was partly surprised, of course. Up until a few months ago she would’ve never expected to hear the words ‘I’m in love’ coming from Murdoc, unless he was jokingly referring to booze, cars or money. And to hear that when he was referring to 2D, well that was surely something she would never have guessed in the past. But in this particular situation, she has been noticing hints here and there, and Noodle was exceptionally good at reading people during personal conversations like this one. Even though it felt like a surprise, she felt like she sensed it coming, if that makes any sense.

 

“I’m not going to make fun of you. I’m a bit surprised, sure, but I do not think it’s weird or anything. But, uh… I just want to better understand why you would break up with someone you’re in love with. My guess is... were you afraid of something, Murdoc?” she asked gently, although she feared this question would make him shut down and run away from her.

 

Luckily, it didn’t happen. After thinking about how to explain it to her, he sighed and answered. _“As I said,_ he doesn’t want anythin’ else. ‘s best to end this soon so that I don’ become even more of a tosser in the near future when _he_ decides to stop this. Oh, and it also doesn’t help that his folks caught the two of us snogging in their kitchen last night.”

 

“Oh. Huh. Rachel asked me some odd questions this morning. And David was all quiet too. I knew something was not quite well, but was not sure if I was in a position to be too… inquisitive. So that explains it.” she said, thinking back to earlier that morning. “So I figure you told 2D you love him then?”

 

“Of course not!”

 

“Wh--? But then how can you know whether or not he reciprocates?” she asked him, turning her body fully so that she’d be facing him better.

 

“I _know_ it. He fuckin’ said it, remember? Yer a smart kid, didn’t think I’d have to spell that out fer ya.”

 

“What? Murdoc, listen, that thing he said could have been just a way of trying to maintain some level of secrecy to your relationship or something similar to that, since you two had just been put on the spot by me and Russ back then. Or, I don’t know, perhaps he just didn’t want to hear you say something worse about him. In both cases, it seems to me that it is a defense mechan--”

 

“--Will ya fuckin’ _stop_ analysing everythin’ like yer Sherlock already?!” he demanded, his voice louder now. “That’s all bollocks and I don’ wanna hear yer stupid ideas anymore. Jus’ go back.” he gestured in the direction of the house. He took a cigarette from inside a jacket pocket and was hurriedly searching everywhere for his lighter, to no avail.

 

“Here.” Noddle said, offering her own lighter to him. He paused for a moment before reaching for her hand and grabbing it. He lit it up, taking a long drag while giving the lighter back to her.

 

“We were not a good influence on ya.”

 

She chuckled. “Well, I do not smoke nearly as much as you guys do.”

 

He glanced at her, pondering if offering the cigarette to her would be contradictory to what he had just said. He wanted to do something nice to her, at least. Noodle came after him on her own accord, worrying about him and trying to help even though he constantly pushed her away.

 

“You, uh… want some?” he asked, gesturing with the cigarette in her direction.

 

“Nah, not now. But thanks for offering.”

 

They stayed like this for some time, in complete silence again, until Murdoc was done smoking. After putting it out, he tossed the cigarette butt somewhere in the middle of the street while his mind wandered to the house. He could still see it from here, although initially his plan was to go as far away from that place as he could - before Noodle changed everything.

 

Even though he denied all of her words, he couldn’t get them out of his head. It didn’t seem plausible at all, but still. The “what if?” for this circumstance was now plaguing his mind, making him just slightly hopeful which, to be fair, he hated. He felt weak, vulnerable, pathetic. Just when he finally took back the control of this situation, all his certainties start shaking. Had he just made the worst mistake of his life now?

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to an end, right?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ~~But this fic hasn't yet.~~


	16. The Ashes

 

 

 

 

The rest of the day is a blur. 

 

After Murdoc and Noodle came back, she forced him to sit down with everyone for breakfast. 2D was there too, also against his will. They ignored each other the entire time. Conversation was kept to a minimum and it basically consisted of Rachel trying to still act like a good host and lift the moods up by making conversation even though she wasn’t that happy either. Noodle and Russel did their best to talk so that the silence between 2D and Murdoc (well, and David) was just a bit less uncomfortable.

 

The singer took about two bites off his meal, forcing a bit down just because his mom had made him his favourite and he didn’t want to disappoint her (again). Murdoc forced down some food just so that it wouldn’t go to waste; he had made the house owners too mad already. It didn’t do him good though and he felt nauseous the whole day.

 

Rachel and David decided not to prepare lunch today. Not a single person in the house is even close to being hungry, everyone being affected by the drastic change in atmosphere. After a whole afternoon of people trying to figure out what to do, Russel suggested to Noodle that maybe the four of them should cut their trip to Crawley short and go back home. That way, Mr and Mrs Pot wouldn’t need to worry about entertaining the guests in the middle of this whole mess. Murdoc agreed when the pair asked him about it; all he wanted to do was to shut himself away from everyone. 2D though, decided to stay a bit longer. He didn’t think he could handle a ride home in the same car as Murdoc, only to then have to go back to living in the same house as the other man.

 

By the end of that afternoon, they’re gone.

  
  


~

  
  


The first few days are the worst, as both Noodle and Russel try and fail to get Murdoc to talk to them about the issue. The bassist is miserable the entire time. He does talk to the others a bit, but as soon as he hears a mention of the singer, he shuts off and eventually puts some distance between him and his other band mates; on “good” days he’ll give excuses of having to go out to restock on alcohol or something like that. But most of the times something or someone makes him think of 2D in the presence of the others, he just wordlessly escapes to his room. 

 

And just like that, a couple of weeks have passed since the disastrous day and 2D still hasn’t come back. He kept very minimal contact with the drummer and the guitarist, only by a couple of texts every now and then, but never picking up calls. Noodle suspects he doesn’t want them to hear his voice in case it cracks over the phone, and she’s probably right.

 

The mood is still shitty and both Noodle and Russel don’t think they have another option besides extending their break, seeing as half the band is completely debilitated to work and the other half can’t help but get affected as well.

 

It’s not a stretch to say Murdoc has been either drunk or high or both the entire time - as soon as he starts sobering up, he takes another hit or opens another bottle. One of these days he tries to guess how many times he started typing out a simple “hey” and then erased it before he’d drunk-text the singer. He assumes it’s somewhere between 20 and 63, before deciding he’s not very good at estimating a narrowed-down range. He’s glad he doesn’t own an iPhone right now because in the middle of his drunken rumination, he concluded that the best thing for him to do was to remove the damn thing’s battery before he’d mistakenly hit “send”. Of course, he could’ve just stopped charging his phone, but somehow this logic never crossed his mind. Besides, it’s more dramatic this way and he certainly enjoys this part of it, at least.

  
  


~

  
  


Those two weeks were absolute hell for him. He felt awful ever since that day and wanted nothing more than to have someone to talk to. If only Noodle or Russel were there with him, he could confide in them and get some outsider opinions on what to do next. Talking on the phone or texting them were not the best approaches for this kind of talk, in his opinion. He wanted face-to-face. He needed to examine their facial expressions while he talked and needed them to examine his; and to hug him if necessary.

 

It pained Stuart to see how hard his parents tried to cheer him up all the time, every single day. It got worse one day when they mentioned a couple of women that studied with him way back in the day, during his secondary school. Sarah was one of them; he remembered when he had a crush on her when he was 13 or 14 and then one day he heard from another classmate that she thought his blue-dyed hair made him look like a wanker. He tried convincing his parents to dye his hair brown back then, but Rachel explained he’d have to keep touching up the roots all the time and that he was too young to start damaging his hair like that.

 

The other woman was either Chloe or Zoey - he wasn’t fully paying attention that day - and according to his parents, she looked just as lovely as she did decades ago and had just recently divorced. But frankly, it didn’t matter if it was Sarah, Chloe or Zoey. He couldn’t really think about being with anyone right now. It just wasn’t the time.

 

It got a whole lot worse a few days after that when his father awkwardly mentioned he had just found out that one of the employees at his fairground was, quote-unquote,  _ apparently interested in blokes too _ and asked Stuart if he knew who he was talking about. He thinks he did know, but all he could really think of was that he probably looked  _ really _ bad if his dad got to the point of revisiting his prejudiced ways of thinking and actually trying to set him up with Adam from the fairground.

 

Although 2D appreciated his parents’ good intentions, he still didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to them about the whole Murdoc situation. So during those two weeks he tried as hard as he could to not think about the other man. He tried to stop staring at his phone. More specifically, he wanted to stop staring at his WhatsApp, wondering if he should or shouldn’t send a message to him. Today though, he decided maybe one text would be fine. After almost an hour of mulling over what to write, he settled on a simple “hey”, just to get things started. 

 

He frowned when, after several minutes had passed, the little icon at the bottom kept indicating his message was sent, but not delivered.

  
  


~

  
  


A few more days have passed and Russel was just tired of all of this. He missed the way things were before when they were all having fun together. Sure, Murdoc and 2D would have arguments from time to time, so him and Noodle were used to hearing some angry yelling followed by avoidance from both parties, but it would never last too long. Mere days later, at most, one of them would awkwardly talk to the other as if nothing had happened, and the other always looked like they were about to do the same. Their friendship had a lot of ups and downs, but the good moments were just as intense as the bad ones. All things considered, Russel thinks they suited each other almost too well.

 

And that’s why today he had made the decision to try and get the older man to talk. He was cautious when approaching the other, offering a beer and inviting him to watch TV together. Luckily for him he agreed and soon enough they were casting different videos from YouTube to their TV, mostly of other artists performing and some compilations of “stage fails” and “reaction” videos, all music-related. It got Murdoc out of his shell a little bit, and Russel made sure to just continue talking about everything except 2D, for a while. He knew that if he just went and asked him about it, he’d be told to sod off like all of his previous attempts and that’d be it.

 

A couple of hours in, the drummer felt like it was time to start shifting the conversation into what he intended to and thankfully, he had a plan. He was going from video to video on YouTube in a way that he knew would bring up a certain video among the related recommendations.

 

“Oh man, look!”

 

Murdoc looked up from his beer while Russel went to select the next video to watch, a big smile on his face. “I don’t think I’ve seen this one before!”

 

The selection was now hovering over a thumbnail showing the faces of the four of them on a video titled “College kids react to Gorillaz”. Murdoc froze.

 

“Choose another one.” he spit out in a hurry.

 

Russel played dumb. “Huh? Why, you seen this already?”

 

“Just choose somethin’ else.”

 

“Aren’t ya curious to hear what they gonna say?”

 

“Not.  _ Now. _ Dammit Russ, this… tch” Murdoc said, putting down his bottle on the coffee table with a bit too much force and burying his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

 

There was silence for a few seconds and Russel was glad that he at least didn’t storm off as he usually would.

 

“You okay, man?”

 

“Oh I’m just wonderful! Never felt better, really. Glad ya can tell, mate!”

 

“You know what I mean, Muds. I’m just tryna help. You... wanna talk about it?”

 

After what felt like an eternity, Murdoc replied.

 

“I jus’... I’m jus’ wonderin’ if I fucked up.”

 

“About 2D, you mean?”

 

Murdoc furrowed his eyebrows, eyes shut tight. He knew Russel was watching him, so he just nodded in response.

 

“You can still talk to him. Call him or somethin’.”

 

“...”

 

“No really, man. I’m serious, if you think you made a mistake, just try to fix it.”

 

“I… Yeah, ‘s jus’... Wot if he doesn’t wanna hear me out?”

  
  


~

  
  


“I really don’ think he wants to talk to me, mum.”

 

Rachel sat diagonally from Stuart at the dining table. They had just finished having dinner and David was taking care of the dishes in silence, listening to their conversation while Rachel tried, yet again, to help their son.

 

She bit her lip, looking at him while he avoided her gaze and played with the tablecloth instead. David had told her about his conversation with Murdoc the other day, so she knew he told her husband that he loved their son. She also kept in touch with Noodle a bit, even though she wasn’t used to texting and had a hard time noticing when there was a notification on her cell (the sodding thing had such tiny little letters and symbols!), so she was aware that things were not that great for them back in London either.

 

“Well… you don’t know unless you try, right?”

 

“Why are ya even tellin’ me that? Thought you hated ‘im.”

 

She frowned, reaching with her hand to grab his. “It’s… complicated. But me and your dad, we don’t feel that way anymore, Stu. Not after you told us-- well, told  _ me… _ that those things were not true.”

 

2D just listened, not once saying anything back, so Rachel continued. “I’ll be honest, it’s not like he’s the type of person I’d dream about you having as a... partner, but… he’s a big part of your life. You work together and have been living together for decades. You can’t just ignore all of this, dear… I think you two should have a proper conversation again, be honest with each other. At the very least, have some closure.”

 

He didn’t know what to say. His heart was thumping a tad too fast in his chest and he could feel his throat hurt as he tried not to cry again. His anxiety hadn’t been under control lately and all he wanted was to relax for once. After concluding this conversation wouldn’t help, 2D excused himself and went up to his room where he locked the door and searched every trouser pocket until he found what he was looking for. Lighting up the small joint, he sat on the floor with his back against the cold walls and simply smoked for a while, waiting for his nerves to cool down.

 

The haze was more than welcoming as it came. For a moment he wished he could feel like this most of the time for days and days in a row until somehow his emotional wounds would magically heal and he’d one day come down from an almost-never-ending high and find himself having moved on. He’d move back to London and be back to making music with the band and not feel a single thing towards Murdoc anymore.

 

He frowned, somehow remembering things don’t really work like this. Frustrated with his weed, he wondered if he should light up another one after this but decided to just stick to this one. His eyes eventually landed on a notebook on top of his bedside table. His mother had given that to him a couple of days ago as an attempt to get him to vent about his feelings since he wouldn’t talk to his parents about them. It made him feel guilty and he started opening up with them that day, just a bit.

 

He reached for it, not entirely aware of what he would do with it yet, even though his body seemed to know. He grabbed a black marker and flipped to one arbitrary page of the completely blank, unruled notebook and started scribbling nonsense after nonsense, drawing weird faces and headless figures, letting his intoxicated mind fill random pages of what was turning out to be his journal. 

 

He doesn’t remember when it happened, but at some point he had gotten even more creative with it, adding more colours to his drawings and scribbles, cutting out images and glueing them to the paper along with some stickers he found lying around, somehow. Time was a concept his mind could no longer grasp at this point, but when his mind finally started to clear up just a little bit, his eyebrows furrowed and his black ballpoint pen dropped from his hand and onto the floor. He stared at the rough sketch of what he could only guess was of himself and Murdoc inside the Stylo, the rest of the page blank. 

 

With trembling hands, he started flipping the pages, a couple of them with small bits of rough lyrics but other than that, most pages were filled with scrawls and doodles. He stared at another page now. It had Murdoc’s face cut out from some picture - he spotted said picture lying on the floor not too far from him - and his face was partly scribbled in black; a weird shape next to it made him wonder if there was previously a heart there. 

 

His eyes focused on a single word written at the top of that same page. 

 

_ SELFISH _

  
  


~

  
  


“Am I being selfish, Noodle?” he slurred.

 

She sighed heavily, not knowing what to do with an extremely plastered Murdoc who suddenly decided to cry out his feelings. Although she wanted to get him to open up, it wasn’t exactly the alcohol-induced type of opening up that she had envisioned.

 

“Why do you think so, Murdoc?”

 

He lifted the bottle of rum to his lips again, his face making a confused expression when not even a drop came out. Noodle didn’t say anything, but the last three times he tried to drink, the bottle was already empty - which was something his hammered mind couldn’t process. He lowered the bottle again but didn’t let it go. Apparently he would try it again later.

 

“Uh… come again luv?”

 

Once again, she let out a long sigh. It seems like those two things were bound to be repeated non-stop that evening; Noodle’s sighs and Murdoc’s attempts to drink from an empty bottle. “I  _ asked, _ why did you ask if you’re being selfish, Muds?”

 

“Oh… Jus’... I didn’t let ‘im speak, that… Uh, that… time.” he grunted, suddenly frustrated he couldn’t properly express his thoughts. “... wot ‘m  _ sayin’ _ is, I didn’t… conssssider ‘is feelingss, yanno… ya do know, right? Or… did…?” he mumbled something completely impossible to understand. Half of it didn’t make sense already, but she got the idea anyway.

 

“You can still talk to him, Murdoc. Really, me and Russ have been telling you that these past few days. Why don’t you call him?”

 

“No! I, I can’t call him… H-he… He doesn’t recipo-- ressss… reciproca--” he gave up on saying that word and slowly lifted the empty bottle to his lips again, only to have it snatched away by Noodle.

 

“H-heeeey!”

 

“It’s empty.” She put the bottle down on the floor next to her. “And Murdoc, you just said not even a minute ago that you didn’t let him speak. What if he feels the same way? Which, may I say, I bet he does.”

  
  


~

  
  


“Don’t lie to me! Why would you even say that?”

 

Warm tears were running down his face and he flinched away with every one of his mother’s attempts to wipe them away. His father stood beside her, dark circles under his eyes from long overdue sleep. 

 

“Because I heard it from  _ him! _ Please Stu, --” David said again, desperate to help.

 

“No! He  _ doesn’t _ love me! If he did, he wouldn’t end things like that. H-he wouldn’t… Ugh… jus’ stop, please, jus’ leave me alone.” he said, before storming off again.

  
  


~

  
  


Next day, the silence from that late morning was broken by their landline phone ringing. Murdoc grunted, slouched on their couch, but didn’t move an inch to pick it up. Both Noodle and Russel reached the living room at the same time, and both of them shoot Murdoc a disapproving look. He doesn’t seem to give two fucks.

 

“Russel speaking. Who dis?” 

 

Noodle sat down at an armchair and grabbed the open bag of chips from over Murdoc’s belly, ignoring his protests and eating a few.

 

“Oh. Hi uh, what’s up? ... Yeah sure, go on. Uh-huh.” 

 

Murdoc tried to snatch the bag of chips away from the guitarist while she merely moved it just out of reach from him, completely unfazed by his attempts.

 

“Damn, that’s… that’s bad.” Russel replied on the phone. “Yeah well... same.” he said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

 

Both Noodle and Murdoc looked back at him, suddenly curious to know what happened.

 

“No, I agree. What’s on your mind? … Oh, I see. Yeah yeah, we’ll figure something out. Yeah, don’t worry, we will. I guess uh, we’ll see you later then. Yeah, sounds good. You too. Bye.” 

 

It’s obvious the other two are staring at his back and as soon as he hangs up, Noodle spoke.

 

“Who was it?”

 

The drummer turns around and looks at her before taking a few steps towards them.

 

“Eric.”

 

“Who?” Murdoc asks.

 

“For God’s sake Murdoc, Eric’s our manager.” Noodle says. “What did he want?”

 

“He complained about us taking a longer break than we said we would. And uh, he said there’s some bad publicity beginning to spread. Kinda under control for now though, he said.”

 

“Wot kind of publicity?” Murdoc asked and Noodle just looked confused, narrowing her eyes.

 

“He didn’t want to explain over the phone. Told us to go meet with them later this afternoon to work some things out.” 

 

“Fuckin’ hell, what do we pay them for if they can’t handle shit themselves? Thanks but no thanks, I’ll jus’ stay right here.”

 

“Well you don’t have to go but then you have to accept whatever we decide about this issue. Dat cool?”

 

Murdoc grumbles but ends up agreeing. “Fine, fine. I’ll go to this stupid meeting.”

 

“Cool.” The drummer looks back at Noodle. “Hey uh, can I have a hand with lunch?”

  
  


~

  
  


After they’re finished eating, Noodle convinces Murdoc to take a proper shower to get him to sober up a bit faster (and frankly, he hadn’t showered in days). When he comes back into the living room, (thankfully) dressed and with dripping wet hair, Noodle is sitting on the couch sipping a hot tea and glued to her phone, probably tweeting. He notices another mug on the coffee table.

 

“That one’s for you. It’s good for minimizing hangovers.” 

 

He accepts it, mumbling a thanks and plopping down by her side. The taste is not the best, but the warmth feels nice and if it’s going to help with the hangover, he doesn’t mind it at all. 

 

They make small conversation and Murdoc practically chugs his tea down, setting the mug back on top of the coffee table and then leaning back on the couch. The movement seemed to not sit too well with him and he shuts his eyes for a bit.

 

“You okay?” he hears Noodle asking, a bit of worry in her voice.

 

“Yeah yeah, I… maybe I’m too old to have that much rum in the morning.” he laughs and snuggles a bit on the couch, getting comfy between the throw pillows.

 

“Well, maybe take a nap then? We’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”

 

“Hum. Yeah I’ll do that…” he turns a bit on his side and feels a blanket draping over his shoulders. “Thanks, luv…”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my luvs~
> 
> Finally another chapter! ~~Sorry for the wait. I keep saying that with every chapter, I know. Sorry. I'll stop. Maybe.~~ Damn I really need to sleep now. Gotta wake up early and work and it's almost 2am. Whyyyy
> 
> Just one observation here. I hope it's clear enough but just in case it's not, the part about 2D's diary basically means he started filling up the pages at that point, so it's still not the full diary and it doesn't include much in terms of lyrics. I thought about using Souk Eye or Kansas somehow but I don't think the lyrics fit EXACTLY with what I had planned for this chapter. There's so much good material on The Now Now but I thought it'd be more interesting to use 2D's journal itself instead of lyrics. What do you guys think? 
> 
> I love to read your comments, they make me smile like an idiot! Oh btw if there are any typos or weird sentences, let me know. I caught some bizarre stuff while reviewing but I'm too sleepy so I'm not sure if I got 'em all. ~~Pokémon wut~~
> 
> Also, we're so close to the end, aaaaaaaaaaaaa-
> 
>  
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and feedback so that I can improve.
> 
> By the way, this is my second fic! If you haven’t already, you’re welcomed to check out my other 2doc fic, I Wanna See You. Thank you!


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